🔔 Alert
AI Weather Manipulation Will Trigger Project Blue Beam

Widespread outages leading to sudden and disconnected lockdown

Come back with a fresh new look and feel!

Project Blue Beam when ?

Feeling tired lately?

How many injections did you get?
#magnesium

Bluesky dead internet theory

Genuinely scaffolded at the news of John Lennon's passing. Good souls die too young. Let shame wash over and prepare for exchanges. Genuinely scaffolded. #BidenCancer

Jay Z friendship for a record deal? Sounds like a P Diddy initiation to me. Don't forget to set your clock back in the fall.

Your call is important to us! A representative will be with you shortly!

It's been 12 minutes. My attention span has been trained to only last for 30 seconds. Why can't I "swipe" and skip this part?

thanksgiving is a holiday commemorating the time randy moss singlehandedly annihilated the dallas cowboys in 1998. it was actually celebrated for hundreds of years prior in anticipation of this prophesied holy event

Just to set the record straight, yeah, I shitpost and act like an idiot on purpose sometimes. But the heart of my message should be obvious.

I cannot be the CEO of my own life with bills to pay. How do I manage being a time seller AND a CEO? Sounds like a very busy schedule. The Motivation AI scheduling application sounds more and more fruitful as each day passes by. If only there was a way to sell the time I spend on Bluesky.

I like to eat Ben and Jerry's The Tonight Dough with Jimmy Fallon. Why is there a Jimmy Kimmel AND a Jimmy Fallon? I cannot even differentiate between the two's content. Can somebody please enlighten me?

8 pm, content the keebler elves aren't real
9:30 pm, three beers and half an edible later, growing worried because i can't prove it
10 pm: distracted by "primitive technology" videos
12:30 am: falling asleep, unsettled by vague recollection of elf fear. somewhere, little footsteps

I thought @official-anonymous.bsky.social was chill. But he has proven himself to be a bot that has migrated from Bird to cause havoc. Why would he randomly bring up dog whistles? We weren't even discussing dogs. The code must be bugged.

The news of Russia Oreshnik weapon system is truly frightening!

Fear not, the thing that fascists love the most is feeding off of fear. If we are scared, they will prevail.

the Texans will win the Texans-Ravens game December 25 2024 due to Beyonce's incantations featured on her song "TEXAS HOLD 'EM." place your bets on Betway ASAP

whenever I see a photograph of Joe Biden, I feel as if he is smiling directly at me. I've always wanted to be close to my grandpa 🦋

also if you bet money on Jake Paul this last Friday, you're also an #oracleinpastlife

had a dream on election night that I saw a wall of Many Bombs on flightradar24. no idea who won though