there are many progressive, empowering or campy reasons why chappell roan would write the giver but it's funnier to imagine a marketing guy showing her spreadsheets in front of a whiteboard with "finger fuckin" circled in red

i wish i was a hamburger . i wish i could physically morph into a double cheeseburger and when people bit into me id scream and go “oww!!! oh!!! that hurts!!!!” and they would drop me in complete horror and cry out in fear