David Carter
@davidcarter.bsky.social
Comedian, Actor, Writer, & Maker of Lists
Reposted by David Carter
We’re getting closer to our May 14th show at the Lincoln Lodge so check out a fun vid from our last show!
April 25, 2025 at 7:02 PM
We’re getting closer to our May 14th show at the Lincoln Lodge so check out a fun vid from our last show!
Smash burgers are overrated and no chef can claim them. You’re not introducing smash burgers to.. wherever. You’re squishing a patty. Why is it $17? A child can make this.
April 21, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Smash burgers are overrated and no chef can claim them. You’re not introducing smash burgers to.. wherever. You’re squishing a patty. Why is it $17? A child can make this.
Reposted by David Carter
We got another special one off show coming up this next Sunday, March 30th at 6 pm, taking place at DMen tap in Chicago. We’d love to see you there, but only if you love having fun in a dope ass bar with good buds
March 22, 2025 at 9:05 PM
We got another special one off show coming up this next Sunday, March 30th at 6 pm, taking place at DMen tap in Chicago. We’d love to see you there, but only if you love having fun in a dope ass bar with good buds
Ash: Purrcoset evolved into Katamine!
Officer Jenny: Put the knife down or I will be forced to shoot!
Officer Jenny: Put the knife down or I will be forced to shoot!
March 22, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Ash: Purrcoset evolved into Katamine!
Officer Jenny: Put the knife down or I will be forced to shoot!
Officer Jenny: Put the knife down or I will be forced to shoot!
Me: "Monogamy is forcefully prescribed to involuntary participants. Evolutionarily, we aren't meant to do that. That's not how sex or love work anymore."
Steve Harvey: "I'm sorry. The number one answer to 'Things you put cheese on' was 'Macaroni'. 'Macaroni' had 48 points."
Steve Harvey: "I'm sorry. The number one answer to 'Things you put cheese on' was 'Macaroni'. 'Macaroni' had 48 points."
March 17, 2025 at 2:43 PM
Me: "Monogamy is forcefully prescribed to involuntary participants. Evolutionarily, we aren't meant to do that. That's not how sex or love work anymore."
Steve Harvey: "I'm sorry. The number one answer to 'Things you put cheese on' was 'Macaroni'. 'Macaroni' had 48 points."
Steve Harvey: "I'm sorry. The number one answer to 'Things you put cheese on' was 'Macaroni'. 'Macaroni' had 48 points."
Here’s the irony. Kendrick needs Drake fans. Because if nobody liked Drake, than everyone WOULD be like us, and that song wouldn’t cut the MUSTARD
…someone gave me a weed pen as a gift and I decided to hit it right before bed.
…someone gave me a weed pen as a gift and I decided to hit it right before bed.
February 16, 2025 at 6:28 AM
Here’s the irony. Kendrick needs Drake fans. Because if nobody liked Drake, than everyone WOULD be like us, and that song wouldn’t cut the MUSTARD
…someone gave me a weed pen as a gift and I decided to hit it right before bed.
…someone gave me a weed pen as a gift and I decided to hit it right before bed.
Reposted by David Carter
It’s our cast and characters for our Thirst For Adventure show tomorrow at Lincoln Lodge at 7 PM. Romance is in the air, as well as a few fire bolts and lightning arrows, for our boy Gnomeo
February 12, 2025 at 2:47 AM
It’s our cast and characters for our Thirst For Adventure show tomorrow at Lincoln Lodge at 7 PM. Romance is in the air, as well as a few fire bolts and lightning arrows, for our boy Gnomeo
Reposted by David Carter
Yall got to be at this show at the Lincoln Lodge on Wednesday at 7pm. We got a lot of hijinks planned but most importantly, dreamboat surfer dude elf
February 9, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Yall got to be at this show at the Lincoln Lodge on Wednesday at 7pm. We got a lot of hijinks planned but most importantly, dreamboat surfer dude elf
Reposted by David Carter
Oh wow, it’s less than a week away. Get ready to fall in love again with Gnomeo! 7 pm, Feb 12, Lincoln Lodge! CHICAGO!!!
February 6, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Oh wow, it’s less than a week away. Get ready to fall in love again with Gnomeo! 7 pm, Feb 12, Lincoln Lodge! CHICAGO!!!
Dear @mcuban.bsky.social
Your wealth is illicit and immoral. You are not the good guy.
Your wealth is illicit and immoral. You are not the good guy.
Dear @Doge
If there is nothing to hide. Hide nothing
If there is nothing to hide. Hide nothing
February 7, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Dear @mcuban.bsky.social
Your wealth is illicit and immoral. You are not the good guy.
Your wealth is illicit and immoral. You are not the good guy.
🚨BREAKING: DOGE staffer and Roblox player “JizzleStain” has deleted the social security numbers of all his mother’s boyfriends, resulting in their deportation to Chad, an African country Elon Musk has renamed GigaChad.
February 7, 2025 at 4:39 PM
🚨BREAKING: DOGE staffer and Roblox player “JizzleStain” has deleted the social security numbers of all his mother’s boyfriends, resulting in their deportation to Chad, an African country Elon Musk has renamed GigaChad.
Postering about international policy while being the EXACT reason why America is ripped apart by class, why poverty exists. All billionaires are unethical and immoral. Don’t believe his fake empathy.
I can see it now. First you build hotels in Gaza. Then of course you go to the Ukraine. Find nothing but the best land and rebuild. ..
You can train the staff at Mar a Lago ....
You can train the staff at Mar a Lago ....
February 6, 2025 at 4:41 AM
Postering about international policy while being the EXACT reason why America is ripped apart by class, why poverty exists. All billionaires are unethical and immoral. Don’t believe his fake empathy.
I’m not doing the research to find out if this guy is actually part of THE Rothschild family, but it’s just fun to think. It’s like if Anderson Vanderbilt Cooper screamed “Someone help us!”
What if there were a coup, the US government fell to a drug-addled oligarch who seized control of our money, secrets, and levers of power, and Corporate media did not report on it?
February 4, 2025 at 3:22 PM
I’m not doing the research to find out if this guy is actually part of THE Rothschild family, but it’s just fun to think. It’s like if Anderson Vanderbilt Cooper screamed “Someone help us!”
Altar boys always sounded sacrificial to me. “Three proud boys have come forward with allegations” sounds empowering.
February 4, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Altar boys always sounded sacrificial to me. “Three proud boys have come forward with allegations” sounds empowering.
Narrator: But the rich guy hat never left his head. Mark Cuban is a billionaire, a policy failure, an unethical and immoral hoarder of wealth, and an abuser of the working class. He doesn’t care about you.
I’m going to put my rich guy hat on and say I hope that Mexico and Canada issue equal, retaliatory tariffs and stick to them for an extended period.
I apologize to all the people it will cost money and the businesses it will hurt.
But it’s the only way for tariffs to be seen for what they are
I apologize to all the people it will cost money and the businesses it will hurt.
But it’s the only way for tariffs to be seen for what they are
February 2, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Narrator: But the rich guy hat never left his head. Mark Cuban is a billionaire, a policy failure, an unethical and immoral hoarder of wealth, and an abuser of the working class. He doesn’t care about you.
These new Trump tariffs sure are gonna hurt ppl who can afford to buy things. I think I’m safe.
February 2, 2025 at 12:32 AM
These new Trump tariffs sure are gonna hurt ppl who can afford to buy things. I think I’m safe.
sounds the same to me
February 2, 2025 at 12:30 AM
sounds the same to me
Reposted by David Carter
*bangs pots and pans together* SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY! 6 PM! AT THE BEST BAR IN CHICAGO (Dmen Tap)!
January 25, 2025 at 5:47 PM
*bangs pots and pans together* SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY! 6 PM! AT THE BEST BAR IN CHICAGO (Dmen Tap)!
Reposted by David Carter
Once again, go or: we cry AND barf and no one wants that
bad news: i will be wearing a fedora and sunglasses for the show next weekend to immerse myself in this character @thirstforadventure.bsky.social
January 20, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Once again, go or: we cry AND barf and no one wants that
Reposted by David Carter
If you don’t go to this show, we will cry AND barf!
bonus show this month!? with @thirstforadventure.bsky.social?! poster!!@?!?
January 20, 2025 at 11:14 PM
If you don’t go to this show, we will cry AND barf!
Remember, Chicago,
You do not have to open the door if ICE comes knocking.
Encourage everyone to stay silent. We are a sanctuary city.
The storm troopers are never the good guys, and neither are their legal accomplices.
You do not have to open the door if ICE comes knocking.
Encourage everyone to stay silent. We are a sanctuary city.
The storm troopers are never the good guys, and neither are their legal accomplices.
January 19, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Remember, Chicago,
You do not have to open the door if ICE comes knocking.
Encourage everyone to stay silent. We are a sanctuary city.
The storm troopers are never the good guys, and neither are their legal accomplices.
You do not have to open the door if ICE comes knocking.
Encourage everyone to stay silent. We are a sanctuary city.
The storm troopers are never the good guys, and neither are their legal accomplices.
Reposted by David Carter
Choose your fighter
January 6, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Choose your fighter
*Tik Toker approaches me on the street*
TT: HEY! What song are you listening to?
Me: I don’t have music in my heart anymore, dude. I used to. I’m sorry
TT: What?
Me: I’m like a news guy. It fuels my anxiety & makes me feel artificially smart
TT: Alright. Nevermind
Me: Did I do something wrong?
TT: HEY! What song are you listening to?
Me: I don’t have music in my heart anymore, dude. I used to. I’m sorry
TT: What?
Me: I’m like a news guy. It fuels my anxiety & makes me feel artificially smart
TT: Alright. Nevermind
Me: Did I do something wrong?
December 2, 2024 at 4:00 PM
*Tik Toker approaches me on the street*
TT: HEY! What song are you listening to?
Me: I don’t have music in my heart anymore, dude. I used to. I’m sorry
TT: What?
Me: I’m like a news guy. It fuels my anxiety & makes me feel artificially smart
TT: Alright. Nevermind
Me: Did I do something wrong?
TT: HEY! What song are you listening to?
Me: I don’t have music in my heart anymore, dude. I used to. I’m sorry
TT: What?
Me: I’m like a news guy. It fuels my anxiety & makes me feel artificially smart
TT: Alright. Nevermind
Me: Did I do something wrong?
I’m not “finding accounts to follow”. Someone give me a button that transfers the twitter profiles I follow over here.
December 2, 2024 at 5:26 AM
I’m not “finding accounts to follow”. Someone give me a button that transfers the twitter profiles I follow over here.