“ugh he says fade Scottie Scheffler again? arrest his ass”

You fool! I’ll do it for a quarter of Franklin’s salary and I only need a membership to Aronimink!

I gotta say if I was even 50/50 on a guy and he called me personally to make his case, I'm dropping him on principle. (Unless it's Pedroia. Love that guy. Not a HOFer though.)

Having to parent while hung over is probably the single biggest thing that made me cut down on drinking. It's a nightmare!

What's frustrating here is Hassett could easily say "3 months ago you couldn't find gas under $2 per gallon and now they're starting to show up in places like Colorado and Ohio and Texas" and he'd be right and yet he's too dumb to even do 5 minutes of research.

Like in one sitting, Joey Chestnut style?

I’m definitely getting drunk and stoned and then going home and making a Thanksgiving sandwich that offends the Gods old and new

I hate that I laughed at this.

Was that the year they brought in Patricia? god that was the worst

also I need some new follows.

how the turntables…