𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐨𝐧
@bretbatson.bsky.social
My week beats your year.
𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘺-𝘈𝘵-𝘏𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘋𝘢𝘥
𝙷𝚎/𝙷𝚒𝚖 𝚌𝚒𝚜/𝚑𝚎𝚝𝒮𝓌𝒾𝒻𝓉𝒾ℯ
𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘺-𝘈𝘵-𝘏𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘋𝘢𝘥
𝙷𝚎/𝙷𝚒𝚖 𝚌𝚒𝚜/𝚑𝚎𝚝𝒮𝓌𝒾𝒻𝓉𝒾ℯ
I done already fucked it up!
January 23, 2026 at 1:26 PM
I done already fucked it up!
I don’t normally kick and tell, but some folks have NO damn sense of humor. I got BLOCKED for responding to this with “What’s FB?” and then “What’s Facebook?” when it was clarified.
Can you believe that shit? 🫢
Can you believe that shit? 🫢
January 22, 2026 at 3:20 PM
I don’t normally kick and tell, but some folks have NO damn sense of humor. I got BLOCKED for responding to this with “What’s FB?” and then “What’s Facebook?” when it was clarified.
Can you believe that shit? 🫢
Can you believe that shit? 🫢
I was already feeling hella old while playing this 40 year old PC game, so I 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 didn’t need 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀.
![[Antiquated computer graphics depict a moonlit graveyard.]
Command: READ GRAVE
It says ‘Here Lies BRET’…
and it has today’s date.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:i7tfw64az7hsyntibkiwvkhc/bafkreihv27kaxcn2dzo3q22j4w7wrnugj7czl6wipsitlrqkxglounwfuy@jpeg)
January 19, 2026 at 6:08 PM
I was already feeling hella old while playing this 40 year old PC game, so I 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 didn’t need 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀.
I experienced ‘𝟐𝟖 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐓𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞’ last night and will be seeing it again tomorrow.
Yes, it’s 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 good.
#28YearsLaterTheBoneTemple
#28YearsLater #TheBoneTemple
Yes, it’s 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 good.
#28YearsLaterTheBoneTemple
#28YearsLater #TheBoneTemple
January 17, 2026 at 4:20 PM
I experienced ‘𝟐𝟖 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐓𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞’ last night and will be seeing it again tomorrow.
Yes, it’s 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 good.
#28YearsLaterTheBoneTemple
#28YearsLater #TheBoneTemple
Yes, it’s 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 good.
#28YearsLaterTheBoneTemple
#28YearsLater #TheBoneTemple
John Scalzi is blocking me, so if you guys are trash talking me, I’m missing all the fun. 😜
January 15, 2026 at 9:17 PM
John Scalzi is blocking me, so if you guys are trash talking me, I’m missing all the fun. 😜
“I just really need to focus on my art right now, mom.”
January 15, 2026 at 2:10 PM
“I just really need to focus on my art right now, mom.”
I you decided to listen to ‘Thriller’ today, it would be like listening to music from 1938 when ‘Thriller’ was a new album.
How old are we feeling?
How old are we feeling?
January 13, 2026 at 2:05 PM
I you decided to listen to ‘Thriller’ today, it would be like listening to music from 1938 when ‘Thriller’ was a new album.
How old are we feeling?
How old are we feeling?
No offense, and I can’t stress this enough, no offense WHATSOEVER to Alexander Skarsgård or Cardi B, but I can NOT believe that Lorne Michaels and the team at ‘Saturday Night Live’ are treating the 1,000th(!) episode like it’s just any other episode. What are they thinking?
#SaturdayNightLive #SNL
#SaturdayNightLive #SNL
January 7, 2026 at 10:30 PM
No offense, and I can’t stress this enough, no offense WHATSOEVER to Alexander Skarsgård or Cardi B, but I can NOT believe that Lorne Michaels and the team at ‘Saturday Night Live’ are treating the 1,000th(!) episode like it’s just any other episode. What are they thinking?
#SaturdayNightLive #SNL
#SaturdayNightLive #SNL
Sprout was an irksome little bitch.
Who’s with me?
Who’s with me?
January 5, 2026 at 2:20 PM
Sprout was an irksome little bitch.
Who’s with me?
Who’s with me?
⭐️ Reskeet with Your Favorite Album, Film, Song, and Steaming Series of 2025 ⭐️
Favorite Album:
‘The Life Of A Showgirl’ by Taylor Swift
Favorite Film:
‘Hamnet’ directed by Chloé Zhao
Favorite Song:
‘Father Figure’ by Taylor Swift
Favorite Streaming Series:
‘The Pitt: Season One’ on HBO Max
Favorite Album:
‘The Life Of A Showgirl’ by Taylor Swift
Favorite Film:
‘Hamnet’ directed by Chloé Zhao
Favorite Song:
‘Father Figure’ by Taylor Swift
Favorite Streaming Series:
‘The Pitt: Season One’ on HBO Max
January 3, 2026 at 12:05 AM
⭐️ Reskeet with Your Favorite Album, Film, Song, and Steaming Series of 2025 ⭐️
Favorite Album:
‘The Life Of A Showgirl’ by Taylor Swift
Favorite Film:
‘Hamnet’ directed by Chloé Zhao
Favorite Song:
‘Father Figure’ by Taylor Swift
Favorite Streaming Series:
‘The Pitt: Season One’ on HBO Max
Favorite Album:
‘The Life Of A Showgirl’ by Taylor Swift
Favorite Film:
‘Hamnet’ directed by Chloé Zhao
Favorite Song:
‘Father Figure’ by Taylor Swift
Favorite Streaming Series:
‘The Pitt: Season One’ on HBO Max
🥳 Sending you all the very warmest wishes for the new year. 🎉
December 31, 2025 at 8:00 PM
🥳 Sending you all the very warmest wishes for the new year. 🎉
Here we see Amanda Seyfried and Sydney Sweeney both thinking about what they will look like in 20 years.
December 31, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Here we see Amanda Seyfried and Sydney Sweeney both thinking about what they will look like in 20 years.
No problem! I’ll provide the cover art. No edit necessary. 😉
December 27, 2025 at 2:44 AM
No problem! I’ll provide the cover art. No edit necessary. 😉
December 25, 2025 at 1:30 PM
NGL This “redacted” version of ‘Home Alone 2: Lost in New York’ on TNT is the bees knees.
December 22, 2025 at 1:20 AM
NGL This “redacted” version of ‘Home Alone 2: Lost in New York’ on TNT is the bees knees.
Put that creepy fucker away!
December 17, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Put that creepy fucker away!
It would appear that God only has a two minute lead on the Devil. 😳
December 17, 2025 at 8:48 PM
It would appear that God only has a two minute lead on the Devil. 😳
🎶 He’s dreaming of a 𝒲ℋℐ𝒯ℰ𝒮 𝒪𝒩ℒ𝒴 Christmas. Just like the ones he used to know. 🎶
December 17, 2025 at 2:30 PM
🎶 He’s dreaming of a 𝒲ℋℐ𝒯ℰ𝒮 𝒪𝒩ℒ𝒴 Christmas. Just like the ones he used to know. 🎶
