Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo

@coldchef.bsky.social

1K followers 510 following 1.6K posts

Undertaker, Overexplainer. Anonymortician. Memento moron. Failure is always an option. I have friends everywhere. I will likely let you down.

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · Nov 15

The Airbnb we’re staying at has questionable books on the shelves, but some of them are even autographed.

7 17 120

Reposted by ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo

Middle Age Riot @middleageriot.bsky.social · 9h

If "never leave your drink unattended" were a person.

68 270 1.1K

Reposted by ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 14h

NN: Dems say you won't swear in Grijalva bc you don't want her vote on Epstein

JOHNSON: No. It's scheduling

NN: But there have been Rs sworn in during pro forma sessions

MJ: Only reason was bc they flew in their family

NN: So if she flies in her family you'd do it?

MJ: Again, it's a distraction

1.2K 3.8K 12K

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 5h

My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from a guy who knows a kid who's going with the girl who saw him create antifa at 31 Flavors last night. I think it's serious.

Reposted by ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo

Beast of Booorbon 👻 @jenleepa.bsky.social · 10h

This new comic from @theoatmeal.bsky.social about AI “art” is exactly what I needed to read today. I hope you’ll read it, too.

theoatmeal.com/comics/ai_art

A cartoonist's review of AI art - The Oatmeal

This is a comic about AI art.

theoatmeal.com

4 5

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 1d

I once got in an argument with a girlfriend about her spending. In the middle of the argument, UPS arrived with my pasta maker, the one and only thing I ever bought from QVC. I turned around, box in hand, and she told me, "Pasta is 80 cents a pack." I handed the box back to the delivery person.

1 5

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 1d

Is Skyrizi that toilet thing kids keep talking about?

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 1d

You have the best body art.

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 4d

I love these!

1 2

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 5d

This is nothing short of brilliant.

1 1

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 5d

I am horrified and turned on.

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 5d

It's no one's vault but my own!

1 7

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 5d

To my eye, that looks like a vault, not a casket. And unless it's being moved to another cemetery, it would be empty.

2 4

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 5d

I use "[email protected]"

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 5d

An embalmer explains what he wants done with his body when he dies.

7 4 36

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 5d

I know a few people who would love this bag.

Curlworks @curlworks.net · 5d

The coveted Koi Fish Bag sample is finished and on the way to us for final approval! His spots are custom screen-printed on a large piece of canvas from which the fish pieces are cut, so each fish will be unique :) Like him? You can preorder him RIGHT NOW! curlworks.net

1 5

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 5d

Taylor Swift’s new album has a lot of funeral imagery and you know what that means.

She’s a fan.

4 47

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 6d

For my birthday one year, I sent postcards to friends telling them that I loved them and included what I loved about them.

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 7d

Only when it gets too depressing. Which is often.

1 3

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 7d

Ok.

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 7d

Reaping.

Handsome undertaker in a bowtie, standing in a field.

2 20

Reposted by ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo

gin. @showupforthis.bsky.social · 7d

Morning folks, we're $1795 short with rent and utilities due again *today*. If you see this, please share it. It helps!

Paypal: affirmationgin at gmail
Cashapp/venmo: showupforthis

gin. @showupforthis.bsky.social · 10d

Hey folks! I'm coming out of the woods of being laid off and starting to get paychecks again, but I am in a shortfall cycle that is only going to get worse as we head into fall/winter with heating bills and food costs rising and, you know, literally everything being more costly.

I need some help.

1 6 5

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 7d

More or less. I could figure out the exact number, but it's all on paper. We're not very technological around here.

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 7d

I own too many ties, all my suits are cheap ones. Doesn't make sense to have a nice suit when you're always either in the rain or sweating through it. I am an ordained minister and can conduct services, but I rarely do it. I have only handled one green burial in 21 years.

1 30

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 7d

By rough estimate, I've been entrusted with the mortal remains of nearly seven thousand bodies. I've handled cases as far away as Vietnam and South America. The friends of my parents, the babies of my friends, a girl or two that I've kissed, I've been honored to help them all.

2 34

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 7d

I came to work at my family's funeral home on October 1, 2004. I have been in funeral service for 21 years as of today. I have buried or cremated my family members, my friends, and even a few enemies. I have handled the bodies of several teachers, one principal, and one or two minor celebrities.

12 81