David Furniture
@cheeseboygers.bsky.social
[high-pitched grinding noises] (he/him)
ok i think this evening's revelations are a decent enough use case good job everyone clap it up
someone better at this than me should figure out what to do with this 👍
November 18, 2025 at 3:21 AM
ok i think this evening's revelations are a decent enough use case good job everyone clap it up
holy shit a literal budgie smuggler!
November 18, 2025 at 2:38 AM
holy shit a literal budgie smuggler!
[zooming in on the dark spot shaped quite a bit like the wheelbarrow gamepiece from monopoly in my latest brain scan]
me: baby, don't worry. it's not a wheelbarrow token from the popular board game monopoly.
the journalist writing a profile on me: i must have you.
me: baby, don't worry. it's not a wheelbarrow token from the popular board game monopoly.
the journalist writing a profile on me: i must have you.
November 17, 2025 at 1:39 PM
[zooming in on the dark spot shaped quite a bit like the wheelbarrow gamepiece from monopoly in my latest brain scan]
me: baby, don't worry. it's not a wheelbarrow token from the popular board game monopoly.
the journalist writing a profile on me: i must have you.
me: baby, don't worry. it's not a wheelbarrow token from the popular board game monopoly.
the journalist writing a profile on me: i must have you.
someone better at this than me should figure out what to do with this 👍
November 17, 2025 at 1:18 PM
someone better at this than me should figure out what to do with this 👍
new vagus nerve who dis
November 17, 2025 at 9:11 AM
new vagus nerve who dis
inside you there are two smurfs...
November 17, 2025 at 4:05 AM
inside you there are two smurfs...
perfect example of my executive dysfunction: i always forget and finish the glass of water before i even start eating the roll of pennies
November 16, 2025 at 1:30 AM
perfect example of my executive dysfunction: i always forget and finish the glass of water before i even start eating the roll of pennies
the train conductor asked me if i smelled play-doh, and even though i didn't, i said i did. first little white lie in a while. still got it.
November 14, 2025 at 10:41 PM
the train conductor asked me if i smelled play-doh, and even though i didn't, i said i did. first little white lie in a while. still got it.
life's rich pageant
November 14, 2025 at 5:41 PM
life's rich pageant
i thought- I had tsuris
November 14, 2025 at 5:05 PM
i thought- I had tsuris
the gossamer veil: ...well i'm sure you'll have plenty of time to finish your memoirs... *in jail*...
the autobiographer: GODDAMMIT, I HATE JAIL!
the autobiographer: GODDAMMIT, I HATE JAIL!
November 14, 2025 at 12:01 PM
the gossamer veil: ...well i'm sure you'll have plenty of time to finish your memoirs... *in jail*...
the autobiographer: GODDAMMIT, I HATE JAIL!
the autobiographer: GODDAMMIT, I HATE JAIL!
one time jeffrey epstein emailed soon yi previn the entire text of a new york times profile of zach braff
November 13, 2025 at 3:15 PM
one time jeffrey epstein emailed soon yi previn the entire text of a new york times profile of zach braff
the gum disease gingivitis is sabotaging my ai strategy
November 12, 2025 at 10:55 PM
the gum disease gingivitis is sabotaging my ai strategy
fuck that first fish that crawled out of the ocean. we had a good thing going but you just had to go and ruin it.
November 12, 2025 at 9:25 PM
fuck that first fish that crawled out of the ocean. we had a good thing going but you just had to go and ruin it.
uh yeah i love studio ghibli especially the way they make the food look so beautiful
November 12, 2025 at 2:30 PM
uh yeah i love studio ghibli especially the way they make the food look so beautiful
repost with an iconic fictional band
November 12, 2025 at 1:10 AM
repost with an iconic fictional band
james bond is a modern fairy tale about nude lady and gun, set in and around the fictional realm of "the united kingdom [sic]." it borrows heavily from the works of hans christian andersen, ed roth, teletubbies, and the obscure webcomic "bowtie barnes kicks ascot" by craunch weems. it is not good.
November 11, 2025 at 3:06 PM
james bond is a modern fairy tale about nude lady and gun, set in and around the fictional realm of "the united kingdom [sic]." it borrows heavily from the works of hans christian andersen, ed roth, teletubbies, and the obscure webcomic "bowtie barnes kicks ascot" by craunch weems. it is not good.
i am at a wedding and just remembered that i hate being at a wedding
November 9, 2025 at 1:09 AM
i am at a wedding and just remembered that i hate being at a wedding
yes i hope he wins but i still fail to see what this has to do with affordability
November 4, 2025 at 11:37 PM
yes i hope he wins but i still fail to see what this has to do with affordability
a fun thing about being a tall middle-aged person is that every time i stand up and stretch i go on a psychedelic journey of self-discovery. i have seen beyond, and unfortunately my back is still sore.
November 2, 2025 at 11:29 AM
a fun thing about being a tall middle-aged person is that every time i stand up and stretch i go on a psychedelic journey of self-discovery. i have seen beyond, and unfortunately my back is still sore.
it's such a funny terrible thing when the visiting team wins the championship
November 2, 2025 at 4:19 AM
it's such a funny terrible thing when the visiting team wins the championship