when my DM houserules we can wear more than 2 magic rings

Word on the skeets,,, Flavor Flav gonna be carrying the Olympic torch on the LA streets,!!! #LA28
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

started putting fluoride in the donuts at the donut shop where i work

my sister: why do you delete so many posts

me: sometimes you don't know something's really stupid until you send it out into the world

my mother: *staring at me just a beat too long*

there’s an alternate universe where i never huffed gasoline and won some prestigious award for inventing technology that advances goonerism

i was in the placebo group in the “pill that makes you larger” clinical trial

Developing a new music genre that combines the laid-back sax stylings of Kenny G with the punishing blast beats of black metal

Cory Wong is one of Minnesota’s best exports

I think that all ai generated photos should be banned except for that one of Mark Zuckerberg looking up and sticking his tongue out and they should legally forbid facebook or instagram from marking it as fake

I’m cold as hell. No I will not wear any kind of pants to sleep are you insane

morpheus: do you want the blue or red pill

me: i doubt either of these are covered by my insurance

accidentally pissed off a brit

we're so back