AlanPadres
@alanpadres.bsky.social
Pragmatist/Optimist/Pessimist. Pediatric Nurse🙏❤️ Life is like a cake, there’s LAYERS to it! Context matters. GO PADRES!!!
Pinned
AlanPadres
@alanpadres.bsky.social
· Oct 28
Might start hangin out on here more. Helluva season from our Padres. Brutal finish, but easily the most fun I’ve had watching this team all season.
Over halfway done with nursing school now and can smell the finish line. Time to lock in for fall/winter 😎🔥❤️🙏
Over halfway done with nursing school now and can smell the finish line. Time to lock in for fall/winter 😎🔥❤️🙏
Last time I went to Wendy’s, I ordered a [redacted], [redacteds], and a Sour Cream + Chives baked potato.
I get home . . .
No sour cream in the bag 😭
Nowadays you gotta ask for napkins, ketchup, hell, you must assume the entire order is wrong every time 😭
Alas, the horrors continue . . .
I get home . . .
No sour cream in the bag 😭
Nowadays you gotta ask for napkins, ketchup, hell, you must assume the entire order is wrong every time 😭
Alas, the horrors continue . . .
February 14, 2026 at 2:38 AM
Last time I went to Wendy’s, I ordered a [redacted], [redacteds], and a Sour Cream + Chives baked potato.
I get home . . .
No sour cream in the bag 😭
Nowadays you gotta ask for napkins, ketchup, hell, you must assume the entire order is wrong every time 😭
Alas, the horrors continue . . .
I get home . . .
No sour cream in the bag 😭
Nowadays you gotta ask for napkins, ketchup, hell, you must assume the entire order is wrong every time 😭
Alas, the horrors continue . . .
Me: “I shall buy this $5 chicken that can provide protein for most of the week”
The 1 %: “YOU WELFARE SLUTGOBLIN YOU’LL NEVER OWN PROPERTY OR PEOPLE WITH THOSE NASTY HABITS!!”
The 1 %: “YOU WELFARE SLUTGOBLIN YOU’LL NEVER OWN PROPERTY OR PEOPLE WITH THOSE NASTY HABITS!!”
Gen Zers and millennials are swimming in student debt and may never own homes, but they’re splurging on gut-healthy juices and rotisserie chickens.
The Booming Business of Luxury Grocery Stores
A new crop of gourmet grocers has hit the city, drawing lines of trendy TikTokers, MAHA-curious health fiends and Instacart devotees who want to pop in for a treat.
on.wsj.com
February 11, 2026 at 2:43 AM
Me: “I shall buy this $5 chicken that can provide protein for most of the week”
The 1 %: “YOU WELFARE SLUTGOBLIN YOU’LL NEVER OWN PROPERTY OR PEOPLE WITH THOSE NASTY HABITS!!”
The 1 %: “YOU WELFARE SLUTGOBLIN YOU’LL NEVER OWN PROPERTY OR PEOPLE WITH THOSE NASTY HABITS!!”
Wait, how is Snoop Dogg doing video bits with NBC and the Olympics?
Isn’t he on retainer with the Trump administration after selling out and performing at his inauguration?
Isn’t he on retainer with the Trump administration after selling out and performing at his inauguration?
a woman is drinking a soda while sitting in front of a computer screen .
ALT: a woman is drinking a soda while sitting in front of a computer screen .
media.tenor.com
February 10, 2026 at 1:27 AM
Wait, how is Snoop Dogg doing video bits with NBC and the Olympics?
Isn’t he on retainer with the Trump administration after selling out and performing at his inauguration?
Isn’t he on retainer with the Trump administration after selling out and performing at his inauguration?
San Diego Padres:
“We will continue to be active on the platform that elevates Nazi discourse and child porn”
“We will continue to be active on the platform that elevates Nazi discourse and child porn”
February 10, 2026 at 1:16 AM
San Diego Padres:
“We will continue to be active on the platform that elevates Nazi discourse and child porn”
“We will continue to be active on the platform that elevates Nazi discourse and child porn”
When the dodgers visit the White House (again) Trump is 1000% going to ask for either:
a) The World Series trophy
b) The World Series MVP trophy
c) Clayton Kershaw’s daughter
d) All of the above
a) The World Series trophy
b) The World Series MVP trophy
c) Clayton Kershaw’s daughter
d) All of the above
Trump, in the middle of his latest unhinged Truth Social screed, claims that if Canada makes a trade deal with China, "the first thing China will do is terminate ALL Ice Hockey being played in Canada, and permanently eliminate The Stanley Cup."
February 10, 2026 at 1:13 AM
When the dodgers visit the White House (again) Trump is 1000% going to ask for either:
a) The World Series trophy
b) The World Series MVP trophy
c) Clayton Kershaw’s daughter
d) All of the above
a) The World Series trophy
b) The World Series MVP trophy
c) Clayton Kershaw’s daughter
d) All of the above
Reposted by AlanPadres
four year old, the moment the bad bunny halftime show ended: “can we watch that again?”
February 9, 2026 at 1:34 AM
four year old, the moment the bad bunny halftime show ended: “can we watch that again?”
Reposted by AlanPadres
WOKE 2 IS HERE
February 9, 2026 at 1:32 AM
WOKE 2 IS HERE
Bad Bunny finally said something in English: “San Francisco!”
February 9, 2026 at 1:28 AM
Bad Bunny finally said something in English: “San Francisco!”
Reposted by AlanPadres
call me "woke" or whatever but I think the Superbowl should have less football and more dancing latinas
February 9, 2026 at 1:25 AM
call me "woke" or whatever but I think the Superbowl should have less football and more dancing latinas
MAGA: “Finally an English part! 😡”
February 9, 2026 at 1:25 AM
MAGA: “Finally an English part! 😡”
Reposted by AlanPadres
Flyover country facebook uncles are inventing new slurs
February 9, 2026 at 1:22 AM
Flyover country facebook uncles are inventing new slurs
Reposted by AlanPadres
This halftime show is perfectly crafted to annoy all the worst people.
February 9, 2026 at 1:21 AM
This halftime show is perfectly crafted to annoy all the worst people.
Morgan Wallen fans seething at the TV right now
February 9, 2026 at 1:21 AM
Morgan Wallen fans seething at the TV right now
I mean who DOESNT love a low scoring, defensive Super Bowl 🤷♂️
a group of people in a stadium holding up a sign that says d.
ALT: a group of people in a stadium holding up a sign that says d.
media.tenor.com
February 9, 2026 at 12:21 AM
I mean who DOESNT love a low scoring, defensive Super Bowl 🤷♂️
Reposted by AlanPadres
No Kings includes Draft Kings
February 8, 2026 at 11:49 PM
No Kings includes Draft Kings
Reposted by AlanPadres
Super Bowl LX Begins With Moment Of Silence For Failed Bay Area Startups
February 8, 2026 at 11:36 PM
Super Bowl LX Begins With Moment Of Silence For Failed Bay Area Startups
Americans may not have a lot, but at least we have this
February 8, 2026 at 11:47 PM
Americans may not have a lot, but at least we have this
I’m just glad we get a break from seeing video of Brittany and Jackson Maholmes for at least a year
a young boy is smiling and giving a thumbs up sign while wearing a blue shirt .
ALT: a young boy is smiling and giving a thumbs up sign while wearing a blue shirt .
media.tenor.com
February 8, 2026 at 11:42 PM
I’m just glad we get a break from seeing video of Brittany and Jackson Maholmes for at least a year
They should’ve gotten Trump to do another flawless, definitely not awkward at all coin toss to show off how Sigma Male he is
a referee is shaking hands with a group of people on a field .
ALT: a referee is shaking hands with a group of people on a field .
media.tenor.com
February 8, 2026 at 11:36 PM
They should’ve gotten Trump to do another flawless, definitely not awkward at all coin toss to show off how Sigma Male he is
Back when America was great, we’d get flyovers from B2 bombers, not B1 bombers that show up late 😭
February 8, 2026 at 11:32 PM
Back when America was great, we’d get flyovers from B2 bombers, not B1 bombers that show up late 😭
Surprised they didn’t put up a live feed of the US bombing another fishing boat on the Jumbotron cause MURRICA
a cartoon of a man wearing sunglasses and a hat that says bait shop
ALT: a cartoon of a man wearing sunglasses and a hat that says bait shop
media.tenor.com
February 8, 2026 at 11:26 PM
Surprised they didn’t put up a live feed of the US bombing another fishing boat on the Jumbotron cause MURRICA
Conservatives up in arms with Bad Bunny singing at halftime when there’s already a Charlie singing pre-game
#TurningPointForTheUsa
#TurningPointForTheUsa
February 8, 2026 at 11:22 PM
Conservatives up in arms with Bad Bunny singing at halftime when there’s already a Charlie singing pre-game
#TurningPointForTheUsa
#TurningPointForTheUsa
All I can think about during these player intros is Key and Peele 😭
a man with dreadlocks is standing in front of a sign that says scotch velociraptor maloish
ALT: a man with dreadlocks is standing in front of a sign that says scotch velociraptor maloish
media.tenor.com
February 8, 2026 at 11:18 PM
All I can think about during these player intros is Key and Peele 😭
My entire body is twitching with exhaustion just watching the Skiathlon 😭
a person with the number 16 on their shirt is laying on the snow
ALT: a person with the number 16 on their shirt is laying on the snow
media.tenor.com
February 7, 2026 at 10:16 PM
My entire body is twitching with exhaustion just watching the Skiathlon 😭
dodgers agree to visit the White House in the year 2026 THE YEAR OF INFINITE HORRORS then DFA a Mexican/American from their team . . . 🤔
February 6, 2026 at 9:56 PM
dodgers agree to visit the White House in the year 2026 THE YEAR OF INFINITE HORRORS then DFA a Mexican/American from their team . . . 🤔