Cantard
@cantard.bsky.social
Accountant, 3.5 wizard, lover of giant fighting robots. Wanted to run for office, but things didn't work out.
Hey Paris, want to judge a beauty contest?
Paris with an ounce of genre awareness:
Paris with an ounce of genre awareness:
a group of business people are sitting around a table in a conference room having a meeting .
ALT: a group of business people are sitting around a table in a conference room having a meeting .
media.tenor.com
January 19, 2026 at 9:08 PM
Hey Paris, want to judge a beauty contest?
Paris with an ounce of genre awareness:
Paris with an ounce of genre awareness:
The straight man in a cast of over the top people bellowing drama at each other.
January 19, 2026 at 2:56 AM
The straight man in a cast of over the top people bellowing drama at each other.
Great throw and great catch. You love to see a plan come together.
January 19, 2026 at 2:48 AM
Great throw and great catch. You love to see a plan come together.
Talking to my 6YO about the moon landings and had to come to terms that at 41, no one has walked on the moon in my lifetime.
January 19, 2026 at 2:44 AM
Talking to my 6YO about the moon landings and had to come to terms that at 41, no one has walked on the moon in my lifetime.
God: Did you send an angel to resolve the Bishop's marital issues?
Gabriel: Sure did boss. Real fucking sexy like you asked.
God: What?
Gabriel: Sure did boss. Real fucking sexy like you asked.
God: What?
January 19, 2026 at 2:37 AM
God: Did you send an angel to resolve the Bishop's marital issues?
Gabriel: Sure did boss. Real fucking sexy like you asked.
God: What?
Gabriel: Sure did boss. Real fucking sexy like you asked.
God: What?
Something that disturbed me recently was flying to Kentucky for a conference and seeing crypto ads on every wall. I came up in banking and first got introduced to crypto in the context of the Silk Road, so it's like I'm seeing ads for fraud and money laundering.
January 19, 2026 at 2:10 AM
Something that disturbed me recently was flying to Kentucky for a conference and seeing crypto ads on every wall. I came up in banking and first got introduced to crypto in the context of the Silk Road, so it's like I'm seeing ads for fraud and money laundering.
I thought it was fine. The Lando's droid was a bit much. Not real heavy in Star Wars lore, but I don't understand why "Solo" couldn't have just been his last name instead of something a douche slapped on him.
January 16, 2026 at 7:55 PM
I thought it was fine. The Lando's droid was a bit much. Not real heavy in Star Wars lore, but I don't understand why "Solo" couldn't have just been his last name instead of something a douche slapped on him.
I don't know about other institutions, but I'm impressed that they had a bust made of Bari Weiss. My institution has statues sure, statues of dead people. A star athlete that slipped and broke his neck, a generous donor, the parents of a sculptor, on and on. But a statue of a living board member?
January 16, 2026 at 7:47 PM
I don't know about other institutions, but I'm impressed that they had a bust made of Bari Weiss. My institution has statues sure, statues of dead people. A star athlete that slipped and broke his neck, a generous donor, the parents of a sculptor, on and on. But a statue of a living board member?
"Later, that evening, the billionaire entrepreneur Peter Thiel would deliver the first of a series of lectures on the Antichrist."
A sure sign that I am getting a quality education.
A sure sign that I am getting a quality education.
January 16, 2026 at 7:11 PM
"Later, that evening, the billionaire entrepreneur Peter Thiel would deliver the first of a series of lectures on the Antichrist."
A sure sign that I am getting a quality education.
A sure sign that I am getting a quality education.
Me being bloody-minded and cheap: [Pull the ring tab off a can of spaghetti O's.]
January 16, 2026 at 6:39 PM
Me being bloody-minded and cheap: [Pull the ring tab off a can of spaghetti O's.]
Me starting the day: Huh... lizzard warning. That a typo?
Me ending the day: Must go faster! Must go faster!!
Me ending the day: Must go faster! Must go faster!!
a boat with the letters aa on it
ALT: a boat with the letters aa on it
media.tenor.com
January 16, 2026 at 6:28 PM
Me starting the day: Huh... lizzard warning. That a typo?
Me ending the day: Must go faster! Must go faster!!
Me ending the day: Must go faster! Must go faster!!
Beat Fallout 1 and played a fair bit of 3 and really want to get into 4. I hear all sorts of things about New Vegas that makes me want to install it.
January 16, 2026 at 6:16 PM
Beat Fallout 1 and played a fair bit of 3 and really want to get into 4. I hear all sorts of things about New Vegas that makes me want to install it.
One assumes the National Guard, or the military at large, has more discerning hiring practices than ICE and will not be enthused about being brought into Minnesota.
January 16, 2026 at 5:48 PM
One assumes the National Guard, or the military at large, has more discerning hiring practices than ICE and will not be enthused about being brought into Minnesota.
One tends to task questions like "Where ere you born" when engaging in targeted operations.
January 16, 2026 at 5:46 PM
One tends to task questions like "Where ere you born" when engaging in targeted operations.
LEGO is a monster bent on emptying my bank account. This is why I cry out in despair when the LEGO catalog shows up in the mail.
January 16, 2026 at 4:29 PM
LEGO is a monster bent on emptying my bank account. This is why I cry out in despair when the LEGO catalog shows up in the mail.
"We're reducing health care by numbers you haven't seen."
Amusingly, this is a literally true statement.
Amusingly, this is a literally true statement.
January 16, 2026 at 4:04 PM
"We're reducing health care by numbers you haven't seen."
Amusingly, this is a literally true statement.
Amusingly, this is a literally true statement.
Me watching the live action content and seeing something you only get from Clone Wars or Rebels.
a man in a yellow shirt is sitting in a chair holding a cup and pointing
ALT: a man in a yellow shirt is sitting in a chair holding a cup and pointing
media.tenor.com
January 16, 2026 at 4:03 PM
Me watching the live action content and seeing something you only get from Clone Wars or Rebels.
I'm thinking more of the Warlords period. I greatly enjoyed the Courtship of Princess Leia back in the day. Get me some Shadows of the Empire action. The First Order just felt like reheated Empire with their Death Star take 3. Give me a good orbital night cloak.
January 16, 2026 at 4:00 PM
I'm thinking more of the Warlords period. I greatly enjoyed the Courtship of Princess Leia back in the day. Get me some Shadows of the Empire action. The First Order just felt like reheated Empire with their Death Star take 3. Give me a good orbital night cloak.
The First Order timeline is just so...
Can't they just drop it, forget the characters, and remember that there is a crap load of books that looked at the post-empire that they could explore?
Can't they just drop it, forget the characters, and remember that there is a crap load of books that looked at the post-empire that they could explore?
January 16, 2026 at 3:35 PM
The First Order timeline is just so...
Can't they just drop it, forget the characters, and remember that there is a crap load of books that looked at the post-empire that they could explore?
Can't they just drop it, forget the characters, and remember that there is a crap load of books that looked at the post-empire that they could explore?
Bath time with Rex was great.
January 16, 2026 at 2:59 PM
Bath time with Rex was great.
Director: BRLING OUT GOJILLA!
Budget: THE UNSPEAKABLE PAIN!
Director: ENOUGH GOJILLA! BRLING OUT THE MARLINE!
Budget: Oh thank God.
Budget: THE UNSPEAKABLE PAIN!
Director: ENOUGH GOJILLA! BRLING OUT THE MARLINE!
Budget: Oh thank God.
January 15, 2026 at 10:43 PM
Director: BRLING OUT GOJILLA!
Budget: THE UNSPEAKABLE PAIN!
Director: ENOUGH GOJILLA! BRLING OUT THE MARLINE!
Budget: Oh thank God.
Budget: THE UNSPEAKABLE PAIN!
Director: ENOUGH GOJILLA! BRLING OUT THE MARLINE!
Budget: Oh thank God.
My pre-panel prep so I can accurately retort.
a close up of a pot of beans being cooked in a pot .
Alt: Beans beans, the musical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot.
media.tenor.com
January 15, 2026 at 9:57 PM
My pre-panel prep so I can accurately retort.
Me at the gym: To have GAINS you must feel PAINS.
a cartoon of a man lifting dumbbells in a gym
Alt: Rick and Summer beef up to kick the crap out of Satan.
media.tenor.com
January 15, 2026 at 9:54 PM
Me at the gym: To have GAINS you must feel PAINS.
Got a feeling bribery does work with Trump.
January 15, 2026 at 9:50 PM
Got a feeling bribery does work with Trump.
Hm...do I detect a hint of Funky Tut?
a group of people dressed in ancient egyptian costumes are dancing
ALT: a group of people dressed in ancient egyptian costumes are dancing
media.tenor.com
January 15, 2026 at 8:56 PM
Hm...do I detect a hint of Funky Tut?