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Eephus Tosser

@eephustosser.bsky.social

1.1K followers 470 following 4.7K posts

West coast MLB Draft prospect analyst. Views are my own and almost exclusively bad. ✡️ Big West Conference musings at https://bigwestdugout.com/

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · Nov 22

Stop fact-checking my shitposts.

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 4h

I regret that I have but one like to give this.

Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 4h

I think every loathsome, successful person should get an era at the end of their career where they’re still loathsome but no longer successful. It's good for public morale.

Chris Towers is in Offseason Mode @cptowers.bsky.social · 4h

Bill Belichick won 10 games with Matt Cassell and then made the playoffs with Mac Jones, so I don't think the UNC thing necessarily proves that he was always a fraud, like some folks are saying.

I think it proves he is *currently* a fraud, though.

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 5h

Finally, a little respect for Lady Ta’an.

Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 17h

No balls, two strikes, you get him to chase on a triple-digit four-seamer at his armpit and he doinks it off the fair pole. What a sport.

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 17h

How the heck do you get around on this pitch?

I can't stand him, but Aaron Judge is such a great hitter, man.

Razzball @razzball.bsky.social · 17h

AARON JUDGE FOUL POLE

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 18h

Remarkable.

A screenshot from an Instagram post: "Is It Okay To Root For The Dodgers? Fans Torn Between Love of Game and Fascism."

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 18h

Thinking about the time when the Dodgers said the Yankees played sloppy defense and the Yankees got very mad and I guess decided to keep playing sloppy defense out of spite.

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 22h

I would go so far as to say that competing for a playoff spot until the very last day of the season despite an IL that could win the AL Central is a mark in his favor.

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 1d

Imagining the Texas National Guardsmen writing teary heart-felt letters to their sweethearts back home the first time they encounter the strange phenomenon of "pedestrians."

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 1d

Blake Treinen paying homage to Charlie Kirk by stinking to high heaven.

Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 1d

Haha sorry, I didn't even scroll up to see the rest of the thread.

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 1d

I'm sure there's nothing to the Red Sox scapegoat following Mookie and J.D. to the Dodgers, them immediately winning a World Series, and now they mysteriously have everyone's signs in the postseason. The Reds' top ten pitching staff were surely just "all tipping their pitches." Nothing to see here.

Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 1d

That's why I say "whatever moral high ground existed." Like, even if we concede 2017—something we absolutely should not do—that man is CURRENTLY working for that team.

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 1d

Man, whatever moral high ground once existed eroded the second the Dodgers hired J.T. Watkins.

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 2d

In the Plaschke tradition.

Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 2d

If the Mariners hold on to win, this game could prove to be Finnegan's wake.

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 2d

Alden González does not know who Jorge Polanco is because Alden González does not watch baseball outside of L.A.

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 2d

Mariners vs. Tigers is the plot of Life of Pi btw.

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 2d

Man, I just picked so many apples yesterday. I'm not going to a grocery store for more.

Three bags filled with Red Rome, Fuji, and Evercrisp apples.

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 2d

Same guy who wrote this btw.

Sorry, but reality is reality. The Jays are a fine team and organization. They've made the playoffs three of the last five years. Toronto is a beautiful city, too, but for non-hockey sports, there's a small-time feel to the place.

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 2d

Look. I only know one Chappel Roan song. I cannot scale this joke.

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 2d

Call me Apple Roan because I'm in the Pink Lady club.

STROSFANiknow @strosfaniknow.bsky.social · 2d

There are too many types of apples now. Nobody needs a variety of apples. Again, Big Grocery is foisting unwanted food on us

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Reposted by Eephus Tosser

ℳatt @matttomic.bsky.social · 2d

Teams that Trey Yesavage has beaten in professional baseball this year:

- Fort Myers Mighty Mussels
- Clearwater Threshers
- Tri-City Dust Devils
- Hartford Yard Goats
- the New York Yankees in the MLB Postseason

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Reposted by Eephus Tosser

Roger Cormier @yayroger.bsky.social · 2d

Two dudes whom despite their best efforts have no power in Canada.

Razzball @razzball.bsky.social · 26d

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Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 2d

In my experience, Donald Trump giving a speech usually IS a bunch of Yankees getting embarrassed.

Greg Stoll 🌈 @gregstoll.com · 2d

If you’re watching some Trump speech instead of the Yankees getting embarrassed I don’t know what to tell you

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