At first I thought he was gonna waste Bridget Everett on a gag but he knew what he was doing lol

If you are currently in the ocean waiting for it to become a battlefield, stay in the ocean.

Casually calling the offsides during a half-watched Jets-Dolphins game is the closest any of us are gonna get to enlightenment

so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding astronauts to the vacuum of space and then his daughter started crying.

Ass Joe

there are cathedrals everywhere for those with eyes to see

Non zero chance you will get to watch him hit a mermaid with the boat

Mt. Vernon