Doctor Vortex
@drvortex.bsky.social
Mercurial about the inane; passionate about the arcane. Awaiting Space Force 2: the Search For Frivolous Life
In fifth grade lore, the Fitz and the Tantrums can make your hands crap *fart fart fart fart fart fart*
December 29, 2025 at 3:11 PM
In fifth grade lore, the Fitz and the Tantrums can make your hands crap *fart fart fart fart fart fart*
Considering the trifecta of Superman, Goonies, and Scrooged alone, I’m starting to think Richard Donner was grooming me on some topics around kindness and justice
December 19, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Considering the trifecta of Superman, Goonies, and Scrooged alone, I’m starting to think Richard Donner was grooming me on some topics around kindness and justice
Is anyone out there calling him Bill Nighy the science guyhy? I feel it in my fingers that you want to
December 19, 2025 at 4:15 AM
Is anyone out there calling him Bill Nighy the science guyhy? I feel it in my fingers that you want to
Does anyone remember the darth Vader shampoo bottles when the first movie came out? Why don’t they do that with liquor bottles? In this essay I will present you with the business case for Pinot Grievous…
October 24, 2025 at 1:32 PM
Does anyone remember the darth Vader shampoo bottles when the first movie came out? Why don’t they do that with liquor bottles? In this essay I will present you with the business case for Pinot Grievous…
Routes to deliciousness are closed until international deals broker their reopening!
Fritolaysia Cuts Off Chiplomatic Relations With Snakistan https://theonion.com/fritolaysia-cuts-off-chiplomatic-relations-with-snakist-1819568143/
September 27, 2025 at 1:11 AM
Routes to deliciousness are closed until international deals broker their reopening!
Yeah, this tracks
Dam been writing a book about this and she just TikToked it in 90 seconds.
September 20, 2025 at 12:56 PM
Yeah, this tracks
I don’t always remember how to describe steppes, but I often pronounce steps as step-pes, like the extra syllable is going to mean more complicated instructions
August 18, 2025 at 10:14 PM
I don’t always remember how to describe steppes, but I often pronounce steps as step-pes, like the extra syllable is going to mean more complicated instructions
I’m all for the childsplaining I’m enduring in my own household regarding k pop demon hunters
July 31, 2025 at 2:02 AM
I’m all for the childsplaining I’m enduring in my own household regarding k pop demon hunters
Is it there in your fartache? Waiting on some beautiful boy
July 24, 2025 at 2:43 PM
Is it there in your fartache? Waiting on some beautiful boy
I don’t think Wendy’s Superbar is an option, but is there a way I can sample all of Mountain Dew’s and Doritos’s fine flavors on a single session?
July 19, 2025 at 6:52 PM
I don’t think Wendy’s Superbar is an option, but is there a way I can sample all of Mountain Dew’s and Doritos’s fine flavors on a single session?
Agreed, the malevolence that is well funded will beget more malevolence
I don’t think anyone is prepared for what they just did w/ ICE.
This is not a simple budget increase. It is an explosion - making ICE bigger than the FBI, US Bureau of Prisons, DEA,& others combined.
It is setting up to make what’s happening now look like child’s play. And people are disappearing.
This is not a simple budget increase. It is an explosion - making ICE bigger than the FBI, US Bureau of Prisons, DEA,& others combined.
It is setting up to make what’s happening now look like child’s play. And people are disappearing.
July 5, 2025 at 2:02 AM
Agreed, the malevolence that is well funded will beget more malevolence
The guy who made this yacht rock Spotify playlist has a pretty loose definition of that genre that’s sure to offend, even by the garbage standard this genre has evolved to.
July 2, 2025 at 4:40 PM
The guy who made this yacht rock Spotify playlist has a pretty loose definition of that genre that’s sure to offend, even by the garbage standard this genre has evolved to.
Apologies for not focusing on the protests, but what makes lunch think it’s so special that it can have a luncheon but people are so intolerant of my breakfasteon ideas?
June 14, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Apologies for not focusing on the protests, but what makes lunch think it’s so special that it can have a luncheon but people are so intolerant of my breakfasteon ideas?
Just once I wish I had misread/misheard the thing and it was actually an All Hams meeting
June 11, 2025 at 2:02 PM
Just once I wish I had misread/misheard the thing and it was actually an All Hams meeting
I have this notion that everyone understands the song ‘I Love LA’ is garbage, but it’s harmless garbage, and if you’re from that local city area, it’s your garbage that you’ll defend. This is akin to Eagle Man in Chicago
June 10, 2025 at 2:38 PM
I have this notion that everyone understands the song ‘I Love LA’ is garbage, but it’s harmless garbage, and if you’re from that local city area, it’s your garbage that you’ll defend. This is akin to Eagle Man in Chicago
It’s kind of a funny thing that humans are compelled to wave to each other when on boat to shore and vice versa. As long as this shared humanity and compassion for strangers endures, I believe humans can overcome the manufactured strife that keeps us apart. /glib
June 5, 2025 at 1:54 PM
It’s kind of a funny thing that humans are compelled to wave to each other when on boat to shore and vice versa. As long as this shared humanity and compassion for strangers endures, I believe humans can overcome the manufactured strife that keeps us apart. /glib
Recently occurred to me that if honeycombs contain honey, it’s safe to assume I’m going to find the cats in the catacombs. Nothing scary about looking for undead cats underneath the city of Paris…
May 29, 2025 at 12:47 AM
Recently occurred to me that if honeycombs contain honey, it’s safe to assume I’m going to find the cats in the catacombs. Nothing scary about looking for undead cats underneath the city of Paris…
Sometimes I get sad that the internet doesn’t have literal doorbuster videos where the focus is more on some dude’s hatred for doors and less on the 75” flat screen he’s grabbing inside
May 27, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Sometimes I get sad that the internet doesn’t have literal doorbuster videos where the focus is more on some dude’s hatred for doors and less on the 75” flat screen he’s grabbing inside
Every year I hope it’s the year that met in Met Gala is short for metric and that I get to see Jessica Chastain wearing a pristinely designed decaliter
May 6, 2025 at 1:16 PM
Every year I hope it’s the year that met in Met Gala is short for metric and that I get to see Jessica Chastain wearing a pristinely designed decaliter
Somewhat disappointed to learn that Hello Kitty is not called Bonjour Chatte in France
April 20, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Somewhat disappointed to learn that Hello Kitty is not called Bonjour Chatte in France
I didn’t expect to be enamored by a Midwest arch. The giant steel construct dazzled inside and out. Why did mankind build things to show its abilities to the world and now seeks to undo, destroy, or otherwise obfuscate its knowledge and prowess? Also holy shit this thing evokes some Halo feelings
April 2, 2025 at 3:25 AM
I didn’t expect to be enamored by a Midwest arch. The giant steel construct dazzled inside and out. Why did mankind build things to show its abilities to the world and now seeks to undo, destroy, or otherwise obfuscate its knowledge and prowess? Also holy shit this thing evokes some Halo feelings
Oof gym playlist has a Darude ripoff song. Unbeknownst to me, guy played himself. No change in formula or sound banks chosen. Lingering disappointment is in the fact that this song wasn’t called seastorm or something like that
March 30, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Oof gym playlist has a Darude ripoff song. Unbeknownst to me, guy played himself. No change in formula or sound banks chosen. Lingering disappointment is in the fact that this song wasn’t called seastorm or something like that
Reposted by Doctor Vortex
#ProudBlue The Downers Grove Library (IL) is stepping up to help people who need to see someone from Social Security. FYI, if you’re in the area… other libraries may be doing the same. Another reason the GOP will be attacking them.
March 27, 2025 at 4:01 PM
#ProudBlue The Downers Grove Library (IL) is stepping up to help people who need to see someone from Social Security. FYI, if you’re in the area… other libraries may be doing the same. Another reason the GOP will be attacking them.
Congrats Mark Feisbu. Finding myself liking more ig content in case others are creeping on my likes like I am to theirs. Apologies in advance if you see some likes on people trying to be sexy, those were accidental double clicks I forgot to undo.
March 27, 2025 at 4:10 AM
Congrats Mark Feisbu. Finding myself liking more ig content in case others are creeping on my likes like I am to theirs. Apologies in advance if you see some likes on people trying to be sexy, those were accidental double clicks I forgot to undo.
Just watched Jojo Rabbit and I’m projecting too much of what could be our United States in a few years. I am grateful my kids have not expressed any kind of blind fealty to the current president
March 17, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Just watched Jojo Rabbit and I’m projecting too much of what could be our United States in a few years. I am grateful my kids have not expressed any kind of blind fealty to the current president