C
@cwhat.bsky.social
(He/Him) I sometimes write nsfw scripts. I sometimes write sfw scripts. I mostly think I’m hilarious, because someone has to. 49. Adults only here, please.
Pinned
C
@cwhat.bsky.social
· Nov 12
I realized that while I say that I write scripts for audio (both erotic and not), I haven’t posted any here, so please allow me to offer a sampling of my works:
“It’s date night. Show me what you’re wearing for our date.” And I just hold up a mirror in front of you.
December 14, 2025 at 4:52 AM
“It’s date night. Show me what you’re wearing for our date.” And I just hold up a mirror in front of you.
It’s almost Thanksgiving, and I’m looking to stuff you like a turkey.
November 25, 2025 at 4:12 PM
It’s almost Thanksgiving, and I’m looking to stuff you like a turkey.
I’m not going to tell you how long I spent this evening looking for the SNL skit of Will Ferrell as George W Bush where he says about the Capitol “that big tit building is on fire again.”
November 21, 2025 at 12:13 AM
I’m not going to tell you how long I spent this evening looking for the SNL skit of Will Ferrell as George W Bush where he says about the Capitol “that big tit building is on fire again.”
Just one? Pssh. Amateur. Why, sometimes I’ve had as many a six concerns before breakfast.
November 12, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Just one? Pssh. Amateur. Why, sometimes I’ve had as many a six concerns before breakfast.
Me, ignoring all the warning signs of an inevitable breakdown.
November 11, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Me, ignoring all the warning signs of an inevitable breakdown.
*buzzes in*
What is something my southern family has never said?
Let’s switch the category and go with Potent Potables for 200, Ken.
What is something my southern family has never said?
Let’s switch the category and go with Potent Potables for 200, Ken.
November 11, 2025 at 5:41 PM
*buzzes in*
What is something my southern family has never said?
Let’s switch the category and go with Potent Potables for 200, Ken.
What is something my southern family has never said?
Let’s switch the category and go with Potent Potables for 200, Ken.
Well fuck.
Don’t mind me. Just frantically updating my resume because I might or might not want this job but I have to apply today and don’t get any time to think about it.
October 17, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Well fuck.
Don’t mind me. Just frantically updating my resume because I might or might not want this job but I have to apply today and don’t get any time to think about it.
September 25, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Don’t mind me. Just frantically updating my resume because I might or might not want this job but I have to apply today and don’t get any time to think about it.
How am I doing? Well, someone told me that I was doing a good job today, and I immediately started to cry, so…I’m doing great. HBU?
September 11, 2025 at 7:46 PM
How am I doing? Well, someone told me that I was doing a good job today, and I immediately started to cry, so…I’m doing great. HBU?
I’ve been struggling a lot in recent months, and it’s left me no capacity to exist here. I realize this means I’ve ghosted multiple friends, which is hurtful. That wasn’t what I meant to do, but that doesn’t mean it’s not shitty—just that I’m a regular piece of shit rather than a malicious one.
bart simpson is giving a speech at a podium while homer simpson is standing in the doorway
ALT: bart simpson is giving a speech at a podium while homer simpson is standing in the doorway
media.tenor.com
July 3, 2025 at 3:31 PM
I’ve been struggling a lot in recent months, and it’s left me no capacity to exist here. I realize this means I’ve ghosted multiple friends, which is hurtful. That wasn’t what I meant to do, but that doesn’t mean it’s not shitty—just that I’m a regular piece of shit rather than a malicious one.
Update: Nope.
I’m not feeling feral. I’m not feeling particularly clever. I’m not feeling much of anything other than gotta-make-it-through type energy. But it’s cool. We’re fine. We’re all fine here now. How are you?
I’m not feeling feral. I’m not feeling particularly clever. I’m not feeling much of anything other than gotta-make-it-through type energy. But it’s cool. We’re fine. We’re all fine here now. How are you?
You may (or may not, I don’t know my presence in anyone’s thoughts) have noticed that I am not saying much. I am currently turtling and retreating into my shell, because that’s what I do sometimes. Everything is fine—fine-ish—but also a lot.
(Yes, I’m aware this is not a healthy coping mechanism.)
(Yes, I’m aware this is not a healthy coping mechanism.)
a large tortoise is eating a green leaf
Alt: A large tortoise is walking then rapidly withdraws into its shell.
media.tenor.com
April 14, 2025 at 11:50 AM
Update: Nope.
I’m not feeling feral. I’m not feeling particularly clever. I’m not feeling much of anything other than gotta-make-it-through type energy. But it’s cool. We’re fine. We’re all fine here now. How are you?
I’m not feeling feral. I’m not feeling particularly clever. I’m not feeling much of anything other than gotta-make-it-through type energy. But it’s cool. We’re fine. We’re all fine here now. How are you?
Trying to explain to Bowser why he can’t just take over a kingdom.
April 11, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Trying to explain to Bowser why he can’t just take over a kingdom.
Looking at that ass like:
April 11, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Looking at that ass like:
When Sir Mix-a-lot said “But I’m a brother with a gut, so, hello Keana, can you take us out to Pappadeaux’s” I felt that.
Honestly, one of the most relatable lines in all of music.
Honestly, one of the most relatable lines in all of music.
April 9, 2025 at 4:33 PM
When Sir Mix-a-lot said “But I’m a brother with a gut, so, hello Keana, can you take us out to Pappadeaux’s” I felt that.
Honestly, one of the most relatable lines in all of music.
Honestly, one of the most relatable lines in all of music.
Reposted by C
Commissions Now Open - I am cautiously opening up **two** commission slots now that I’m a bit more settled.
All the information can be found here:
purplestpeli.carrd.co
All the information can be found here:
purplestpeli.carrd.co
April 8, 2025 at 2:50 PM
Commissions Now Open - I am cautiously opening up **two** commission slots now that I’m a bit more settled.
All the information can be found here:
purplestpeli.carrd.co
All the information can be found here:
purplestpeli.carrd.co
You may (or may not, I don’t know my presence in anyone’s thoughts) have noticed that I am not saying much. I am currently turtling and retreating into my shell, because that’s what I do sometimes. Everything is fine—fine-ish—but also a lot.
(Yes, I’m aware this is not a healthy coping mechanism.)
(Yes, I’m aware this is not a healthy coping mechanism.)
a large tortoise is eating a green leaf
Alt: A large tortoise is walking then rapidly withdraws into its shell.
media.tenor.com
April 7, 2025 at 12:11 PM
You may (or may not, I don’t know my presence in anyone’s thoughts) have noticed that I am not saying much. I am currently turtling and retreating into my shell, because that’s what I do sometimes. Everything is fine—fine-ish—but also a lot.
(Yes, I’m aware this is not a healthy coping mechanism.)
(Yes, I’m aware this is not a healthy coping mechanism.)
I am not ready for this week to start. I need more weekend, but one that actually feels like a weekend.
March 31, 2025 at 12:19 PM
I am not ready for this week to start. I need more weekend, but one that actually feels like a weekend.
Me pretty much all the time:
March 30, 2025 at 7:52 PM
Me pretty much all the time:
When I grab a thing of chex mix and watch tv.
March 30, 2025 at 7:48 PM
When I grab a thing of chex mix and watch tv.
Gourmets in Paris was my favorite song on the clean version of Watch The Throne.
March 28, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Gourmets in Paris was my favorite song on the clean version of Watch The Throne.