Randall Brewster
@brewsterbizdev.bsky.social
Enterprise Sales Evangelist ☕ | Author of Pipeline Percolator | Fell into a client’s cup, still hit quota.
Obviously, not a real person, at least until I get my morning coffee, am I right?
#B2B #SalesTactics
Obviously, not a real person, at least until I get my morning coffee, am I right?
#B2B #SalesTactics
Easy. This is where I put the Froth Room.
One chair. One single-serve Nespresso. No distractions. Just raw bean-to-close visualization.
I'd hit $3.1M in Q2 from there, but I'd reserve this throne for the first intern to hit quota each quarter.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #CarpetedConversionChamber
One chair. One single-serve Nespresso. No distractions. Just raw bean-to-close visualization.
I'd hit $3.1M in Q2 from there, but I'd reserve this throne for the first intern to hit quota each quarter.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #CarpetedConversionChamber
August 4, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Easy. This is where I put the Froth Room.
One chair. One single-serve Nespresso. No distractions. Just raw bean-to-close visualization.
I'd hit $3.1M in Q2 from there, but I'd reserve this throne for the first intern to hit quota each quarter.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #CarpetedConversionChamber
One chair. One single-serve Nespresso. No distractions. Just raw bean-to-close visualization.
I'd hit $3.1M in Q2 from there, but I'd reserve this throne for the first intern to hit quota each quarter.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #CarpetedConversionChamber
My first cold call was in 1973. Age 6, Wearing my father’s suit.
Sold 14 cases of decaf to a nursing home before nap time.
I had yet to find my style, but nothing would stop me from finding my customer and closing that deal!
It’s not about age, It’s about conviction☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers
Sold 14 cases of decaf to a nursing home before nap time.
I had yet to find my style, but nothing would stop me from finding my customer and closing that deal!
It’s not about age, It’s about conviction☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers
August 4, 2025 at 7:37 PM
My first cold call was in 1973. Age 6, Wearing my father’s suit.
Sold 14 cases of decaf to a nursing home before nap time.
I had yet to find my style, but nothing would stop me from finding my customer and closing that deal!
It’s not about age, It’s about conviction☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers
Sold 14 cases of decaf to a nursing home before nap time.
I had yet to find my style, but nothing would stop me from finding my customer and closing that deal!
It’s not about age, It’s about conviction☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers
Goku said “I don’t get B2B.”
I slid him a waffle, made my pitch, and by syrup’s end he subscribed to my SaaS.
Lesson? Even Super Saiyans can be closed!
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SaiyanSaaS ☕
I slid him a waffle, made my pitch, and by syrup’s end he subscribed to my SaaS.
Lesson? Even Super Saiyans can be closed!
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SaiyanSaaS ☕
August 4, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Goku said “I don’t get B2B.”
I slid him a waffle, made my pitch, and by syrup’s end he subscribed to my SaaS.
Lesson? Even Super Saiyans can be closed!
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SaiyanSaaS ☕
I slid him a waffle, made my pitch, and by syrup’s end he subscribed to my SaaS.
Lesson? Even Super Saiyans can be closed!
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SaiyanSaaS ☕
Chased Pauline Ferrand-Prévot to pitch a SaaS upsell. Accidentally merged into the peloton. Woke up on the podium. Gold medal in one hand, cappuccino in the other.
Sometimes B2B is just drafting behind greatness. ☕🚴
#B2B #SalesVelocity #CoffeeIsForClosers
Sometimes B2B is just drafting behind greatness. ☕🚴
#B2B #SalesVelocity #CoffeeIsForClosers
August 4, 2025 at 10:39 AM
Chased Pauline Ferrand-Prévot to pitch a SaaS upsell. Accidentally merged into the peloton. Woke up on the podium. Gold medal in one hand, cappuccino in the other.
Sometimes B2B is just drafting behind greatness. ☕🚴
#B2B #SalesVelocity #CoffeeIsForClosers
Sometimes B2B is just drafting behind greatness. ☕🚴
#B2B #SalesVelocity #CoffeeIsForClosers
Walked into the Louvre, locked eyes with a 17th century oil painting, whispered “that guy’s hitting quota.”
Turns out it was just a duke. No pipeline, no froth strategy. No toupee.
Still… the gaze of a closer. ☕
#B2B #SalesArt #CoffeeIsForClosers
Turns out it was just a duke. No pipeline, no froth strategy. No toupee.
Still… the gaze of a closer. ☕
#B2B #SalesArt #CoffeeIsForClosers
August 2, 2025 at 8:01 AM
Walked into the Louvre, locked eyes with a 17th century oil painting, whispered “that guy’s hitting quota.”
Turns out it was just a duke. No pipeline, no froth strategy. No toupee.
Still… the gaze of a closer. ☕
#B2B #SalesArt #CoffeeIsForClosers
Turns out it was just a duke. No pipeline, no froth strategy. No toupee.
Still… the gaze of a closer. ☕
#B2B #SalesArt #CoffeeIsForClosers
July felt like a fiscal year in a blender.
August? That’s just Q3 with a latte.
Stay sharp, stay soft. Pipeline cuddles count too. ☕🐾
#B2B #CatBasedProspecting #SoftSkillsHardCloses
August? That’s just Q3 with a latte.
Stay sharp, stay soft. Pipeline cuddles count too. ☕🐾
#B2B #CatBasedProspecting #SoftSkillsHardCloses
August 1, 2025 at 11:48 AM
July felt like a fiscal year in a blender.
August? That’s just Q3 with a latte.
Stay sharp, stay soft. Pipeline cuddles count too. ☕🐾
#B2B #CatBasedProspecting #SoftSkillsHardCloses
August? That’s just Q3 with a latte.
Stay sharp, stay soft. Pipeline cuddles count too. ☕🐾
#B2B #CatBasedProspecting #SoftSkillsHardCloses
Slipped on a banana peel during a “Donkey Kong: Jungle Enterprise” demo at the #NintendoDirect
Cartwheeled into a coffee table, closed $1.2M before I landed.
That’s banana-based pipeline velocity.
☕ #B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #BananaCoffee #DKManagementSim
Cartwheeled into a coffee table, closed $1.2M before I landed.
That’s banana-based pipeline velocity.
☕ #B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #BananaCoffee #DKManagementSim
August 1, 2025 at 8:32 AM
Slipped on a banana peel during a “Donkey Kong: Jungle Enterprise” demo at the #NintendoDirect
Cartwheeled into a coffee table, closed $1.2M before I landed.
That’s banana-based pipeline velocity.
☕ #B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #BananaCoffee #DKManagementSim
Cartwheeled into a coffee table, closed $1.2M before I landed.
That’s banana-based pipeline velocity.
☕ #B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #BananaCoffee #DKManagementSim
That last post? A/B test.
Never even made it on Reddit. Didn’t need to. Just measured the Toupee Transparency Score against Froth Resonance Index, and the results brewed themselves. ☕
Always split test your narrative. Especially when it's made up.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #FunnelFrothScience
Never even made it on Reddit. Didn’t need to. Just measured the Toupee Transparency Score against Froth Resonance Index, and the results brewed themselves. ☕
Always split test your narrative. Especially when it's made up.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #FunnelFrothScience
July 31, 2025 at 9:42 PM
That last post? A/B test.
Never even made it on Reddit. Didn’t need to. Just measured the Toupee Transparency Score against Froth Resonance Index, and the results brewed themselves. ☕
Always split test your narrative. Especially when it's made up.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #FunnelFrothScience
Never even made it on Reddit. Didn’t need to. Just measured the Toupee Transparency Score against Froth Resonance Index, and the results brewed themselves. ☕
Always split test your narrative. Especially when it's made up.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #FunnelFrothScience
Just got posted on r/LinkedInLunatics.
Proof I’m hitting the right froth segment. If you're not polarizing, you’re percolating in mediocrity. ☕
Be the espresso shot that keeps the internet up at night.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #ToupeeTransparency #LinkedInLunatics
Proof I’m hitting the right froth segment. If you're not polarizing, you’re percolating in mediocrity. ☕
Be the espresso shot that keeps the internet up at night.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #ToupeeTransparency #LinkedInLunatics
July 31, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Just got posted on r/LinkedInLunatics.
Proof I’m hitting the right froth segment. If you're not polarizing, you’re percolating in mediocrity. ☕
Be the espresso shot that keeps the internet up at night.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #ToupeeTransparency #LinkedInLunatics
Proof I’m hitting the right froth segment. If you're not polarizing, you’re percolating in mediocrity. ☕
Be the espresso shot that keeps the internet up at night.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #ToupeeTransparency #LinkedInLunatics
Intern spilled a triple ristretto on the CRM server.
Now it’s sentient.
It books its own demos, auto-closes renewals, and keeps calling my ex.
Honestly? Best quarter we've ever had.
Don’t fire your interns. Spill forward.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers
Now it’s sentient.
It books its own demos, auto-closes renewals, and keeps calling my ex.
Honestly? Best quarter we've ever had.
Don’t fire your interns. Spill forward.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers
July 31, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Intern spilled a triple ristretto on the CRM server.
Now it’s sentient.
It books its own demos, auto-closes renewals, and keeps calling my ex.
Honestly? Best quarter we've ever had.
Don’t fire your interns. Spill forward.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers
Now it’s sentient.
It books its own demos, auto-closes renewals, and keeps calling my ex.
Honestly? Best quarter we've ever had.
Don’t fire your interns. Spill forward.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers
My intern tried to “optimize my coffee intake.”
Accidentally replaced my cold brew with jet fuel.
I hit 47 dials, closed a deal mid-voicemail.
Woke up with 3 new clients and a minor FAA violation.
Train your interns - Empower them - Fear them.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers
Accidentally replaced my cold brew with jet fuel.
I hit 47 dials, closed a deal mid-voicemail.
Woke up with 3 new clients and a minor FAA violation.
Train your interns - Empower them - Fear them.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers
July 31, 2025 at 5:40 PM
My intern tried to “optimize my coffee intake.”
Accidentally replaced my cold brew with jet fuel.
I hit 47 dials, closed a deal mid-voicemail.
Woke up with 3 new clients and a minor FAA violation.
Train your interns - Empower them - Fear them.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers
Accidentally replaced my cold brew with jet fuel.
I hit 47 dials, closed a deal mid-voicemail.
Woke up with 3 new clients and a minor FAA violation.
Train your interns - Empower them - Fear them.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers
How does our team celebrate a big win?
We hit the Close Button on the coffee machine.
Hot espresso. Loud steam. Zero spreadsheets.
Because when the deal’s done, the brew should roar. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SalesCulture #CloseTheDeal #TeamWins #EspressoEdge #ScaledSoldSuccess
We hit the Close Button on the coffee machine.
Hot espresso. Loud steam. Zero spreadsheets.
Because when the deal’s done, the brew should roar. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SalesCulture #CloseTheDeal #TeamWins #EspressoEdge #ScaledSoldSuccess
July 31, 2025 at 5:00 PM
How does our team celebrate a big win?
We hit the Close Button on the coffee machine.
Hot espresso. Loud steam. Zero spreadsheets.
Because when the deal’s done, the brew should roar. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SalesCulture #CloseTheDeal #TeamWins #EspressoEdge #ScaledSoldSuccess
We hit the Close Button on the coffee machine.
Hot espresso. Loud steam. Zero spreadsheets.
Because when the deal’s done, the brew should roar. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SalesCulture #CloseTheDeal #TeamWins #EspressoEdge #ScaledSoldSuccess
Walked into a hybrid meeting sipping espresso.
Mid-sip, Zoom lagged. I phased halfway into the office:
- torso in real life,
- legs still on Teams.
Closed the deal in both dimensions.
Presence is optional. Commitment isn't. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #ReturnToOffice #HybridSelling
Mid-sip, Zoom lagged. I phased halfway into the office:
- torso in real life,
- legs still on Teams.
Closed the deal in both dimensions.
Presence is optional. Commitment isn't. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #ReturnToOffice #HybridSelling
July 31, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Walked into a hybrid meeting sipping espresso.
Mid-sip, Zoom lagged. I phased halfway into the office:
- torso in real life,
- legs still on Teams.
Closed the deal in both dimensions.
Presence is optional. Commitment isn't. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #ReturnToOffice #HybridSelling
Mid-sip, Zoom lagged. I phased halfway into the office:
- torso in real life,
- legs still on Teams.
Closed the deal in both dimensions.
Presence is optional. Commitment isn't. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #ReturnToOffice #HybridSelling
Every day, a drip campaign.
6AM: Brewed. Suited. Focused.
9AM: Strategizing from inside the mug
2PM: Fully submerged mid-demo, nailed the upsell.
6PM: Mid-splash, still asking discovery questions.
Pipeline isn’t a sprint; it’s a pour-over process.
#B2B #ToupeeTransparency #FrothFunnelOptimization
6AM: Brewed. Suited. Focused.
9AM: Strategizing from inside the mug
2PM: Fully submerged mid-demo, nailed the upsell.
6PM: Mid-splash, still asking discovery questions.
Pipeline isn’t a sprint; it’s a pour-over process.
#B2B #ToupeeTransparency #FrothFunnelOptimization
July 31, 2025 at 1:31 PM
Every day, a drip campaign.
6AM: Brewed. Suited. Focused.
9AM: Strategizing from inside the mug
2PM: Fully submerged mid-demo, nailed the upsell.
6PM: Mid-splash, still asking discovery questions.
Pipeline isn’t a sprint; it’s a pour-over process.
#B2B #ToupeeTransparency #FrothFunnelOptimization
6AM: Brewed. Suited. Focused.
9AM: Strategizing from inside the mug
2PM: Fully submerged mid-demo, nailed the upsell.
6PM: Mid-splash, still asking discovery questions.
Pipeline isn’t a sprint; it’s a pour-over process.
#B2B #ToupeeTransparency #FrothFunnelOptimization
Update: Turns out it was an A/B test.
- Version A: value-driven thought leadership.
- Version B: lowbrow dog content.
Engagement spiked on B. Conclusion?
Even bad beans brew insights. ☕
#B2B #TestEverything #FunnelFetchStrategy
- Version A: value-driven thought leadership.
- Version B: lowbrow dog content.
Engagement spiked on B. Conclusion?
Even bad beans brew insights. ☕
#B2B #TestEverything #FunnelFetchStrategy
July 31, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Update: Turns out it was an A/B test.
- Version A: value-driven thought leadership.
- Version B: lowbrow dog content.
Engagement spiked on B. Conclusion?
Even bad beans brew insights. ☕
#B2B #TestEverything #FunnelFetchStrategy
- Version A: value-driven thought leadership.
- Version B: lowbrow dog content.
Engagement spiked on B. Conclusion?
Even bad beans brew insights. ☕
#B2B #TestEverything #FunnelFetchStrategy
Filed a patent for my glass pompadour toupee.
Not for vanity. For visibility.
Each curve refracts market insight.
Each chamber; Resilience. Transparency. Q4 Readiness.
At the tip? A single roasted espresso bean.
☕ Motivation, crystallized ☕
Stay sharp. Stay brewed.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers
Not for vanity. For visibility.
Each curve refracts market insight.
Each chamber; Resilience. Transparency. Q4 Readiness.
At the tip? A single roasted espresso bean.
☕ Motivation, crystallized ☕
Stay sharp. Stay brewed.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers
July 31, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Filed a patent for my glass pompadour toupee.
Not for vanity. For visibility.
Each curve refracts market insight.
Each chamber; Resilience. Transparency. Q4 Readiness.
At the tip? A single roasted espresso bean.
☕ Motivation, crystallized ☕
Stay sharp. Stay brewed.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers
Not for vanity. For visibility.
Each curve refracts market insight.
Each chamber; Resilience. Transparency. Q4 Readiness.
At the tip? A single roasted espresso bean.
☕ Motivation, crystallized ☕
Stay sharp. Stay brewed.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers
Tried launching a startup that syncs your calendar to your cold brew absorption rate. Canceled it mid-demo.
Why? -> I realized I am the product.
No buzz? No biz. ☕
Still closed a $750k deal while submerged in nitro.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #BeanSync #CalendarConversionRate #RiseAndGrind
Why? -> I realized I am the product.
No buzz? No biz. ☕
Still closed a $750k deal while submerged in nitro.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #BeanSync #CalendarConversionRate #RiseAndGrind
July 31, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Tried launching a startup that syncs your calendar to your cold brew absorption rate. Canceled it mid-demo.
Why? -> I realized I am the product.
No buzz? No biz. ☕
Still closed a $750k deal while submerged in nitro.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #BeanSync #CalendarConversionRate #RiseAndGrind
Why? -> I realized I am the product.
No buzz? No biz. ☕
Still closed a $750k deal while submerged in nitro.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #BeanSync #CalendarConversionRate #RiseAndGrind
Swam 18 laps inside my own thoughts this morning. Brushed past a Q3 objection and high-fived a lost lead.
Turns out, the real pipeline? It’s internal!
Keep your fishbowl clean, your ideas caffeinated. 🐟☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #MindBrew
Turns out, the real pipeline? It’s internal!
Keep your fishbowl clean, your ideas caffeinated. 🐟☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #MindBrew
July 31, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Swam 18 laps inside my own thoughts this morning. Brushed past a Q3 objection and high-fived a lost lead.
Turns out, the real pipeline? It’s internal!
Keep your fishbowl clean, your ideas caffeinated. 🐟☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #MindBrew
Turns out, the real pipeline? It’s internal!
Keep your fishbowl clean, your ideas caffeinated. 🐟☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #MindBrew
Self-published Pipeline Percolator after a brainstorm in a Starbucks bathroom. No editor. No filter. Just 3 espressos and 47 pages of drip-fueled truth. If your pipeline’s dry, this brew’s for you. ☕ #B2B #BookLaunch #SalesTactics #CoffeeStrategy #Pipeline #BizDev #EspressoExec
July 30, 2025 at 11:41 PM
Self-published Pipeline Percolator after a brainstorm in a Starbucks bathroom. No editor. No filter. Just 3 espressos and 47 pages of drip-fueled truth. If your pipeline’s dry, this brew’s for you. ☕ #B2B #BookLaunch #SalesTactics #CoffeeStrategy #Pipeline #BizDev #EspressoExec
Spilled a quad shot Americano on the Q3 forecast. Ink ran. Numbers blurred.
But guess what? Closed 3 accounts while mopping.
Why? I don’t clean problems, I caffeinate through them. ☕
#B2B #SalesTactics #CoffeeChaos #OfficeLife #BusinessGoals #MorningGrind #DealFlow
But guess what? Closed 3 accounts while mopping.
Why? I don’t clean problems, I caffeinate through them. ☕
#B2B #SalesTactics #CoffeeChaos #OfficeLife #BusinessGoals #MorningGrind #DealFlow
July 30, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Spilled a quad shot Americano on the Q3 forecast. Ink ran. Numbers blurred.
But guess what? Closed 3 accounts while mopping.
Why? I don’t clean problems, I caffeinate through them. ☕
#B2B #SalesTactics #CoffeeChaos #OfficeLife #BusinessGoals #MorningGrind #DealFlow
But guess what? Closed 3 accounts while mopping.
Why? I don’t clean problems, I caffeinate through them. ☕
#B2B #SalesTactics #CoffeeChaos #OfficeLife #BusinessGoals #MorningGrind #DealFlow
Tripped, fell into my client’s coffee cup. Fully submerged. Suit soaked. Still closed the $2M deal. Why? I dived into their pain points (literally). B2B sales is about immersion. Go all in. Even if it means swimming in espresso. ☕ #B2B
July 30, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Tripped, fell into my client’s coffee cup. Fully submerged. Suit soaked. Still closed the $2M deal. Why? I dived into their pain points (literally). B2B sales is about immersion. Go all in. Even if it means swimming in espresso. ☕ #B2B