Helen
@allmycircus.bsky.social
cats, occasional tennis, cats, books, cats, stationery, wrestling, and let’s face it, more cats. same panic, different disco. eat the rich.
The way Vogue ran at the travelator, took two steps, and then sank exhaustedly down and fell off would absolutely be me (if they let me do the travelator without doing the rest of the Eliminator because I wouldn’t get through the rest of it). #gladiators
December 25, 2025 at 6:05 PM
The way Vogue ran at the travelator, took two steps, and then sank exhaustedly down and fell off would absolutely be me (if they let me do the travelator without doing the rest of the Eliminator because I wouldn’t get through the rest of it). #gladiators
Usually I get annoyed being able to hear stuff from next door through the shared wall in my bedroom but this morning I can hear Christmas music as I sit in bed drinking my Lemsip and it’s actually nice.
December 25, 2025 at 9:45 AM
Usually I get annoyed being able to hear stuff from next door through the shared wall in my bedroom but this morning I can hear Christmas music as I sit in bed drinking my Lemsip and it’s actually nice.
Ending my Christmas Eve completely alcohol-free and drinking Lemsip because the cold was winning. 🙃 Going to bed and hoping it’s better tomorrow.
December 24, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Ending my Christmas Eve completely alcohol-free and drinking Lemsip because the cold was winning. 🙃 Going to bed and hoping it’s better tomorrow.
Last advent calendar present. I’m not doing it next year because it’s expensive and so are houses and also I’ve run out of ideas for presents small enough. It’s been really fun this year though, good job Past Me.
December 24, 2025 at 9:49 AM
Last advent calendar present. I’m not doing it next year because it’s expensive and so are houses and also I’ve run out of ideas for presents small enough. It’s been really fun this year though, good job Past Me.
Me: How did I wake up feeling WORSE this morning?! I was fine last night! So fine I didn’t have to take any Nurofen before bed!
Me: …
Me: Ah, I see.
Me: …
Me: Ah, I see.
December 24, 2025 at 9:34 AM
Me: How did I wake up feeling WORSE this morning?! I was fine last night! So fine I didn’t have to take any Nurofen before bed!
Me: …
Me: Ah, I see.
Me: …
Me: Ah, I see.
This little Home Alone future fic is one of my favourite things to reread every Christmas. I love how it extrapolates the family dynamics when they’re older and maybe (a little bit) wiser, and Kevin. I love Kevin in this.
archiveofourown.org/works/218384...
archiveofourown.org/works/218384...
Attention Seeker - GoggledMonkey - Home Alone (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
archiveofourown.org
December 24, 2025 at 1:01 AM
This little Home Alone future fic is one of my favourite things to reread every Christmas. I love how it extrapolates the family dynamics when they’re older and maybe (a little bit) wiser, and Kevin. I love Kevin in this.
archiveofourown.org/works/218384...
archiveofourown.org/works/218384...
My mum, calling from my brother’s house before they drive up to me tomorrow: Your brother’s house is immaculate you know.
Me, recovering from four days of being sick, a £108 bill for a cat abscess last week, TWO days of a flooded garden, having just spent £200 on food for everyone:
Me, recovering from four days of being sick, a £108 bill for a cat abscess last week, TWO days of a flooded garden, having just spent £200 on food for everyone:
a man is kneeling on the floor with the words i hate everything behind him
ALT: a man is kneeling on the floor with the words i hate everything behind him
media.tenor.com
December 23, 2025 at 9:40 PM
My mum, calling from my brother’s house before they drive up to me tomorrow: Your brother’s house is immaculate you know.
Me, recovering from four days of being sick, a £108 bill for a cat abscess last week, TWO days of a flooded garden, having just spent £200 on food for everyone:
Me, recovering from four days of being sick, a £108 bill for a cat abscess last week, TWO days of a flooded garden, having just spent £200 on food for everyone:
Reposted by Helen
love that software developers are advertising AI functionality in every single app now and it's up to you to try to figure out if they mean "this has spellcheck" or "everything you create in this app will sync in real-time to sam altman's personal laptop" or something in between
December 23, 2025 at 3:04 PM
love that software developers are advertising AI functionality in every single app now and it's up to you to try to figure out if they mean "this has spellcheck" or "everything you create in this app will sync in real-time to sam altman's personal laptop" or something in between
Oh for ffs they’ve subbed my kitchen roll with something that isn’t even kitchen roll. HOW DOES A SUPERMARKET RUN OUT OF KITCHEN ROLL.
December 23, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Oh for ffs they’ve subbed my kitchen roll with something that isn’t even kitchen roll. HOW DOES A SUPERMARKET RUN OUT OF KITCHEN ROLL.
Okay so the fact that Morrisons is supposed to be here between 4:30-5:30pm and it’s now 4:32pm and I don’t have an email saying they’ve picked my order yet is… not filling me with confidence.
December 23, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Okay so the fact that Morrisons is supposed to be here between 4:30-5:30pm and it’s now 4:32pm and I don’t have an email saying they’ve picked my order yet is… not filling me with confidence.
Christmas acquired. (I just spent over £100 on food and the Morrisons order later is over £100. This is why I never want to host. 🫠)
December 23, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Christmas acquired. (I just spent over £100 on food and the Morrisons order later is over £100. This is why I never want to host. 🫠)
There’s a kid yelling ‘JOHN CEEEEENA’ while I wait for my taxi home, okay WWE stalking me.
December 23, 2025 at 2:32 PM
There’s a kid yelling ‘JOHN CEEEEENA’ while I wait for my taxi home, okay WWE stalking me.
Slight disaster; M&S had none of the nice party food left. 😢 I found some pork belly for my own Christmas on the 27th but my week of munching on mini pies and kyivs might need a rethink.
December 23, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Slight disaster; M&S had none of the nice party food left. 😢 I found some pork belly for my own Christmas on the 27th but my week of munching on mini pies and kyivs might need a rethink.
Right. Christmas food pickup. We can do this y'all, I can face Sainsbury's and M&S on December 23rd.
December 23, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Right. Christmas food pickup. We can do this y'all, I can face Sainsbury's and M&S on December 23rd.
Also, will my Morrisons delivery later bring more food than last year (less than half)? Will they bring any food? Will they even turn up this evening?! (They we’re a day late last year). Who knows! It’s a fun Christmas game!
December 23, 2025 at 10:35 AM
Also, will my Morrisons delivery later bring more food than last year (less than half)? Will they bring any food? Will they even turn up this evening?! (They we’re a day late last year). Who knows! It’s a fun Christmas game!
Mmm do feel better-ish this morning. Better enough to walk around town on December 23rd picking up food? Guess I’ll find out. 🙃
December 23, 2025 at 10:29 AM
Mmm do feel better-ish this morning. Better enough to walk around town on December 23rd picking up food? Guess I’ll find out. 🙃
Honestly, all of you that possess a throat that doesn’t hurt right now should take a moment to appreciate how good you have it.
December 22, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Honestly, all of you that possess a throat that doesn’t hurt right now should take a moment to appreciate how good you have it.
I was feeling better this afternoon so I was overly upbeat about my chances of food collection/shopping on the phone to my mother and- now I feel rubbish again and it’s like, um. I HAVE to pick up the food or there actually won’t be Christmas.
December 22, 2025 at 8:55 PM
I was feeling better this afternoon so I was overly upbeat about my chances of food collection/shopping on the phone to my mother and- now I feel rubbish again and it’s like, um. I HAVE to pick up the food or there actually won’t be Christmas.
I hate The Torygraph and I hate everyone quoted in this & I'm infuriated that I also despise the Online Safety Act to the point I'm forced to agree with anything these assholes say. But. Fuck this dumb act that was designed by monkeys who'd never seen an Internet
www.telegraph.co.uk/business/202...
www.telegraph.co.uk/business/202...
Access Restricted
www.telegraph.co.uk
December 22, 2025 at 7:20 PM
I hate The Torygraph and I hate everyone quoted in this & I'm infuriated that I also despise the Online Safety Act to the point I'm forced to agree with anything these assholes say. But. Fuck this dumb act that was designed by monkeys who'd never seen an Internet
www.telegraph.co.uk/business/202...
www.telegraph.co.uk/business/202...
When I was moving I found half an illicit pack of Tyrozets left (they don’t sell them any more because of the antibiotic even though they were amazing) and I was delighted I had some left for when I really needed them.
Can I find where I safely put them? I cannot.
Can I find where I safely put them? I cannot.
December 22, 2025 at 7:27 AM
When I was moving I found half an illicit pack of Tyrozets left (they don’t sell them any more because of the antibiotic even though they were amazing) and I was delighted I had some left for when I really needed them.
Can I find where I safely put them? I cannot.
Can I find where I safely put them? I cannot.
May the power of an early night and making Nova sleep in the other room so he can't repeatedly wake me, fix this head cold. 😭🤞
December 21, 2025 at 10:36 PM
May the power of an early night and making Nova sleep in the other room so he can't repeatedly wake me, fix this head cold. 😭🤞
Messenger, I may be sick but I do not want to write a response to my brother's message about Christmas presents using 'write with AI' because even if I was literally a zombie I wouldn't be that much of a fucking moron.
December 21, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Messenger, I may be sick but I do not want to write a response to my brother's message about Christmas presents using 'write with AI' because even if I was literally a zombie I wouldn't be that much of a fucking moron.
I hate being ill. 🥲 This sucks.
December 21, 2025 at 4:42 PM
I hate being ill. 🥲 This sucks.
Cody really has the ass of a figure skater these days which is insane when he’s not doing daily quadruple axles.
December 21, 2025 at 11:54 AM
Cody really has the ass of a figure skater these days which is insane when he’s not doing daily quadruple axles.
No, they cancelled Leverage Redemption?! Guess the rich assholes in suits didn’t like seeing themselves in the bad guys. 😭
December 21, 2025 at 10:34 AM
No, they cancelled Leverage Redemption?! Guess the rich assholes in suits didn’t like seeing themselves in the bad guys. 😭