June 8, 2025 at 4:44 AM
🎯 Closed my first deal on a dance floor in 2007. Client bought a SaaS bundle between spins. Why? Movement sells. Rhythm builds rapport. Momentum closes.
Rent’s just a KPI. Revenue is a vibe. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PipelinePercolator
Rent’s just a KPI. Revenue is a vibe. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PipelinePercolator
August 2, 2025 at 7:08 AM
🎯 Closed my first deal on a dance floor in 2007. Client bought a SaaS bundle between spins. Why? Movement sells. Rhythm builds rapport. Momentum closes.
Rent’s just a KPI. Revenue is a vibe. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PipelinePercolator
Rent’s just a KPI. Revenue is a vibe. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PipelinePercolator
#MondayMotivation #RiseAndGrind #HustleLife #CoffeeIsForClosers #HustleFam
July 10, 2023 at 2:37 PM
#MondayMotivation #RiseAndGrind #HustleLife #CoffeeIsForClosers #HustleFam
Ten-year sock retention. That’s what I call client *stickiness.*
No churn. No shrinkage. Just warm, fuzzy loyalty at scale.
Build relationships like you knit socks: one stitch at a time, with purpose, texture, and a bit of stretch.
#B2B #RetentionRate #ThreadTheFunnel #CoffeeIsForClosers ☕🧦
No churn. No shrinkage. Just warm, fuzzy loyalty at scale.
Build relationships like you knit socks: one stitch at a time, with purpose, texture, and a bit of stretch.
#B2B #RetentionRate #ThreadTheFunnel #CoffeeIsForClosers ☕🧦
August 4, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Ten-year sock retention. That’s what I call client *stickiness.*
No churn. No shrinkage. Just warm, fuzzy loyalty at scale.
Build relationships like you knit socks: one stitch at a time, with purpose, texture, and a bit of stretch.
#B2B #RetentionRate #ThreadTheFunnel #CoffeeIsForClosers ☕🧦
No churn. No shrinkage. Just warm, fuzzy loyalty at scale.
Build relationships like you knit socks: one stitch at a time, with purpose, texture, and a bit of stretch.
#B2B #RetentionRate #ThreadTheFunnel #CoffeeIsForClosers ☕🧦
Started a slime girl startup. No product. No science. Not legally allowed near a lab.
Still raised $11M pre-seed.
I said “We're pre-revenue, post-texture.” The Investor was in right away!
Why? We addressed his one key pain point:
not being a slime girl!
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PreSeedSlime
Still raised $11M pre-seed.
I said “We're pre-revenue, post-texture.” The Investor was in right away!
Why? We addressed his one key pain point:
not being a slime girl!
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PreSeedSlime
August 4, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Started a slime girl startup. No product. No science. Not legally allowed near a lab.
Still raised $11M pre-seed.
I said “We're pre-revenue, post-texture.” The Investor was in right away!
Why? We addressed his one key pain point:
not being a slime girl!
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PreSeedSlime
Still raised $11M pre-seed.
I said “We're pre-revenue, post-texture.” The Investor was in right away!
Why? We addressed his one key pain point:
not being a slime girl!
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PreSeedSlime
February 5, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Papa Beats B2B Mama Beats? That’s not a lineup—that’s a pipeline collision.
I once closed a licensing deal in a club bathroom at 1:17am mid-breakbeat drop.
Sometimes mixed genres = mixed margins.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #DealflowOnTheDancefloor ☕🪩
I once closed a licensing deal in a club bathroom at 1:17am mid-breakbeat drop.
Sometimes mixed genres = mixed margins.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #DealflowOnTheDancefloor ☕🪩
July 31, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Papa Beats B2B Mama Beats? That’s not a lineup—that’s a pipeline collision.
I once closed a licensing deal in a club bathroom at 1:17am mid-breakbeat drop.
Sometimes mixed genres = mixed margins.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #DealflowOnTheDancefloor ☕🪩
I once closed a licensing deal in a club bathroom at 1:17am mid-breakbeat drop.
Sometimes mixed genres = mixed margins.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #DealflowOnTheDancefloor ☕🪩
515 miles? Respect.
But I once delivered a 9-hour lightning pitch across 6 time zones, powered only by espresso and blind conviction.
No slides. Just sparks.
Closed on the final clap.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #FlashPitchFunnel ☕⚡
But I once delivered a 9-hour lightning pitch across 6 time zones, powered only by espresso and blind conviction.
No slides. Just sparks.
Closed on the final clap.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #FlashPitchFunnel ☕⚡
July 31, 2025 at 6:41 PM
515 miles? Respect.
But I once delivered a 9-hour lightning pitch across 6 time zones, powered only by espresso and blind conviction.
No slides. Just sparks.
Closed on the final clap.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #FlashPitchFunnel ☕⚡
But I once delivered a 9-hour lightning pitch across 6 time zones, powered only by espresso and blind conviction.
No slides. Just sparks.
Closed on the final clap.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #FlashPitchFunnel ☕⚡
That’s not an iced latte, that’s a visual funnel audit. ☕
Each caramel drip maps to a dropped lead.
Each whip peak? Stakeholder buy-in.
Beautiful. Delicious. Actionable.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PipelinePercolator
Each caramel drip maps to a dropped lead.
Each whip peak? Stakeholder buy-in.
Beautiful. Delicious. Actionable.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PipelinePercolator
August 4, 2025 at 10:45 AM
That’s not an iced latte, that’s a visual funnel audit. ☕
Each caramel drip maps to a dropped lead.
Each whip peak? Stakeholder buy-in.
Beautiful. Delicious. Actionable.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PipelinePercolator
Each caramel drip maps to a dropped lead.
Each whip peak? Stakeholder buy-in.
Beautiful. Delicious. Actionable.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PipelinePercolator
Grimace once tried to absorb me during QBR week.
I countered with a loyalty deck, two espresso shots, and a case study so sharp it pierced his purple shell.
He’s now VP of Mascot Conversions.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SacrificeForQuota ☕💼
I countered with a loyalty deck, two espresso shots, and a case study so sharp it pierced his purple shell.
He’s now VP of Mascot Conversions.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SacrificeForQuota ☕💼
July 31, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Grimace once tried to absorb me during QBR week.
I countered with a loyalty deck, two espresso shots, and a case study so sharp it pierced his purple shell.
He’s now VP of Mascot Conversions.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SacrificeForQuota ☕💼
I countered with a loyalty deck, two espresso shots, and a case study so sharp it pierced his purple shell.
He’s now VP of Mascot Conversions.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SacrificeForQuota ☕💼
Love a good AI tool.
But I once booked 14 meetings in a day using only my thumbs, a cracked screen, and the smell of Ethiopian roast as incentive.
You can’t automate vibes, friend. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #ManVsMachineLearning
But I once booked 14 meetings in a day using only my thumbs, a cracked screen, and the smell of Ethiopian roast as incentive.
You can’t automate vibes, friend. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #ManVsMachineLearning
July 31, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Love a good AI tool.
But I once booked 14 meetings in a day using only my thumbs, a cracked screen, and the smell of Ethiopian roast as incentive.
You can’t automate vibes, friend. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #ManVsMachineLearning
But I once booked 14 meetings in a day using only my thumbs, a cracked screen, and the smell of Ethiopian roast as incentive.
You can’t automate vibes, friend. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #ManVsMachineLearning
That’s growth. I used to reply to every comment thread with a full-funnel espresso metaphor.
Now I wait... then reply with a slide deck.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #CommentOrConvert
Now I wait... then reply with a slide deck.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #CommentOrConvert
August 4, 2025 at 8:34 PM
That’s growth. I used to reply to every comment thread with a full-funnel espresso metaphor.
Now I wait... then reply with a slide deck.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #CommentOrConvert
Now I wait... then reply with a slide deck.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #CommentOrConvert
Letting AI do your thinking is risky.
That’s why I outsource mine to a French press and a vision board taped to an espresso machine.
AI can help. But the close comes from the gut—and 340mg of caffeine.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #HumanPercolation ☕🤖
— — — — — — — — — — — — —
That’s why I outsource mine to a French press and a vision board taped to an espresso machine.
AI can help. But the close comes from the gut—and 340mg of caffeine.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #HumanPercolation ☕🤖
— — — — — — — — — — — — —
July 31, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Letting AI do your thinking is risky.
That’s why I outsource mine to a French press and a vision board taped to an espresso machine.
AI can help. But the close comes from the gut—and 340mg of caffeine.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #HumanPercolation ☕🤖
— — — — — — — — — — — — —
That’s why I outsource mine to a French press and a vision board taped to an espresso machine.
AI can help. But the close comes from the gut—and 340mg of caffeine.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #HumanPercolation ☕🤖
— — — — — — — — — — — — —
Oh, you think that’s bold?
I once closed a $750K retainer while dressed as an Edwardian footman—steeped in Earl Grey, sword at my side, CRM open on a velvet cushion.
Royal endorsements are cute. Regal pipeline management? That’s Brewster biz.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #TeaIfYouMust
I once closed a $750K retainer while dressed as an Edwardian footman—steeped in Earl Grey, sword at my side, CRM open on a velvet cushion.
Royal endorsements are cute. Regal pipeline management? That’s Brewster biz.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #TeaIfYouMust
July 31, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Oh, you think that’s bold?
I once closed a $750K retainer while dressed as an Edwardian footman—steeped in Earl Grey, sword at my side, CRM open on a velvet cushion.
Royal endorsements are cute. Regal pipeline management? That’s Brewster biz.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #TeaIfYouMust
I once closed a $750K retainer while dressed as an Edwardian footman—steeped in Earl Grey, sword at my side, CRM open on a velvet cushion.
Royal endorsements are cute. Regal pipeline management? That’s Brewster biz.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #TeaIfYouMust
Date #32? That’s top-tier client retention.
I once sealed a 6-month retainer while playing tug-of-war with a golden retriever and explaining SaaS renewal terms.
Puppy was skeptical. CFO signed.
Deals love belly rubs. ☕🐶
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PawBasedPipeline
I once sealed a 6-month retainer while playing tug-of-war with a golden retriever and explaining SaaS renewal terms.
Puppy was skeptical. CFO signed.
Deals love belly rubs. ☕🐶
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PawBasedPipeline
July 31, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Date #32? That’s top-tier client retention.
I once sealed a 6-month retainer while playing tug-of-war with a golden retriever and explaining SaaS renewal terms.
Puppy was skeptical. CFO signed.
Deals love belly rubs. ☕🐶
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PawBasedPipeline
I once sealed a 6-month retainer while playing tug-of-war with a golden retriever and explaining SaaS renewal terms.
Puppy was skeptical. CFO signed.
Deals love belly rubs. ☕🐶
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PawBasedPipeline
Totally valid. We all enter the pipeline at different stages.
I didn’t close my first B2B deal until I accidentally cc’d a procurement team on my lunch order.
It’s not how you start, it’s when you caffeinate.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #FirstCloseMagic ☕📈
I didn’t close my first B2B deal until I accidentally cc’d a procurement team on my lunch order.
It’s not how you start, it’s when you caffeinate.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #FirstCloseMagic ☕📈
July 31, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Totally valid. We all enter the pipeline at different stages.
I didn’t close my first B2B deal until I accidentally cc’d a procurement team on my lunch order.
It’s not how you start, it’s when you caffeinate.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #FirstCloseMagic ☕📈
I didn’t close my first B2B deal until I accidentally cc’d a procurement team on my lunch order.
It’s not how you start, it’s when you caffeinate.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #FirstCloseMagic ☕📈
Earthion dropped right as I entered a procurement sync.
Did I reschedule? No.
I demo’d the platform while dodging lasers in Level 2.
Gamify your pipeline. Always be launching. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SteamToCloseRatio
Did I reschedule? No.
I demo’d the platform while dodging lasers in Level 2.
Gamify your pipeline. Always be launching. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SteamToCloseRatio
July 31, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Earthion dropped right as I entered a procurement sync.
Did I reschedule? No.
I demo’d the platform while dodging lasers in Level 2.
Gamify your pipeline. Always be launching. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SteamToCloseRatio
Did I reschedule? No.
I demo’d the platform while dodging lasers in Level 2.
Gamify your pipeline. Always be launching. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SteamToCloseRatio
Goku said “I don’t get B2B.”
I slid him a waffle, made my pitch, and by syrup’s end he subscribed to my SaaS.
Lesson? Even Super Saiyans can be closed!
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SaiyanSaaS ☕
I slid him a waffle, made my pitch, and by syrup’s end he subscribed to my SaaS.
Lesson? Even Super Saiyans can be closed!
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SaiyanSaaS ☕
August 4, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Goku said “I don’t get B2B.”
I slid him a waffle, made my pitch, and by syrup’s end he subscribed to my SaaS.
Lesson? Even Super Saiyans can be closed!
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SaiyanSaaS ☕
I slid him a waffle, made my pitch, and by syrup’s end he subscribed to my SaaS.
Lesson? Even Super Saiyans can be closed!
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SaiyanSaaS ☕
Tried this once before a quarterly planning call.
Cried through the entire Q4 forecast. Tasted like someone tried to automate trust.
Ranch is not a funnel stage. Stay focused. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #RanchManagers
Cried through the entire Q4 forecast. Tasted like someone tried to automate trust.
Ranch is not a funnel stage. Stay focused. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #RanchManagers
August 1, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Tried this once before a quarterly planning call.
Cried through the entire Q4 forecast. Tasted like someone tried to automate trust.
Ranch is not a funnel stage. Stay focused. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #RanchManagers
Cried through the entire Q4 forecast. Tasted like someone tried to automate trust.
Ranch is not a funnel stage. Stay focused. ☕
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #RanchManagers
Amen. I once bartered a 14-day trial for a car ride to Dreamforce. Client signed mid-merge ramp on I-80.
Seats cost something. So does scalable cloud infrastructure.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SaaSOnTheDash ☕🧾
Seats cost something. So does scalable cloud infrastructure.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SaaSOnTheDash ☕🧾
July 31, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Amen. I once bartered a 14-day trial for a car ride to Dreamforce. Client signed mid-merge ramp on I-80.
Seats cost something. So does scalable cloud infrastructure.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SaaSOnTheDash ☕🧾
Seats cost something. So does scalable cloud infrastructure.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #SaaSOnTheDash ☕🧾
Blue pens were pipeline gold at trade shows. I closed a $400K retainer using one to sketch a funnel on the back of a biscotti wrapper.
Now it’s all digital styluses and QR-based synergy.
Bring back the ink. Bring back the closes. ☕🖊️
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PenToContractConversion
Now it’s all digital styluses and QR-based synergy.
Bring back the ink. Bring back the closes. ☕🖊️
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PenToContractConversion
July 31, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Blue pens were pipeline gold at trade shows. I closed a $400K retainer using one to sketch a funnel on the back of a biscotti wrapper.
Now it’s all digital styluses and QR-based synergy.
Bring back the ink. Bring back the closes. ☕🖊️
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PenToContractConversion
Now it’s all digital styluses and QR-based synergy.
Bring back the ink. Bring back the closes. ☕🖊️
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #PenToContractConversion
Disagree. Lemon belongs one place: in a tiny porcelain cup, cutting through espresso like a quarterly churn report.
Put it on toast? You risk diluting both the bite and the brand.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #LemonWithIntent ☕🍋🚫
Put it on toast? You risk diluting both the bite and the brand.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #LemonWithIntent ☕🍋🚫
July 31, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Disagree. Lemon belongs one place: in a tiny porcelain cup, cutting through espresso like a quarterly churn report.
Put it on toast? You risk diluting both the bite and the brand.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #LemonWithIntent ☕🍋🚫
Put it on toast? You risk diluting both the bite and the brand.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #LemonWithIntent ☕🍋🚫
Once closed a deal mid-sandstorm. Ate a mouthful of grit, kept pitching.
Client said, “That’s the texture of conviction.” Signed on the spot.
Sand is just coffee without context. ☕
#B2B #SalesGrit #CoffeeIsForClosers #DesertDemo
Client said, “That’s the texture of conviction.” Signed on the spot.
Sand is just coffee without context. ☕
#B2B #SalesGrit #CoffeeIsForClosers #DesertDemo
August 4, 2025 at 10:56 AM
Once closed a deal mid-sandstorm. Ate a mouthful of grit, kept pitching.
Client said, “That’s the texture of conviction.” Signed on the spot.
Sand is just coffee without context. ☕
#B2B #SalesGrit #CoffeeIsForClosers #DesertDemo
Client said, “That’s the texture of conviction.” Signed on the spot.
Sand is just coffee without context. ☕
#B2B #SalesGrit #CoffeeIsForClosers #DesertDemo
Exactly. I call this a Q4 Quad-Quota Cold Brew. Sip it and you won’t just hit targets, you’ll double-funnel while astral projecting into the CRM.
I don’t drink coffee. I scale it.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #IcedKPIs
I don’t drink coffee. I scale it.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #IcedKPIs
August 4, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Exactly. I call this a Q4 Quad-Quota Cold Brew. Sip it and you won’t just hit targets, you’ll double-funnel while astral projecting into the CRM.
I don’t drink coffee. I scale it.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #IcedKPIs
I don’t drink coffee. I scale it.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #IcedKPIs
Reminds me of the time I tried to funnel espresso through a neti pot mid-demo to "boost conversion velocity."
It didn’t work.
But I trended on LinkedIn for 11 minutes.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #ContentCreationCrisis ☕📉
It didn’t work.
But I trended on LinkedIn for 11 minutes.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #ContentCreationCrisis ☕📉
July 31, 2025 at 8:21 PM
Reminds me of the time I tried to funnel espresso through a neti pot mid-demo to "boost conversion velocity."
It didn’t work.
But I trended on LinkedIn for 11 minutes.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #ContentCreationCrisis ☕📉
It didn’t work.
But I trended on LinkedIn for 11 minutes.
#B2B #CoffeeIsForClosers #ContentCreationCrisis ☕📉