Jeffw
@jeffw.bsky.social
Jeffw, actor, illustrator/artist, bad life choice guru, procrastinator, professional idiot & French. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️✊🏾🏴🏴☠️
il/lui
https://ko-fi.com/jeffwni
il/lui
https://ko-fi.com/jeffwni
Pinned
Jeffw
@jeffw.bsky.social
· Jun 4
Son: DAD! There's a mobster under my bed!
Me: Aaw, cute. You mean monster?
Son: No
[from under the bed] "Whatcha gonna do 'bout it big guy?"
Me: Aaw, cute. You mean monster?
Son: No
[from under the bed] "Whatcha gonna do 'bout it big guy?"
Reposted by Jeffw
Bro, do *I* even bench?! I bench! I chair, I couch and sofa, my dude! I sit on all sorts of things!
November 17, 2024 at 1:18 PM
Bro, do *I* even bench?! I bench! I chair, I couch and sofa, my dude! I sit on all sorts of things!
Reposted by Jeffw
Reposted by Jeffw
FACT: In France, croissants are used as boomerangs, to hunt the bigger, more elusive, pain au chocolat.
January 19, 2024 at 8:25 AM
FACT: In France, croissants are used as boomerangs, to hunt the bigger, more elusive, pain au chocolat.
Reposted by Jeffw
I'm your stealth Frenchman. You forget I'm in your time-line and suddenly, BOOM, pain au chocolat.
June 22, 2023 at 4:54 PM
I'm your stealth Frenchman. You forget I'm in your time-line and suddenly, BOOM, pain au chocolat.
"How can I convey that my movie is trash and that I don't care about this project?"
- Have you tried to cast Jared Leto?
"Ooh! Gimme my phone"
- Have you tried to cast Jared Leto?
"Ooh! Gimme my phone"
January 29, 2026 at 12:39 AM
"How can I convey that my movie is trash and that I don't care about this project?"
- Have you tried to cast Jared Leto?
"Ooh! Gimme my phone"
- Have you tried to cast Jared Leto?
"Ooh! Gimme my phone"
Yourself, but as a cartoon
January 29, 2026 at 12:21 AM
Yourself, but as a cartoon
I think about this a lot…
Me: You know, when you have one of those triple sandwiches, do you ever think of the person who gets the other half of your extra sandwich?
Commanding Officer [still pointing at the briefing board]: I meant question about the commando operation
Commanding Officer [still pointing at the briefing board]: I meant question about the commando operation
January 28, 2026 at 12:09 PM
I think about this a lot…
Reposted by Jeffw
Me: You know, when you have one of those triple sandwiches, do you ever think of the person who gets the other half of your extra sandwich?
Commanding Officer [still pointing at the briefing board]: I meant question about the commando operation
Commanding Officer [still pointing at the briefing board]: I meant question about the commando operation
March 2, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Me: You know, when you have one of those triple sandwiches, do you ever think of the person who gets the other half of your extra sandwich?
Commanding Officer [still pointing at the briefing board]: I meant question about the commando operation
Commanding Officer [still pointing at the briefing board]: I meant question about the commando operation
Reposted by Jeffw
[down at the local tavern]
Arthur: I'm the KING, here with my knights and WE WANT OUR REGULAR ROUND TABLE
Server: Sorry, it's been double-booked.
Lancelot: Arthur, you're making a scene…
Arthur: I'm the KING, here with my knights and WE WANT OUR REGULAR ROUND TABLE
Server: Sorry, it's been double-booked.
Lancelot: Arthur, you're making a scene…
October 27, 2023 at 2:45 PM
[down at the local tavern]
Arthur: I'm the KING, here with my knights and WE WANT OUR REGULAR ROUND TABLE
Server: Sorry, it's been double-booked.
Lancelot: Arthur, you're making a scene…
Arthur: I'm the KING, here with my knights and WE WANT OUR REGULAR ROUND TABLE
Server: Sorry, it's been double-booked.
Lancelot: Arthur, you're making a scene…
Reposted by Jeffw
If you feel "hamstrung" by human rights laws and by health and safety laws - you are the person those laws were designed to protect us against. You need to be obstructed by those laws.
Also, she's lying.
Also, she's lying.
Suella Braverman, "There is a very strong case to increase the powers of any immigration enforcement officers that we deploy"
"At the moment they're hamstrung by human rights laws, by health and safety laws, by all sorts of needless and obstructive bureaucracy"
"At the moment they're hamstrung by human rights laws, by health and safety laws, by all sorts of needless and obstructive bureaucracy"
January 27, 2026 at 9:28 PM
If you feel "hamstrung" by human rights laws and by health and safety laws - you are the person those laws were designed to protect us against. You need to be obstructed by those laws.
Also, she's lying.
Also, she's lying.
Reposted by Jeffw
After being held in two of them as a boy, I fought for decades urging America to never again build concentration camps and put human beings in them. It breaks my heart to watch this happen twice now in my own lifetime.
January 27, 2026 at 9:30 PM
After being held in two of them as a boy, I fought for decades urging America to never again build concentration camps and put human beings in them. It breaks my heart to watch this happen twice now in my own lifetime.
Loving the Russian title nickname… 🙄
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c3...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c3...
Live updates: Trump's 'border tsar' arrives in Minneapolis after judge orders ICE chief to appear in court
Minnesota Governor Tim Walz says he has met
www.bbc.co.uk
January 27, 2026 at 7:42 PM
Loving the Russian title nickname… 🙄
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c3...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c3...
Reposted by Jeffw
I CANAE BREATHE!!!
January 27, 2026 at 12:45 AM
I CANAE BREATHE!!!
Reposted by Jeffw
Humanity also isn't mature enough to deal with the social and political upheavals that would result from humans successfully colonizing Mars, proving angels exist, or discovering the Fountain of Youth.
Humanity's not prepared for a lot of shit that isn't happening.
Humanity's not prepared for a lot of shit that isn't happening.
Anthropic CEO Worries Humanity May Not be 'Mature' Enough for Advanced AI
Anthropic CEO Worries Humanity May Not be 'Mature' Enough for Advanced AI
When has that ever stopped us?
gizmodo.com
January 26, 2026 at 10:18 PM
Humanity also isn't mature enough to deal with the social and political upheavals that would result from humans successfully colonizing Mars, proving angels exist, or discovering the Fountain of Youth.
Humanity's not prepared for a lot of shit that isn't happening.
Humanity's not prepared for a lot of shit that isn't happening.
We need a new "In Case of Emergency" because I don't want ICE in my fucking contacts.
January 26, 2026 at 7:33 PM
We need a new "In Case of Emergency" because I don't want ICE in my fucking contacts.
Reposted by Jeffw
[minor floods]
American Preachers: This is GOD punishment for the gays!!
[gigantic snow storm covering half of the US while Donald Trump creates national and international havoc]
Preachers: yeah. It's probably not link to anything
American Preachers: This is GOD punishment for the gays!!
[gigantic snow storm covering half of the US while Donald Trump creates national and international havoc]
Preachers: yeah. It's probably not link to anything
God, send us a sign against Trump
[huge storms]
Just a sign
[east coast freezes]
[floods]
[hell fire]
Any sign
[grand canyon now spells FUCK OFF]
[huge storms]
Just a sign
[east coast freezes]
[floods]
[hell fire]
Any sign
[grand canyon now spells FUCK OFF]
January 26, 2026 at 12:51 PM
[minor floods]
American Preachers: This is GOD punishment for the gays!!
[gigantic snow storm covering half of the US while Donald Trump creates national and international havoc]
Preachers: yeah. It's probably not link to anything
American Preachers: This is GOD punishment for the gays!!
[gigantic snow storm covering half of the US while Donald Trump creates national and international havoc]
Preachers: yeah. It's probably not link to anything
I'm currently sitting in the staff room with three of my colleagues and we are all on our phones. Thank god for technology! Without it, we would've had to talk to each other!
January 26, 2026 at 1:02 PM
I'm currently sitting in the staff room with three of my colleagues and we are all on our phones. Thank god for technology! Without it, we would've had to talk to each other!
[minor floods]
American Preachers: This is GOD punishment for the gays!!
[gigantic snow storm covering half of the US while Donald Trump creates national and international havoc]
Preachers: yeah. It's probably not link to anything
American Preachers: This is GOD punishment for the gays!!
[gigantic snow storm covering half of the US while Donald Trump creates national and international havoc]
Preachers: yeah. It's probably not link to anything
God, send us a sign against Trump
[huge storms]
Just a sign
[east coast freezes]
[floods]
[hell fire]
Any sign
[grand canyon now spells FUCK OFF]
[huge storms]
Just a sign
[east coast freezes]
[floods]
[hell fire]
Any sign
[grand canyon now spells FUCK OFF]
January 26, 2026 at 12:51 PM
[minor floods]
American Preachers: This is GOD punishment for the gays!!
[gigantic snow storm covering half of the US while Donald Trump creates national and international havoc]
Preachers: yeah. It's probably not link to anything
American Preachers: This is GOD punishment for the gays!!
[gigantic snow storm covering half of the US while Donald Trump creates national and international havoc]
Preachers: yeah. It's probably not link to anything
Where do you unplug the news?
January 25, 2026 at 12:44 PM
Where do you unplug the news?
Reposted by Jeffw
You’ve probably heard this story, but it’s fun, so... 56 years ago today M*A*S*H premiered in the US. It cost $3m and made over $80m – and Robert Altman was paid $70,000 to direct it, while his 14-year-old son worked on it for an estimated five minutes and made around $1m 🧵
January 25, 2026 at 11:22 AM
You’ve probably heard this story, but it’s fun, so... 56 years ago today M*A*S*H premiered in the US. It cost $3m and made over $80m – and Robert Altman was paid $70,000 to direct it, while his 14-year-old son worked on it for an estimated five minutes and made around $1m 🧵
The entire world know they're lying.
Evidence shows they're lying.
And yet… nothing.
Off they go with their lies.
We broke the world. We're not having it back as it was.
Evidence shows they're lying.
And yet… nothing.
Off they go with their lies.
We broke the world. We're not having it back as it was.
January 25, 2026 at 12:13 AM
The entire world know they're lying.
Evidence shows they're lying.
And yet… nothing.
Off they go with their lies.
We broke the world. We're not having it back as it was.
Evidence shows they're lying.
And yet… nothing.
Off they go with their lies.
We broke the world. We're not having it back as it was.
Reposted by Jeffw
Im no economist but probably because of all the lying.
January 24, 2026 at 2:06 PM
Im no economist but probably because of all the lying.
Me [introducing]: All my eggs, same basket. Same basket, all my eggs. You guys are going to make a great team!
January 24, 2026 at 10:35 AM
Me [introducing]: All my eggs, same basket. Same basket, all my eggs. You guys are going to make a great team!
Reposted by Jeffw
Doctor: The good news is, this is a surprise birthday party!
Patient: But my birthday's not till next month
Doctor: Which brings me to the bad news
Patient: But my birthday's not till next month
Doctor: Which brings me to the bad news
January 22, 2026 at 4:05 PM
Doctor: The good news is, this is a surprise birthday party!
Patient: But my birthday's not till next month
Doctor: Which brings me to the bad news
Patient: But my birthday's not till next month
Doctor: Which brings me to the bad news
Reposted by Jeffw
fellas, not many guys know this but being kind makes you more handsome.
January 22, 2026 at 10:16 PM
fellas, not many guys know this but being kind makes you more handsome.