Chase Mitchell
@chasemit.bsky.social
Writer, formerly of @insidejob, @FallonTonight, and one time for an aftershow about sharks
It’s always two unvaccinated bitches telling each other exactlyyyyy
February 15, 2026 at 4:13 AM
It’s always two unvaccinated bitches telling each other exactlyyyyy
Did you not get embarrassed enough last year
February 8, 2026 at 9:18 AM
Did you not get embarrassed enough last year
In 2026 we’re putting jacking off on layaway
February 8, 2026 at 12:06 AM
In 2026 we’re putting jacking off on layaway
This is gonna be the year
February 5, 2026 at 4:02 AM
This is gonna be the year
I didn’t know jaundice could spread to your clothes
January 30, 2026 at 11:34 PM
I didn’t know jaundice could spread to your clothes
*to wife’s lawyer printing out divorce papers* Makin’ copies!
January 28, 2026 at 9:53 PM
*to wife’s lawyer printing out divorce papers* Makin’ copies!
For a really, really long time, I thought Alan Moore made this up for Watchmen. I can’t believe we regularly gather four adults together to pose around a fake clock that they moved themselves
January 28, 2026 at 4:34 AM
For a really, really long time, I thought Alan Moore made this up for Watchmen. I can’t believe we regularly gather four adults together to pose around a fake clock that they moved themselves
1700s Megyn Kelly would’ve been leaned out the window yelling for Paul Revere to shut the fuck up
January 28, 2026 at 12:56 AM
1700s Megyn Kelly would’ve been leaned out the window yelling for Paul Revere to shut the fuck up
For whatever reason all of Hulu’s photos on its homescreen are scrambled right now and it’s p funny
January 27, 2026 at 6:53 PM
For whatever reason all of Hulu’s photos on its homescreen are scrambled right now and it’s p funny
Diabolical work here
January 27, 2026 at 2:52 AM
Diabolical work here
Republicans are coming to take your guns
January 24, 2026 at 7:40 PM
Republicans are coming to take your guns
Mr. Bean bumbling around with Mia Khalifa stuck on his head
January 21, 2026 at 5:10 AM
Mr. Bean bumbling around with Mia Khalifa stuck on his head
One more 5-star in a row and they take away my Letterboxd account
January 20, 2026 at 8:25 AM
One more 5-star in a row and they take away my Letterboxd account
If Kid Rock said “The United Goddamn States” these people would think it’s the coolest thing in the world
January 18, 2026 at 5:58 PM
If Kid Rock said “The United Goddamn States” these people would think it’s the coolest thing in the world
Facebook going great
January 14, 2026 at 10:34 PM
Facebook going great
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who remembers that in 2016 Kings Of Leon released an album cover that looks like they’re drowning in cum
January 6, 2026 at 7:38 AM
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who remembers that in 2016 Kings Of Leon released an album cover that looks like they’re drowning in cum
Why does it look like she’s wearing this
January 2, 2026 at 2:16 AM
Why does it look like she’s wearing this
I would’ve thrown it all away for the Die Hard 2 fax lady
December 29, 2025 at 6:45 PM
I would’ve thrown it all away for the Die Hard 2 fax lady
*billy corgan voice*
December 27, 2025 at 9:42 PM
*billy corgan voice*
Often when I am in a Walgreens I am thinking “how can I take this experience home with me”
December 24, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Often when I am in a Walgreens I am thinking “how can I take this experience home with me”
The question was “have you read mein kampf”
December 16, 2025 at 6:38 AM
The question was “have you read mein kampf”
Feels silly to talk about this one in a career full of classics, but this movie could’ve/should’ve been totally embarrassing. It wasn’t, cuz Reiner made it feel like a warm hang with old buds doing a few last bits together. Fitting his last one lovingly looks back on the one that started his big run
December 15, 2025 at 8:47 AM
Feels silly to talk about this one in a career full of classics, but this movie could’ve/should’ve been totally embarrassing. It wasn’t, cuz Reiner made it feel like a warm hang with old buds doing a few last bits together. Fitting his last one lovingly looks back on the one that started his big run
Via process of elimination, Jay-Z now has the best verse on Monster
December 14, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Via process of elimination, Jay-Z now has the best verse on Monster
There should be an age you reach where a microphone won’t work if you try to talk into it
December 8, 2025 at 8:55 PM
There should be an age you reach where a microphone won’t work if you try to talk into it