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Cosmically Funny

@cosmicallyf.bsky.social

4K followers 3.2K following 16K posts

*Cosmo(Ew/Yuck): Bane of Therapists *Content warning: If you're offended by anything, don't follow me. *Federally funded certified schizophrenic. *ADHD and persistent anxiety. *EDS and lupus spoonie. *Cat. *Adults only. *I am absolutely not responsible.

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Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 12d

Tylenol: Extra strength Epsteinaminophen

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 7h

😎🤣

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 7h

This is my big knife.

short sword

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 8h

If you have a baseball glove and ball to throw in with the bat, your lawyer will thank you if you ever have to use it. Looks less premeditated that way.

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 8h

I'm pretty sure as a diagnosed schizophrenic I can't get a gun here in Washington and it's definitely for the better. I learned to shoot as a kid and was always a pretty good natural shot. I'm not unarmed though. I have a hunting slingshot and a short sword among other acoustic weapons.

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 8h

I didn't actually watch it, but there are clips all over my feed.

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 8h

I don't need a gun. If I ever need a gun, I'd take down a government brownshirt clown with my slingshot and take theirs.

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 8h

The fact I don't own a gun doesn't mean I don't know how to use one.

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 8h

The only thing the Pam Bondi inquisition did was make us have to look at Bondi's smug face.

Reposted by Cosmically Funny

m-m-m-mike☺︎!👻 @m1keonl1ne.bsky.social · 2d

Me: "to be, or not to be?" that is the question

Judge: no the question was, "how do you plead?"

Reposted by Cosmically Funny

CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 12h

Single-panel b/w cartoon by Ellis Rosen.
A guy in a toga presses a key on a small music keyboard in front of him. In the background, stately Classical buildings are threatened by fire.
Caption: "Rome burns as Nero presses 'Demo #3'."

Reposted by Cosmically Funny

iwanttobecanadian.bsky.social @iwanttobecanadian.bsky.social · 12h

Reposted by Cosmically Funny

Carmen Harris🇿🇦 @carmenharris.bsky.social · 12h

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 9h

a group of people are dancing on a red carpet with #timewarp written on the bottom

Alt: a group of people are dancing on a red carpet with #timewarp written on the bottom

media.tenor.com

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 9h

In tuna salad.

Reposted by Cosmically Funny

Carmen Harris🇿🇦 @carmenharris.bsky.social · 12h

Reposted by Cosmically Funny

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · Nov 26

Bob Ross painted the places he hid the bodies.

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 10h

Living in a powder keg and giving off sparks.

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 10h

Sounds like a fill American. Don't forget your gun.

1 egg
2 slices of toast
mug of coffee
2 pounds of bacon
gun

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 10h

Gonna rent a storefront on Main Street to sell artisan ham.
Call it Hog on Main.

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 10h

I should be able to pop the fat off my gut like a giant zit.

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 11h

Security guard: You and that rose need to find a better place than the graveyard to make out.

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 11h

Love me if you dare, but do it from over there.

Reposted by Cosmically Funny

BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 19h

Moisturizing daily with top quality skin lotion, not for me, but for the artisan who’ll one day make me into a table lamp.

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 11h

Everyone always loses.

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 11h

I like to play a game where I eat an entire box of laxatives shortly before a flight in coach.