When my hotel stay is over and they inspect the room with a UV light

The more work experiences I have at different places, the more I learn about the signs of a company in decline

For example:

If you have a complaint against management and the owner suggests you "Get a hobby" (actually verbatim), it may be a sign it's time to go

Husband: hey let’s go to Waffle House!

Me: Okay!

*2 seconds later, stops for coffee—husband orders a whole meal*

Me: …why are you ordering food if we’re going to Waffle House?

Him: Oh, we’re still doing that?

Me: OMG STOP THINKING.

I know that when I don't think, it pisses my wife off. But the rare times when I do think, it seems to piss her off even more because it catches her off guard

Magamind vs the Dem Syndicate

-Get a dog

-Name them "My Virginity"

-Leave the door opened when I go to work so they run away

-Hang up signs in neighborhood stating I lost My Virginity

-Everyone claps 👏

-Accidentally run over My Virginity one night on way home from work

-My Virginity is no longer with us 😔

Listening to warm summery water music ti make it NOT feel like -4 outside today

Gonna journal so hard during lunch break

I’ve got SpongeBob muahuha 😈

He's already a goner. You can tell by his eyes looking 2 different directions. He's too far gone. He had a good run 😞

The people in my life need to know how important they are to me. And that responsibility lies SOLELY on myself

I really hit the jackpot... sitting here watching the best basketball team I've ever rooted for while sitting next to the person I love. It's the small things

#Viktornation ...how we feeling?

My New Years resolution is to focus on my own happiness more. A big part of that has always revolved around the happiness of those around me and trying to positively impact it, but now I'm adding a twist to put more emphasis on myself independent of anyone else

Obi-Wan: Ani
Anakin: Ani is a girl name! What can't you call me something cool, like 'Kin'?!
Obi-Wan: Use the Force Ki—
Anakin: "ANI" IS FINE