Doktor Funktion
@aylwin.bsky.social
Aspiring dosser / emerging Art abolitionist / Corieltauvi separatist
He/Him
He/Him
Turns out 'there's no such thing as a free lunch' is actually a thing.
February 16, 2026 at 4:34 PM
Turns out 'there's no such thing as a free lunch' is actually a thing.
Incredible to think what could have been saved if we'd all just coughed up a tenner for friends reunited.
February 16, 2026 at 4:17 PM
Incredible to think what could have been saved if we'd all just coughed up a tenner for friends reunited.
I try not to be nostalgic but unfortunately most design is absolute dogshit these days so its hard not to (although same but luckily I can remember fuck all about actually being a teenager).
February 16, 2026 at 3:29 PM
I try not to be nostalgic but unfortunately most design is absolute dogshit these days so its hard not to (although same but luckily I can remember fuck all about actually being a teenager).
Tbf you can just do this about 2020 now.
February 16, 2026 at 3:22 PM
Tbf you can just do this about 2020 now.
Feel like shit just want everything being gaudy as fuck back.
February 16, 2026 at 3:18 PM
Feel like shit just want everything being gaudy as fuck back.
Zero interaction is unfair, there's that pub he visited where the landlord threw him out, and when he ran that deliveroo driver over that one time, can't get much more interacty than that.
February 16, 2026 at 3:03 PM
Zero interaction is unfair, there's that pub he visited where the landlord threw him out, and when he ran that deliveroo driver over that one time, can't get much more interacty than that.
Imagine the tiktok montage his team would put out of this, every shot less than half a second long because that's the average length of time between someone opening the door and telling him to fuck off.
February 16, 2026 at 2:51 PM
Imagine the tiktok montage his team would put out of this, every shot less than half a second long because that's the average length of time between someone opening the door and telling him to fuck off.
I really hope this is to clear the path to Starmer saying the council elections will demonstrate his authority or some shit (obviously no one with any sense whatsoever would do this and yet...)
February 16, 2026 at 2:46 PM
I really hope this is to clear the path to Starmer saying the council elections will demonstrate his authority or some shit (obviously no one with any sense whatsoever would do this and yet...)
Unfortunately (and I say this having also worked in uni admin) the 'I know a lot about one thing and its therefore impossible for me to fuck up or be wrong about anything' type is incredibly fucking common, like easily the majority, even some of the nice ones.
February 16, 2026 at 2:37 PM
Unfortunately (and I say this having also worked in uni admin) the 'I know a lot about one thing and its therefore impossible for me to fuck up or be wrong about anything' type is incredibly fucking common, like easily the majority, even some of the nice ones.
Being real doing one has genuinely left me even less capable in practical life skills and totally fucked my ability to focus on mundane shit which is unfortunate cos that's my job.
February 16, 2026 at 2:26 PM
Being real doing one has genuinely left me even less capable in practical life skills and totally fucked my ability to focus on mundane shit which is unfortunate cos that's my job.
Had this bad boy for school but yeah my sports back was a bhs plastic drawstring thing.
February 16, 2026 at 2:22 PM
Had this bad boy for school but yeah my sports back was a bhs plastic drawstring thing.
I never want to meet this people I wish them nothing but ill. I fully support you having it on your wall, it should be preserved at all costs.
February 16, 2026 at 2:15 PM
I never want to meet this people I wish them nothing but ill. I fully support you having it on your wall, it should be preserved at all costs.
They could have picked literally anyone else and probably got away with it but they had to pick the guy who is famous purely for being an absolute piece of shit.
February 16, 2026 at 2:03 PM
They could have picked literally anyone else and probably got away with it but they had to pick the guy who is famous purely for being an absolute piece of shit.
I don't think I've ever come across someone so out of their depth and so blissfully unaware of it, I'd be more on it than this and I lost a banana in the house this morning.
February 16, 2026 at 1:27 PM
I don't think I've ever come across someone so out of their depth and so blissfully unaware of it, I'd be more on it than this and I lost a banana in the house this morning.
Am fully convinced that it probably rates higher than levels 1-6 tbh.
February 16, 2026 at 12:56 PM
Am fully convinced that it probably rates higher than levels 1-6 tbh.
Why is number 7 forbidden knowledge?
February 16, 2026 at 12:42 PM
Why is number 7 forbidden knowledge?
Imagine how posh your school has to be to let the kids actually use javelins as opposed to just having them slowly rotting in a storage cupboard since the incident of 1976.
February 16, 2026 at 12:29 PM
Imagine how posh your school has to be to let the kids actually use javelins as opposed to just having them slowly rotting in a storage cupboard since the incident of 1976.
You can tell cos they use minuses, you don't measure other things in minuses. You wouldn't tell people there were minus five elephants and expect people to take you seriously but celsiuses are different somehow?
February 16, 2026 at 11:20 AM
You can tell cos they use minuses, you don't measure other things in minuses. You wouldn't tell people there were minus five elephants and expect people to take you seriously but celsiuses are different somehow?
There's only three temperatures: too hot, too cold, and just right and the first two can fuck off and its actually a crime if I ever experience them.
February 16, 2026 at 11:17 AM
There's only three temperatures: too hot, too cold, and just right and the first two can fuck off and its actually a crime if I ever experience them.
I think I could hazard a guess.
February 16, 2026 at 10:58 AM
I think I could hazard a guess.
Reposted by Doktor Funktion
The new school guidance and the changes to trans youth healthcare very much are conversion practices. They are processes set up to deny trans children their ability to transition and deny their identity as trans all set up to get them to desist
February 16, 2026 at 10:51 AM
The new school guidance and the changes to trans youth healthcare very much are conversion practices. They are processes set up to deny trans children their ability to transition and deny their identity as trans all set up to get them to desist