amy brown
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amybrown.xyz
amy brown
@amybrown.xyz
40K followers 940 following 11K posts
writer in tech, parent x2
el cerrito via piqua, ohio

my lore: amybrown.xyz/wendys
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amybrown.xyz
a movie that takes place where i'm from
Glenn Close and Amy Adams in Hillbilly Elegy
November 23, 2025 at 10:23 PM
amybrown.xyz
google showed me this two months ago and it’s forever changed the lexicon of our household. we can’t stop talking about the San Francisco tree
Google’s “people also ask” section. The second entry is Why is rice Roni called the San Francisco tree?
November 23, 2025 at 9:13 PM
amybrown.xyz
he was a boy
she was a girl
can I make it any more obvious
widely memed photo of the pope where it looks like he’s killing it at karaoke
November 23, 2025 at 4:11 AM
amybrown.xyz
trying to lock in my 2026 predictions by Christmas
2026 predictions • Protein craze reaches its logical endpoint (protein weed vape) • Peter Thiel performs a human sacrifice O Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau get engaged • Labubus uncool • Taylor Swift cancelled • Catholic Church spins off a new denomination of Christianity after the pope says something too tolerant O HBO Max rebrands again O Federal weed legalization in an attempt to distract from • JD Vance leaving his wife for Erika Kirk • The rapture happens and nobody really cares. It's actually kind of nice • Ms Rachel wins the Nobel Peace Prize
November 21, 2025 at 11:05 PM
amybrown.xyz
every picture on facebook marketplace tells a story
a white dresser topped with a glittery wildcat head, a painting of king kong but he's wearing a gold chain, and some kind of silver pillar thing, maybe a candle holder? the baseboards in the background are corrugated metal
November 21, 2025 at 7:42 PM
amybrown.xyz
ok thanks
An ad for like a bra probably? Featuring a woman’s disembodied torso with the word “Boobs” on top
November 21, 2025 at 2:01 PM
amybrown.xyz
from the same brains that brought you “i bet I could beat Serena Williams at tennis”
Weisenburg and Thomas prepared from August 2024 to July 2025 to execute their plans, in which they allegedly intended to buy a boat, sail to Gonâve Island, kill every man on the island, overtake it by force, and take the women and children as sex slaves. Gonâve Island has a population of about 87,000.
November 21, 2025 at 1:19 PM
amybrown.xyz
park that car
drop that phone
sleep on the floor
I’m thinking about those beans meme
November 21, 2025 at 1:55 AM
amybrown.xyz
new big ugly house just dropped www.zillow.com/homedetails/...
a three-story modern industrial-looking house set against a wooded lot a room with one window that seems to be otherwise completely made of concrete. a metal stepladder leads to a slightly elevated sleeping loft
November 20, 2025 at 7:47 PM
amybrown.xyz
saw this one the other day and was just like. what do you mean you’re still upset. go to therapy
My ex and I bought a house and a few weeks later, the previous owners asked if they could come by and retrieve their wind chimes, which had been a wedding present. I was vehemently opposed to this be they were OUR wind chimes now, and also it set a dangerous precedent for them to contact us and come by again in the future as they continued to remember items they forgot. My ex ended up winning that argument and let them come by (not even their realtor - THEM) and l've been upset about it since.
November 20, 2025 at 5:22 PM
amybrown.xyz
texting my mom about this
Two texts that say: I'm glad he did that song Though I have to admit the mother in me is wishing he would have washed his hair (I responded to the second text with a cry laugh emoji)
November 20, 2025 at 5:02 PM
amybrown.xyz
googled my nearest olive garden and discovered we have a shortage of them out here. nobody is talking about this
map of san francisco bay area showing four far-flung olive gardens
November 20, 2025 at 12:06 AM
amybrown.xyz
though i'm excited to report they're doing amazing things with birthday candles
a set of 6 birthday candles that look like various types of pasta
November 19, 2025 at 4:59 AM
amybrown.xyz
why do these all look so weird. am i gonna have to spell out FOUR in balloons
four listings for mylar balloons in the shape of the number four, but the longer you look at them the less they look like the number 4
November 19, 2025 at 4:48 AM
amybrown.xyz
[JERRY SEINFELD VOICE]
“WHATS THE DEAL WITH KETAMINE?”
November 19, 2025 at 2:16 AM
amybrown.xyz
[DON DRAPER VOICE] weed chocolate…for Jews
Tokin’ Chews Gelty Pleasure gelt that gets you chai 8 pieces for 8 crazy nights Kosher and gluten free
November 19, 2025 at 2:01 AM
amybrown.xyz
gonna start a running thread of what Instagram thinks I’m interested in starting with this
Guy dumping wine on himself. On screen caption says “alcohol is not actually toxic” in all caps and then again in lowercase the guy is now sitting in a kiddie pool dumping red wine all over himself. caption says “and today I’m going to prove it to you by bathing in it”
November 19, 2025 at 1:58 AM
amybrown.xyz
they make flared leggings for babies and i just gotta say. incredible work by all involved
A baby shown from the torso down. She is wearing flared black leggings, a white shirt with a black cat print, and yellow rain boots
November 19, 2025 at 12:32 AM
amybrown.xyz
bro there's a whole paragraph about his brain worm lmfao
I did not like to think about it just as later I would not like to think about the worm in his brain that other people found so funny. I loved his brain. I hated the idea of an intruder therein. Others thought he was a madman; he was not quite mad the way they thought, but I loved the private ways that he was mad. I loved that he was insatiable in all ways, as if he would swallow up the whole world just to know it better if he could. He made me laugh, but I winced when he joked about the worm. “Baby, don’t worry,” he said. “It’s not a worm.” A doctor he trusted had reviewed the scans of his brain obtained by The New York Times, he said, and concluded that the shadowy figure was likely not a parasite at all. He sighed. It was too late to interfere with what had already vaulted from the sphere of meme to the sphere of screwy legend, but at least I did not have to worry about the worm that was not a worm in his brain.
November 17, 2025 at 2:22 PM
amybrown.xyz
I am sentencing the author to 10 years in horny jail
New York Times reporter says Olivia Nuzzi was "sucking on a vape stick"
November 14, 2025 at 5:47 PM
amybrown.xyz
do I even need to say it
Xzibit from the meme, with the implied caption "yo dawg I heard you like Oreos so I put Oreos in your Oreos"
November 13, 2025 at 10:52 PM
amybrown.xyz
finding out jack dorsey funded a project to revive vine vs finding out new vine doesn't allow AI slop
kombucha girl being like ew and then being like wait a minute
November 13, 2025 at 5:56 PM
amybrown.xyz
is the whole book written like this? this sucks shit
Excerpt from Fetterman's memoir that reads "I've drunk deeply of the venom of both the left and the right. And as a connoisseur, I can confirm that the most poisonous, the bitterest, is from the far left."
November 12, 2025 at 10:30 PM
amybrown.xyz
I cannot overstate to you how devastating the rise of LLMs has been to the world's most annoying city council meeting attendees
Ira S. El Cerrito del Norte (Outer S) · 3 days ago · El Cerrito's Hidden Fee Explosion Neighbors, we need to talk about what just happened to our city fees. After I watched public testimony at last Tuesday’s council meeting and heard what Janos had to say, I decided to ask Claude.ai to do an analysis. Below is what Claude wrote. I have been focusing on El Cerrito’s taxes and promises not kept. I have no expertise in the fee structure and am just copying what Claude wrote. Please point out any errors. I asked Claude AI to analyze El Cerrito's new Master Fee Schedule (effective July 1, 2025), and the results are shocking. While we were focused on the library ballot measure, the City Council quietly approved massive fee increases—some over 700%—that will hit every homeowner, every housing project, and anyone trying to improve their property.
November 12, 2025 at 8:10 PM
amybrown.xyz
first interview question: “how many genders are there? list them”
Job posting for Head of Global Social Media (all genders)
November 12, 2025 at 2:06 PM