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Diane Messias

@comedywriter.bsky.social

2.5K followers 2.7K following 8.7K posts

Triste satirist https://notesfromcuckooisland.blog/2023/05/02/welcome-to-my-world/ DMs not enabled

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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · Nov 13

"Your sense of humour is so utterly infinitesimal, you're the least funny person I've ever encountered & I know some really unfunny people."

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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 1m

Putin’s embarrassing cancellation of Arab summit signals waning influence in Middle East

Trump’s Gaza summit may bring home to Russia how much Ukraine war has damaged its international standing

www.theguardian.com

Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 21m

Let's pay him by the word!

Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 34m

Absolutely. If he's talking, he's not singing.

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Reposted by Diane Messias

Nan @nancapetown.bsky.social · 1d

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Reposted by Diane Messias

TeeDixie 📎 @teedixie.bsky.social · 9h

What’s that Jeremy? Your private healthcare couldn’t save your life but the NHS could?

People need to think long and hard about voting for Reform, Farage openly says we need insurance based healthcare, but what about people who can’t afford it?

They die. It’s simple.

Paul Marshall @pmarsha11.bsky.social · 1d

Embarrassing Jeremy Clarkson u-turns on his criticism of the NHS after receiving urgent treatment his private care couldn’t provide.

Jeremy Clarkson reneges on NHS criticism after needing urgent treatment

Presenter, who called service ‘a creaking monster’, says he’s ‘eternally grateful’ to medics who aided him

www.independent.co.uk

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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 2h

I rather think it's not Him who thinks we're all guilty, but Cliff Richard:-

"We are all sinners". 🫤

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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 3h

You never know - they're quite good with guilt.

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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 3h

Hope He hasn't lost all hope and topped himself. 😱

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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 3h

I'll let you off as it's you, Simon. 😎

Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 3h

It's certainly not anti-Semitic to oppose genocide whoever the perpetrators are.

Tell God I told you.

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Reposted by Diane Messias

whyitmatters.bsky.social @whyitmatters.bsky.social · 4h

youtube.com/watch?v=F13K...

The Worst Photo Of All "Time" | GOP To Blame For Airport Chaos | No Kings Protests Return

YouTube video by The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

youtube.com

Reposted by Diane Messias

M Meerkat @kackbro.bsky.social · 4h

Maybe Rick Wilson of Lincoln
Project is on to Something.......

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Reposted by Diane Messias

Jolyon Maugham KC @goodlawproject.org · 21h

Woah! So Labour's position really is, 'telling us off for breaching human rights undermines the case for human rights'? Proper Trumpian stuff from Labour's answer to Suella Braverman.

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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 4h

This ought to be impossible by the Laws of Physics, but hey. 🤷‍♀️

#KemiBadenoch The Leader of the Opposition who put the 'bad' into Badenoch.

Peter Smith @redpeter99.bsky.social · 4h

#PMQs is a tough gig for the Leader of the Opposition, but Badenoch appears not to do any presentation.
She's getting worse.

Reposted by Diane Messias

dag @davidallengreen.bsky.social · 4h

NEW

Trying to make sense of the nonsensical decision to drop the Chinese spying prosecutions

How the positions of neither the CPS nor the government stand up to scrutiny

By me

emptycity.substack.com/p/trying-to-...

The more one knows about this case, the more confusing it becomes.

The CPS insists on further evidence it does not require, and the government insists it could not give that evidence, even though it could.

Neither side makes sense, and together they make no sense absolutely.

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Josiah Mortimer @josiah.writes.news · 6h

Zack Polanski: "If the straight question is, ‘would I abolish the monarchy' - yeah, absolutely.”
open.substack.com/pub/abolishw...

Exclusive: Zack Polanski backs Scottish and Welsh independence

The eco-populist Green leader has called for sweeping change to Britain's political system, and spoken about potentially leading an explicitly ‘English’ party for the first time.

open.substack.com

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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 4h

And now the China spying ping pong game...

Starmer: "...based on the last government's position"

Badenoch: "...unbelievable..."

Starmer: "She stated China should not be described as a threat"

Badenoch: "At the end of that quote I did describe China as a threat"

#KemiBadenoch #PMQs

Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 4h

Starmer making statement about the China spying case.

Speaker angrily defending his decision to let Starmer make statement about the China spying case after heckle.

How's Badenoch going to top this?*

*Duh, she isn't. 🙄

#PMQs

Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 4h

I do.

Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 4h

Agree about the importance of the work - or am I being influenced? 🤔

Molly appears to be quite young, so is at least likely to understand her job description.

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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 4h

The book, published last month, also analyses Denis's unexpected friendship with Mandy Rice-Davies, a model and showgirl heavily involved in the 1963 Profumo affair.

He would apparently holiday with Ms Rice-Davies and even sent her letters beginning 'Mandy dear'.

#MargaretThatcher

Margaret Thatcher 'had TWO affairs' while married, new book claims

The Iron Lady described Denis as 'the golden thread running through my life' and, indeed, there was barely a whiff of scandal across the decades they spent in the public eye.

www.dailymail.co.uk

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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 4h

I'm so old, it was never my wish to grow up and become a Nepo Baby.

😢

Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 4h

Best Non-Job Job of the Day

MOLLY CLAYTON INFLUENCER CORRESPONDENT - Mail

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Diane Messias @comedywriter.bsky.social · 4h

Yep.

Reposted by Diane Messias

Peter O’Hanraha-hanrahan @peterohanrahah.bsky.social · 5h

I have been noticing the language used to refer to people by the far right, for refugees and asylum seekers it is very dehumanising.

"invaders"
"fighting age men"
"illegals"

But, yet again this morning I've seem Lucy Connelly referred as a jailed "Mum".

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