Dimitri Allen
@dimitriallen.bsky.social
Scientist and amateur bartender
(Parody account)
(Parody account)
Where did you all come from…
April 12, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Where did you all come from…
There’s a fly in the lab. How did it get down here.
March 28, 2025 at 1:35 AM
There’s a fly in the lab. How did it get down here.
If we’re sticking anyone in the basement it will be him.
March 22, 2025 at 2:44 AM
If we’re sticking anyone in the basement it will be him.
Oh Jesus Christ. Get the basement ready.
March 19, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Oh Jesus Christ. Get the basement ready.
Pardon??? No, Claire is in the kitchen with..
Well, there’s another child here. I suppose we always have room for one more. I’ve been working, so I haven’t had the chance to see them yet.
Well, there’s another child here. I suppose we always have room for one more. I’ve been working, so I haven’t had the chance to see them yet.
March 2, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Pardon??? No, Claire is in the kitchen with..
Well, there’s another child here. I suppose we always have room for one more. I’ve been working, so I haven’t had the chance to see them yet.
Well, there’s another child here. I suppose we always have room for one more. I’ve been working, so I haven’t had the chance to see them yet.
Of course you may.
February 27, 2025 at 2:38 AM
Of course you may.
Clive introduced me to it, as a matter of fact.
February 25, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Clive introduced me to it, as a matter of fact.
I think, perhaps, I was a little unclear. Yes, they are my family. I meant in a more biological sense. I can hardly handle myself, I cannot imagine having to deal with a miniature version. I’m quite content with what I have at the moment.
February 24, 2025 at 9:17 PM
I think, perhaps, I was a little unclear. Yes, they are my family. I meant in a more biological sense. I can hardly handle myself, I cannot imagine having to deal with a miniature version. I’m quite content with what I have at the moment.
Honestly, the thought hadn’t much crossed my mind. Settling down and starting a family has never much appealed to me. I prefer an intellectual connection over a physical one either way. That is to say, such activities do not interest me.
Theodore is enough for me.
Theodore is enough for me.
February 24, 2025 at 12:07 PM
Honestly, the thought hadn’t much crossed my mind. Settling down and starting a family has never much appealed to me. I prefer an intellectual connection over a physical one either way. That is to say, such activities do not interest me.
Theodore is enough for me.
Theodore is enough for me.
Hello there, Flora!
February 24, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Hello there, Flora!
Thank you very much! Personally, I find Claire much cuter than I, though I presume you mean that your find our relationship cute. I wouldn’t call myself ‘cute’.
February 23, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Thank you very much! Personally, I find Claire much cuter than I, though I presume you mean that your find our relationship cute. I wouldn’t call myself ‘cute’.
Why, thank you, anonymous person inside of my phone. I love you too.
February 23, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Why, thank you, anonymous person inside of my phone. I love you too.
Hello, little Randall. I hope you’re going well!
February 23, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Hello, little Randall. I hope you’re going well!
Aha! I must admit, I don’t quite have the words to express my gratitude for this drawing. Such talent is remarkable. And the picture itself is very sweet. Thank you, sincerely.
February 23, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Aha! I must admit, I don’t quite have the words to express my gratitude for this drawing. Such talent is remarkable. And the picture itself is very sweet. Thank you, sincerely.
I do not like what you’re implying here. I have not tampered with her memories. I do not appreciate such an accusation, and I do not take it lightly.
February 23, 2025 at 11:09 PM
I do not like what you’re implying here. I have not tampered with her memories. I do not appreciate such an accusation, and I do not take it lightly.
Hello.
Perhaps I should reiterate once more that my name is Dimitri. D-I-M-I-T-R-I.
Perhaps I should reiterate once more that my name is Dimitri. D-I-M-I-T-R-I.
February 23, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Hello.
Perhaps I should reiterate once more that my name is Dimitri. D-I-M-I-T-R-I.
Perhaps I should reiterate once more that my name is Dimitri. D-I-M-I-T-R-I.
If only it were eyeshadow, my friend, and not the product of many sleepless nights. Then, I suppose, it would be ‘killer’.
February 23, 2025 at 11:06 PM
If only it were eyeshadow, my friend, and not the product of many sleepless nights. Then, I suppose, it would be ‘killer’.
What on earth…?
February 12, 2025 at 9:17 PM
What on earth…?
Very good!
See, and now we have a good filling sandwich. Tell me what you think.
See, and now we have a good filling sandwich. Tell me what you think.
February 12, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Very good!
See, and now we have a good filling sandwich. Tell me what you think.
See, and now we have a good filling sandwich. Tell me what you think.
I’ve begun to feel a bit disoriented. This is less than ideal timing.
February 9, 2025 at 5:32 PM
I’ve begun to feel a bit disoriented. This is less than ideal timing.
Well, I wasn’t planning on eating anything. The idea slipped my mind.
Here. Your chicken nuggets. If you’re still hungry, I can find you something else as well.
Here. Your chicken nuggets. If you’re still hungry, I can find you something else as well.
February 8, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Well, I wasn’t planning on eating anything. The idea slipped my mind.
Here. Your chicken nuggets. If you’re still hungry, I can find you something else as well.
Here. Your chicken nuggets. If you’re still hungry, I can find you something else as well.
Allergies are foods that make you sick, yes. But it’s moreso that it doesn’t make everyone sick, just certain people. It often happens with foods like nuts and shellfish.
It’s nothing fancy, but I haven’t had the time to go shopping recently. Perhaps we can do it together, if you’d like.
It’s nothing fancy, but I haven’t had the time to go shopping recently. Perhaps we can do it together, if you’d like.
February 8, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Allergies are foods that make you sick, yes. But it’s moreso that it doesn’t make everyone sick, just certain people. It often happens with foods like nuts and shellfish.
It’s nothing fancy, but I haven’t had the time to go shopping recently. Perhaps we can do it together, if you’d like.
It’s nothing fancy, but I haven’t had the time to go shopping recently. Perhaps we can do it together, if you’d like.