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danmentos.com
dan mentos
@danmentos.com
19K followers 350 following 1.7K posts
it’s too late I’ve ruined it
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lanyardigan.bsky.social
lanyardigan @lanyardigan.bsky.social · Jan 7
This is my post-baby body (I used to be a baby)
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 1h
professor the next morning: holy shit
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 2h
a trigger warning would have been nice I thought this was real
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 3h
8 hours? wow no need to brag
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 4h
every documentary needs a foil
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 6h
🏆
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Reposted by dan mentos
captainacab.airbud.website
alboo @captainacab.airbud.website · 2d
[coworker asks me what my plans are this weekend]

me: am i being detained?
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 2d
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road but its about going back to Fark
weeder.bsky.social
weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 2d
Everyone is leaving bluesky and going to Fark.com
2 2 37
Reposted by dan mentos
weeder.bsky.social
weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 2d
So Hulk Hogan, why are you a great candidate for the Administrative Assistant position?

Hulk Hogan:
An app icon of a printer/scanner combo and the app name "brother iPrint&Scan"
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 2d
sure pal enjoy your second-hand light. meanwhile I'll be staring directly at the source
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 3d
every year I procrastinate and end up using the previous year’s costume, and every year I have to explain to more and more people who ken bone was
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 3d
a man in a suit and tie says our long national nightmare is over .
Alt: Gerald Ford: Our long national nightmare is over
media.tenor.com
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 3d
look at all these fuckin oranges
a field of pumpkins on the ground
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 4d
having my dojo fumigated
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 4d
fox news: the cuke was no angel
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 5d
can you give me a hint
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Reposted by dan mentos
jcsalterego.bsky.social
Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 5d
no! NO!!
a chyron reads "FORMER ANTIFA MEMBER SPEAKS OUT". the interviewee is grimace
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 5d
Fox News "Former Antifa Member Speaks Out" story with Jerry as "former antifa member"
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Reposted by dan mentos
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · Oct 14
sorry I can't come to your thing I have a spooktacular
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 6d
close, larry
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Reposted by dan mentos
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · Aug 24
not to brag but I’m dating a model (a large language model)
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 6d
oh no did you ask it to solve the jerry problem
14
Reposted by dan mentos
ygrene.bsky.social
Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · Oct 21
[first day as a doctor]

me: inside of you are two wolves

patient: …you mean lungs?

me: (looking at x-ray again) you know what
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 6d
sorry but I refuse to "heart" or "like" or even "fave" this. I will, however, send this directly to you: ❤️
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 7d
please patent whatever algorithm constantly puts jerry in the discover feed. it cannot be allowed to escape containment
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