Gold, Frankincense and Sensibility. Christmas in Jane Austen's house.

It’s never not funny that most oaths are done this way. Any time anyone uses anything other than a Bible, folks freak out and say “No no no — it only counts if you use the book that forbids swearing oaths and says they come from the ‘evil one.’”

I was with you until the part where Mr Morgan implied (perhaps unintentionally) that Mr Fuentes' views should be dismissed because of his sexual history (or lack of sexual history). Mr Fuentes' views should be dismissed because they are a steaming pile of vomit. His sexual history is irrelevant.

She is speechless now. 🤣🤣

Is that why my girlfriend keeps taking me to look for seaglass? Am I her dog?

I was slightly terrified she was going to end with a whistle lodged in her soft pallette

Absolutely fantastic

Ian Paisley Senior or Ian Paisley Junior? One of those is a much worse bunting.

Also, if you're going for a Paisleyite theme, surely the correct decorations would be a Major Ronald Bunting?

(You might need to Google Major R Bunting. I'll see myself out)

...an excuse to trot out the Finest* Joke Of All Time

Q: What runs up and down Coronation Street laughing?

A: Hyena Sharples

(*I will not be entering into correspondence at this time)

Failing that, perhaps another Christian denomination may be able to accommodate our brothers and sisters. I appreciate that December is a busy time in church buildings, but there's almost certainly somewhere suitable.