Pants, the Uromancer🧙♂️💦👖
@captainpants.bsky.social
👖legwear👖respect👖zone👖 (pronouns he/they)
UGH NO, I'm so sorry! I hope you've since had your access restored, or are at least able to get it resolved soon, while the new tag's still active! 😟
December 9, 2025 at 12:59 AM
UGH NO, I'm so sorry! I hope you've since had your access restored, or are at least able to get it resolved soon, while the new tag's still active! 😟
...I know I may receive my own burst of heat for this, but saying you'll "viscously punish them" makes me think you're planning to, uh, submerge them in peanut butter or somethin'.
(I'M SORRY)
(I'M SORRY)
December 4, 2025 at 6:48 AM
...I know I may receive my own burst of heat for this, but saying you'll "viscously punish them" makes me think you're planning to, uh, submerge them in peanut butter or somethin'.
(I'M SORRY)
(I'M SORRY)
Heck yesss, so happy to see you've joined Fansly! Easily my personal fave among all those snazzy fansites. 😍
November 29, 2025 at 7:05 AM
Heck yesss, so happy to see you've joined Fansly! Easily my personal fave among all those snazzy fansites. 😍
Honestly, I especially like "Uromancer" because it feels like it might irk the ghost of William Gibson.
...wait...
...oh, he's still alive. Uh-oh!
...wait...
...oh, he's still alive. Uh-oh!
November 29, 2025 at 6:58 AM
Honestly, I especially like "Uromancer" because it feels like it might irk the ghost of William Gibson.
...wait...
...oh, he's still alive. Uh-oh!
...wait...
...oh, he's still alive. Uh-oh!
Yesssss, ~ludicrous speeeeeed~
a red sign that says ludicrous speed is lit up
ALT: a red sign that says ludicrous speed is lit up
media.tenor.com
November 29, 2025 at 6:50 AM
Yesssss, ~ludicrous speeeeeed~
Apologies, I'm just whining into space now. I know I shouldn't be on here (or on social media in general) any longer, as the good vs harm balance swings far too strongly towards the latter as of late, but I dread burning the last few connections I still have out here.
November 3, 2025 at 2:06 AM
Apologies, I'm just whining into space now. I know I shouldn't be on here (or on social media in general) any longer, as the good vs harm balance swings far too strongly towards the latter as of late, but I dread burning the last few connections I still have out here.
Ooh, *love* a spicy skirt-y squat, though! 😊
October 28, 2025 at 4:17 AM
Ooh, *love* a spicy skirt-y squat, though! 😊
WOOHOO! Congratulations, you are now...
*types 55378008 on calculator, flips it upside-down, shows it to you*
*types 55378008 on calculator, flips it upside-down, shows it to you*
October 26, 2025 at 1:07 AM
WOOHOO! Congratulations, you are now...
*types 55378008 on calculator, flips it upside-down, shows it to you*
*types 55378008 on calculator, flips it upside-down, shows it to you*
YOU *ABSOLUTELY* have this, and I hope you find satisfaction in every second of training along the way!
October 26, 2025 at 1:05 AM
YOU *ABSOLUTELY* have this, and I hope you find satisfaction in every second of training along the way!
lol, thanks! 😊
October 26, 2025 at 1:04 AM
lol, thanks! 😊
While I'm absolutely keeping the evening clear for this, I wonder if I should just take the whole day off from work to *really* embrace the anticipation!
October 26, 2025 at 1:01 AM
While I'm absolutely keeping the evening clear for this, I wonder if I should just take the whole day off from work to *really* embrace the anticipation!
This whole situation has been...entirely cursed and oh gosh I'm so sorry about all your hardware damage, but YESSSS, at least your data's intact and that particular worst-case scenario has been averted!
October 22, 2025 at 3:41 PM
This whole situation has been...entirely cursed and oh gosh I'm so sorry about all your hardware damage, but YESSSS, at least your data's intact and that particular worst-case scenario has been averted!
WOAH GOSH, sorry for the late response but all of the joyous wishes for the next few days, and especially for Friday's surgery, of course! HOORAY IT IS HAPPENING AW YEAH
Anyway! See you next year!!! 🎉
Anyway! See you next year!!! 🎉
October 22, 2025 at 3:27 PM
WOAH GOSH, sorry for the late response but all of the joyous wishes for the next few days, and especially for Friday's surgery, of course! HOORAY IT IS HAPPENING AW YEAH
Anyway! See you next year!!! 🎉
Anyway! See you next year!!! 🎉
YESSSS, that's wonderful! Frolic onward, Mo! 💜
October 21, 2025 at 1:30 AM
YESSSS, that's wonderful! Frolic onward, Mo! 💜
oh
I...
hmm.
I...
hmm.
October 14, 2025 at 12:17 AM
oh
I...
hmm.
I...
hmm.
Ooh! Hades, maybe? First game's one of my all-time favorites (and the sequel officially left Early Access and "released" on Thursday) – I'd definitely recommend looking into it to see if its gameplay and aesthetics might be to your liking. Plus, it's on sale for just over $6 on the Switch right now!
September 27, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Ooh! Hades, maybe? First game's one of my all-time favorites (and the sequel officially left Early Access and "released" on Thursday) – I'd definitely recommend looking into it to see if its gameplay and aesthetics might be to your liking. Plus, it's on sale for just over $6 on the Switch right now!
Totally fair – I had no idea, either! We're so used to testicles presenting externally, they'd never normally come to mind otherwise, y'know? I guess it's just something to keep in mind in the future at this point. Anyway, my condolences for dear snek-fren.
September 14, 2025 at 5:50 AM
Totally fair – I had no idea, either! We're so used to testicles presenting externally, they'd never normally come to mind otherwise, y'know? I guess it's just something to keep in mind in the future at this point. Anyway, my condolences for dear snek-fren.
Ugh, I'm so sorry to hear that...absolutely not an ailment one would often expect in a snake, but...damn. *sending many hugs and such*
September 14, 2025 at 5:22 AM
Ugh, I'm so sorry to hear that...absolutely not an ailment one would often expect in a snake, but...damn. *sending many hugs and such*
You're totally welcome to borrow my fancy dice, in case they might help you roll better saving throws to resist the YIKES. 😵💫
September 7, 2025 at 6:31 PM
You're totally welcome to borrow my fancy dice, in case they might help you roll better saving throws to resist the YIKES. 😵💫
Aw! :3 You're ABSOLUTELY going to crush it, and I can't wait to see every li'l moment of it! (Well, other than spicy private time!)
September 4, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Aw! :3 You're ABSOLUTELY going to crush it, and I can't wait to see every li'l moment of it! (Well, other than spicy private time!)
Honestly, SO EXCITED about this!
September 4, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Honestly, SO EXCITED about this!
Ooh! I'll most definitely be there, on the Fansly side of things!
August 27, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Ooh! I'll most definitely be there, on the Fansly side of things!