If you see a penny, pick it up (unless it’s covered in feces).
April 8, 2025 at 4:46 PM
If you see a penny, pick it up (unless it’s covered in feces).
I told my neighbor Elon Musk had his family and he ran to the road to check.
March 24, 2025 at 8:09 PM
I told my neighbor Elon Musk had his family and he ran to the road to check.
Reposted by Brandonculus
Reposted by Brandonculus
My feed is increasingly looking like the pre-credit montage of headlines in a post apocalyptic action movie.
March 18, 2025 at 12:59 PM
My feed is increasingly looking like the pre-credit montage of headlines in a post apocalyptic action movie.
You ever disliked someone for looking like somebody else?
March 6, 2025 at 8:50 PM
You ever disliked someone for looking like somebody else?
🎶Working 9 to 1:30
That’s good enough for Brandon
Working 9 to 1:30
Hoping my boss doesn’t notice🎶
That’s good enough for Brandon
Working 9 to 1:30
Hoping my boss doesn’t notice🎶
February 6, 2025 at 9:57 PM
🎶Working 9 to 1:30
That’s good enough for Brandon
Working 9 to 1:30
Hoping my boss doesn’t notice🎶
That’s good enough for Brandon
Working 9 to 1:30
Hoping my boss doesn’t notice🎶
During all of my job interviews, I say, “I alone can fix it!” but secretly I plan on bringing in my buddy Ronnie to do the real work. He’s a cuckoo bird.
February 6, 2025 at 6:41 PM
During all of my job interviews, I say, “I alone can fix it!” but secretly I plan on bringing in my buddy Ronnie to do the real work. He’s a cuckoo bird.
If the aliens invade they’re going to refer to us as “dystopian” and “primitive” and it’s gonna hurt our feelings.
February 4, 2025 at 1:21 PM
If the aliens invade they’re going to refer to us as “dystopian” and “primitive” and it’s gonna hurt our feelings.
TIP: Don’t get baptized by a preacher who asks if you want to “get wet for the Lord.”
February 1, 2025 at 7:40 PM
TIP: Don’t get baptized by a preacher who asks if you want to “get wet for the Lord.”
Reposted by Brandonculus
Based on the presence of Carl Winslow, "Die Hard" is an episode of "Family Matters".
December 25, 2024 at 1:02 AM
Based on the presence of Carl Winslow, "Die Hard" is an episode of "Family Matters".
I’m sure Chuck Norris was tough to work with on Walker, Texas Ranger because nobody ever had the guts to tell him how to pronounce Brazos.
December 28, 2024 at 11:06 PM
I’m sure Chuck Norris was tough to work with on Walker, Texas Ranger because nobody ever had the guts to tell him how to pronounce Brazos.
I don’t think I can believe it’s the end of the world AND care about my credit score, right? RIGHT?!
November 22, 2024 at 9:37 PM
I don’t think I can believe it’s the end of the world AND care about my credit score, right? RIGHT?!