Astrid Ophelia
@astridshadowhand.bsky.social
Just a grubby little gremlin
Pure of Heart, Dumb of Ass.
Full time Miscreant.
Pure of Heart, Dumb of Ass.
Full time Miscreant.
Whenever my bestie or I find a cursed meme or something gross we send it to each other. We call it "dropping a dead lizard" like a cat bringing you a "gift" 🤣
April 25, 2025 at 3:34 AM
Whenever my bestie or I find a cursed meme or something gross we send it to each other. We call it "dropping a dead lizard" like a cat bringing you a "gift" 🤣
Such hard work being a puppy, all those naps must be so tiring #sleepypuppy #dogsofbluesky #puppy #happy
April 21, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Such hard work being a puppy, all those naps must be so tiring #sleepypuppy #dogsofbluesky #puppy #happy
I hear yall like puppies over here. Welcome my newest son, Moose. #dogs #ratemydog #puppies #babydoggy
April 21, 2025 at 5:13 AM
I hear yall like puppies over here. Welcome my newest son, Moose. #dogs #ratemydog #puppies #babydoggy
My insurance providers have decided that I only deserve to sleep 15 nights a month. I'm sure that's totally rational and healthy, because my doctor clearly doesn't know what she's talking about and the insurance people must be board certified doctors....right? #insurancefail
March 18, 2025 at 9:04 PM
My insurance providers have decided that I only deserve to sleep 15 nights a month. I'm sure that's totally rational and healthy, because my doctor clearly doesn't know what she's talking about and the insurance people must be board certified doctors....right? #insurancefail
Apparently chainsaws have a warning on them to not try to stop the blade with your hands. At this point I think we should just take the warning labels off of everything and just let nature take over....
March 15, 2025 at 5:31 AM
Apparently chainsaws have a warning on them to not try to stop the blade with your hands. At this point I think we should just take the warning labels off of everything and just let nature take over....
Living in a dystopian nightmare is really killing the vibe. I fail to understand how this has gotten this far and this awful. If there is a God he's probably really really fucking disappointed right now. I know i am.
March 14, 2025 at 5:22 AM
Living in a dystopian nightmare is really killing the vibe. I fail to understand how this has gotten this far and this awful. If there is a God he's probably really really fucking disappointed right now. I know i am.
Life with dogs is funny. Here's an action snap of my dog realizing that I had opened up a snack. #dogs #snackthief #funny
March 12, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Life with dogs is funny. Here's an action snap of my dog realizing that I had opened up a snack. #dogs #snackthief #funny
On the 25th of this month I get to give a victim impact statement against the man who raped me. It's terrifying knowing I will be seeing his face after 15 years, but 14 year old me deserves to have her story told. #survivor #resilience #healing
March 11, 2025 at 9:46 PM
On the 25th of this month I get to give a victim impact statement against the man who raped me. It's terrifying knowing I will be seeing his face after 15 years, but 14 year old me deserves to have her story told. #survivor #resilience #healing
March 10, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Not to brag about being rich, but I just made a recipe that required an egg. #rich #eggprices #satire #broke
March 9, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Not to brag about being rich, but I just made a recipe that required an egg. #rich #eggprices #satire #broke
I don't know ow why, but I am *weirdly* competitive about mariokart despite the fact that I don't ever play with other actual people🤣
March 9, 2025 at 2:43 AM
I don't know ow why, but I am *weirdly* competitive about mariokart despite the fact that I don't ever play with other actual people🤣
I've been fascinated by nuclear physics basically my whole life. But what will always baffle me is we master atomic detonation, and decide, fuck it, let's nuke the fucking moon. We obviously didn't do it but the fact that it was a thought...wow. #halflifehistories #atomic #nuclear
March 8, 2025 at 5:47 AM
I've been fascinated by nuclear physics basically my whole life. But what will always baffle me is we master atomic detonation, and decide, fuck it, let's nuke the fucking moon. We obviously didn't do it but the fact that it was a thought...wow. #halflifehistories #atomic #nuclear
I take Ambien for sleep. Apparently Ambien Astrid wants to become a pirate with a pet squirrel named Sir Nutley. I have *zero* recollection of this conversation happening. 🤣 at least I didn't pull a Roseanne. Ambien does not make you racist, just weird 🤣 #ambien #insomnia #sleeptexting #weird
March 7, 2025 at 3:13 PM
I take Ambien for sleep. Apparently Ambien Astrid wants to become a pirate with a pet squirrel named Sir Nutley. I have *zero* recollection of this conversation happening. 🤣 at least I didn't pull a Roseanne. Ambien does not make you racist, just weird 🤣 #ambien #insomnia #sleeptexting #weird
A L L H A I L T I N Y R A V I O L I S. that is all. Resume normal activites.
March 7, 2025 at 4:48 AM
A L L H A I L T I N Y R A V I O L I S. that is all. Resume normal activites.
Reposted by Astrid Ophelia
One of the funniest (though not ha-ha funny) parts about growing up in a dysfunctional family is how said family will see clear signs of how they fucked you up (i.e. startling at sudden movement)
And then go "why are you like that haha so weird". Who knows. A veritable mystery, truly.
And then go "why are you like that haha so weird". Who knows. A veritable mystery, truly.
March 2, 2025 at 6:12 AM
One of the funniest (though not ha-ha funny) parts about growing up in a dysfunctional family is how said family will see clear signs of how they fucked you up (i.e. startling at sudden movement)
And then go "why are you like that haha so weird". Who knows. A veritable mystery, truly.
And then go "why are you like that haha so weird". Who knows. A veritable mystery, truly.
Does anyone know if Canada needs any weird cryptid creatures to roam the wilderness and be seen *just* enough to cause conspiracy theories but not enough to be confirmed to exist? If yes, where can I send my application?
February 25, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Does anyone know if Canada needs any weird cryptid creatures to roam the wilderness and be seen *just* enough to cause conspiracy theories but not enough to be confirmed to exist? If yes, where can I send my application?
February 24, 2025 at 11:47 AM
A nice side by side. My mom's old work laptop, a compaq armada 1750, and my old work laptop, a Microsoft surface book. I'll give you one guess as to which of these still works 🤣
February 21, 2025 at 5:33 AM
A nice side by side. My mom's old work laptop, a compaq armada 1750, and my old work laptop, a Microsoft surface book. I'll give you one guess as to which of these still works 🤣
I never really thought about how important parallel play was to me, until this week. My dad's taking care of my sister's house while they're on vacation and I'm here at home. It's lonely without his presence and I wonder who misses him more, me or the dog.
February 20, 2025 at 9:07 PM
I never really thought about how important parallel play was to me, until this week. My dad's taking care of my sister's house while they're on vacation and I'm here at home. It's lonely without his presence and I wonder who misses him more, me or the dog.
I changed a car battery all by myself today in below zero weather. I'm proud of me for that.
February 19, 2025 at 9:12 PM
I changed a car battery all by myself today in below zero weather. I'm proud of me for that.
I got grounded by mother nature. How you may ask? Well she decided that it was going to be close to -60⁰f wind chill last night and as a consequence my truck won't start. Guess I'm staying home 🤷🏻♀️
February 18, 2025 at 9:12 PM
I got grounded by mother nature. How you may ask? Well she decided that it was going to be close to -60⁰f wind chill last night and as a consequence my truck won't start. Guess I'm staying home 🤷🏻♀️
This about sums up my day so far.
February 17, 2025 at 12:51 PM
This about sums up my day so far.
Probably would make things better, actually.
Yesterday we had a thunder sleet that covered the ground in ice. Then it warmed up and there was an incredibly thick fog. It made me think about Stephen King’s “The Mist.”
Then it started thinking: If a huge, tentacled Lovecraftian horror emerged from the fog, would it really make things worse?
Then it started thinking: If a huge, tentacled Lovecraftian horror emerged from the fog, would it really make things worse?
February 17, 2025 at 4:58 AM
Probably would make things better, actually.
Reposted by Astrid Ophelia
You ever meet an old hippie who is way, way too focused on hating Nixon? Like, you get where they're coming from, but what about Reagan and Bush and all the other terrible politicians and policies? But I get it now. 100%. I am going to be big mad about these motherfuckers until the day I die.
February 15, 2025 at 7:27 PM
You ever meet an old hippie who is way, way too focused on hating Nixon? Like, you get where they're coming from, but what about Reagan and Bush and all the other terrible politicians and policies? But I get it now. 100%. I am going to be big mad about these motherfuckers until the day I die.
Celebrating valentines in style. #eattherich
February 15, 2025 at 5:49 AM
Celebrating valentines in style. #eattherich