EJ Montijo
@ejinthecloud.bsky.social
Slapped some buttons on a screen now I think I'm a developer. Made some weird noises and now I think I'm a voice actor. Known to ramble poetic.
Lucky Tower Ultimate now in Early Access: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1700270/Lucky_Tower_Ultimate/
Lucky Tower Ultimate now in Early Access: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1700270/Lucky_Tower_Ultimate/
Pinned
EJ Montijo
@ejinthecloud.bsky.social
· Oct 21
It's important to inject your children with the woke mind virus at a young age to prevent it from escalating into brain worms as an adult.
Everyone always asks about Element Zero. Why isn't anyone asking about Element -1? Or Element A? Are they stupid?
December 5, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Everyone always asks about Element Zero. Why isn't anyone asking about Element -1? Or Element A? Are they stupid?
Right before you get to hell, after purgatory is a truck stop reserved for people who call for someone from another room without any added context.
I hope you have a good reason for summoning me from another room. Demons require scented candles and a snack, at least entice me damn.
I hope you have a good reason for summoning me from another room. Demons require scented candles and a snack, at least entice me damn.
December 5, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Right before you get to hell, after purgatory is a truck stop reserved for people who call for someone from another room without any added context.
I hope you have a good reason for summoning me from another room. Demons require scented candles and a snack, at least entice me damn.
I hope you have a good reason for summoning me from another room. Demons require scented candles and a snack, at least entice me damn.
No, I don’t know why millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. Stop DMing me about it.
December 3, 2025 at 5:38 PM
No, I don’t know why millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. Stop DMing me about it.
@hommestead.bsky.social you know what to do
December 3, 2025 at 3:02 PM
@hommestead.bsky.social you know what to do
@valvesoftware.com in Meet the Heavy, he states that Sascha shoots 10,000 rounds per minute. However, the attack interval for the minigun is .105, meaning a maximum of only 571 bullets per minute are released. I am requesting a refund of at least 9,429 per minute since October 10, 2007.
December 2, 2025 at 3:31 PM
@valvesoftware.com in Meet the Heavy, he states that Sascha shoots 10,000 rounds per minute. However, the attack interval for the minigun is .105, meaning a maximum of only 571 bullets per minute are released. I am requesting a refund of at least 9,429 per minute since October 10, 2007.
There's nothing incriminating in the Epstein files.
And if there is, it's a Democrat hoax.
And if it's not, I didn't know it was happening.
And if I did, that's why I kicked him out.
And if it wasn't, they were old enough to know what they were doing.
And if they weren't, quiet piggy.
And if there is, it's a Democrat hoax.
And if it's not, I didn't know it was happening.
And if I did, that's why I kicked him out.
And if it wasn't, they were old enough to know what they were doing.
And if they weren't, quiet piggy.
The Epstein files don't exist.
And if they do, that doesn't prove Trump is a pedophile.
And if it does, that's not a big deal because 15 year olds can give consent.
And if they can't, that's not his fault.
And if it was, he didn't mean to.
And if he did, they deserved it.
And if they do, that doesn't prove Trump is a pedophile.
And if it does, that's not a big deal because 15 year olds can give consent.
And if they can't, that's not his fault.
And if it was, he didn't mean to.
And if he did, they deserved it.
The Epstein files don't exist.
And if they did, they aren't that bad.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, the victims deserved it.
And if they did, they aren't that bad.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, the victims deserved it.
November 30, 2025 at 4:04 PM
There's nothing incriminating in the Epstein files.
And if there is, it's a Democrat hoax.
And if it's not, I didn't know it was happening.
And if I did, that's why I kicked him out.
And if it wasn't, they were old enough to know what they were doing.
And if they weren't, quiet piggy.
And if there is, it's a Democrat hoax.
And if it's not, I didn't know it was happening.
And if I did, that's why I kicked him out.
And if it wasn't, they were old enough to know what they were doing.
And if they weren't, quiet piggy.
I signed up for this app to see blue sky, all I've seen so far is furries. Don't stop the furries, just add more blue skies.
November 26, 2025 at 5:55 PM
I signed up for this app to see blue sky, all I've seen so far is furries. Don't stop the furries, just add more blue skies.
In ESB, Yoda says to Luke "it takes the most serious mind... to become a Jedi." So obviously I could never be one, but do they have like... Force-sensitive comedians? Janitors of the force?
November 22, 2025 at 8:15 PM
In ESB, Yoda says to Luke "it takes the most serious mind... to become a Jedi." So obviously I could never be one, but do they have like... Force-sensitive comedians? Janitors of the force?
Looking to hire professional haters. Prefer a group of youthful ne'er-do-wells who will zero in on my self esteem issues. Will consider crotchety older candidates who use the word metrosexual. No pay, but I will let you flat tire my shoes.
November 21, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Looking to hire professional haters. Prefer a group of youthful ne'er-do-wells who will zero in on my self esteem issues. Will consider crotchety older candidates who use the word metrosexual. No pay, but I will let you flat tire my shoes.
I want to ask stupid questions about quantum computing. Like, if qubits can hold max 2 classical bits, and quantum systems require users to interact with classical information systems to input, output, and transmit... What is the benefit of quantum computing?
November 20, 2025 at 3:39 PM
I want to ask stupid questions about quantum computing. Like, if qubits can hold max 2 classical bits, and quantum systems require users to interact with classical information systems to input, output, and transmit... What is the benefit of quantum computing?
I spend too much time concerned about tax misappropriation and not nearly enough time on horrors beyond comprehension
November 19, 2025 at 4:32 PM
I spend too much time concerned about tax misappropriation and not nearly enough time on horrors beyond comprehension
The Epstein files don't exist.
And if they do, that doesn't prove Trump is a pedophile.
And if it does, that's not a big deal because 15 year olds can give consent.
And if they can't, that's not his fault.
And if it was, he didn't mean to.
And if he did, they deserved it.
And if they do, that doesn't prove Trump is a pedophile.
And if it does, that's not a big deal because 15 year olds can give consent.
And if they can't, that's not his fault.
And if it was, he didn't mean to.
And if he did, they deserved it.
The Epstein files don't exist.
And if they did, they aren't that bad.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, the victims deserved it.
And if they did, they aren't that bad.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, the victims deserved it.
Project 2025 doesn't exist.
And if it did, it isn't that bad.
And if it is, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
And if it did, it isn't that bad.
And if it is, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
November 14, 2025 at 4:42 PM
The Epstein files don't exist.
And if they do, that doesn't prove Trump is a pedophile.
And if it does, that's not a big deal because 15 year olds can give consent.
And if they can't, that's not his fault.
And if it was, he didn't mean to.
And if he did, they deserved it.
And if they do, that doesn't prove Trump is a pedophile.
And if it does, that's not a big deal because 15 year olds can give consent.
And if they can't, that's not his fault.
And if it was, he didn't mean to.
And if he did, they deserved it.
The Jeffrey Epstein scandal is a hoax.
Even if it was real, he wasn't that bad.
And even if he was, the Democrats are doing worse.
And even if they're not, Trump had no involvement with Epstein.
And even if he did, Trump didn't know about the abuse.
And even if he did, the victims wanted it.
Even if it was real, he wasn't that bad.
And even if he was, the Democrats are doing worse.
And even if they're not, Trump had no involvement with Epstein.
And even if he did, Trump didn't know about the abuse.
And even if he did, the victims wanted it.
The Epstein files don't exist.
And if they did, they aren't that bad.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, the victims deserved it.
And if they did, they aren't that bad.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, the victims deserved it.
Project 2025 doesn't exist.
And if it did, it isn't that bad.
And if it is, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
And if it did, it isn't that bad.
And if it is, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
November 13, 2025 at 3:49 PM
The Jeffrey Epstein scandal is a hoax.
Even if it was real, he wasn't that bad.
And even if he was, the Democrats are doing worse.
And even if they're not, Trump had no involvement with Epstein.
And even if he did, Trump didn't know about the abuse.
And even if he did, the victims wanted it.
Even if it was real, he wasn't that bad.
And even if he was, the Democrats are doing worse.
And even if they're not, Trump had no involvement with Epstein.
And even if he did, Trump didn't know about the abuse.
And even if he did, the victims wanted it.
Reposted by EJ Montijo
Nobody wants to work anymore. Including me. That's why I've decided to become an elected official.
Vote for me, I won't do anything, and I have zero expectations of anyone else.
Vote for me, I won't do anything, and I have zero expectations of anyone else.
November 7, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Nobody wants to work anymore. Including me. That's why I've decided to become an elected official.
Vote for me, I won't do anything, and I have zero expectations of anyone else.
Vote for me, I won't do anything, and I have zero expectations of anyone else.
I will not be voting for Zohran Mamdani today.
The election was yesterday, and I don't live in New York.
The election was yesterday, and I don't live in New York.
November 6, 2025 at 3:02 AM
I will not be voting for Zohran Mamdani today.
The election was yesterday, and I don't live in New York.
The election was yesterday, and I don't live in New York.
This morning I was looking at the Mexican hairless dog Xoloitzcuintle (show-low-eets-QUEEN-tlee, often shortened to "Xolo," pronounced show-low)
Regional accent makes sh- sound like ch-.
y'all, I think cholo just means "you look like a dog" PLEASE say I'm wrong 😂🇲🇽
Regional accent makes sh- sound like ch-.
y'all, I think cholo just means "you look like a dog" PLEASE say I'm wrong 😂🇲🇽
November 5, 2025 at 3:55 PM
This morning I was looking at the Mexican hairless dog Xoloitzcuintle (show-low-eets-QUEEN-tlee, often shortened to "Xolo," pronounced show-low)
Regional accent makes sh- sound like ch-.
y'all, I think cholo just means "you look like a dog" PLEASE say I'm wrong 😂🇲🇽
Regional accent makes sh- sound like ch-.
y'all, I think cholo just means "you look like a dog" PLEASE say I'm wrong 😂🇲🇽
Grocery prices aren't high
Even if they are, they're not that high.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not this administration's fault.
And if it is, it's an unfortunate consequence of making America great.
And if America isn't great, it doesn't deserve to be.
Even if they are, they're not that high.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not this administration's fault.
And if it is, it's an unfortunate consequence of making America great.
And if America isn't great, it doesn't deserve to be.
January 6th was a hoax.
Even if it did happen, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not Trump's fault.
And if it is, he didn't mean it.
And if he did, America deserved it.
Even if it did happen, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not Trump's fault.
And if it is, he didn't mean it.
And if he did, America deserved it.
The Young Republicans Telegram chat doesn't exist.
And if it did, it isn't that bad.
And if it is, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not their fault.
And if it was, they didn't mean it.
And if they did, those groups deserved it.
And if it did, it isn't that bad.
And if it is, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not their fault.
And if it was, they didn't mean it.
And if they did, those groups deserved it.
November 4, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Grocery prices aren't high
Even if they are, they're not that high.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not this administration's fault.
And if it is, it's an unfortunate consequence of making America great.
And if America isn't great, it doesn't deserve to be.
Even if they are, they're not that high.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not this administration's fault.
And if it is, it's an unfortunate consequence of making America great.
And if America isn't great, it doesn't deserve to be.
January 6th was a hoax.
Even if it did happen, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not Trump's fault.
And if it is, he didn't mean it.
And if he did, America deserved it.
Even if it did happen, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not Trump's fault.
And if it is, he didn't mean it.
And if he did, America deserved it.
The Young Republicans Telegram chat doesn't exist.
And if it did, it isn't that bad.
And if it is, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not their fault.
And if it was, they didn't mean it.
And if they did, those groups deserved it.
And if it did, it isn't that bad.
And if it is, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not their fault.
And if it was, they didn't mean it.
And if they did, those groups deserved it.
The Epstein files don't exist.
And if they did, they aren't that bad.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, the victims deserved it.
And if they did, they aren't that bad.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, the victims deserved it.
October 31, 2025 at 2:16 PM
January 6th was a hoax.
Even if it did happen, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not Trump's fault.
And if it is, he didn't mean it.
And if he did, America deserved it.
Even if it did happen, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not Trump's fault.
And if it is, he didn't mean it.
And if he did, America deserved it.
The ideal beach body is the ability to transform, completely, into a beach.
October 22, 2025 at 1:20 PM
The ideal beach body is the ability to transform, completely, into a beach.
It's important to inject your children with the woke mind virus at a young age to prevent it from escalating into brain worms as an adult.
October 21, 2025 at 4:53 PM
It's important to inject your children with the woke mind virus at a young age to prevent it from escalating into brain worms as an adult.
One aspect of capitalism that I abhor is the sheer volume of food waste generated by food service, exacerbated by the hoarding of what is, supposedly, trash.
We have the means to end starvation around the world, it's just not a profitable enterprise.
We have the means to end starvation around the world, it's just not a profitable enterprise.
October 21, 2025 at 4:35 PM
One aspect of capitalism that I abhor is the sheer volume of food waste generated by food service, exacerbated by the hoarding of what is, supposedly, trash.
We have the means to end starvation around the world, it's just not a profitable enterprise.
We have the means to end starvation around the world, it's just not a profitable enterprise.
The Young Republicans Telegram chat doesn't exist.
And if it did, it isn't that bad.
And if it is, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not their fault.
And if it was, they didn't mean it.
And if they did, those groups deserved it.
And if it did, it isn't that bad.
And if it is, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not their fault.
And if it was, they didn't mean it.
And if they did, those groups deserved it.
The Epstein files don't exist.
And if they did, they aren't that bad.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, the victims deserved it.
And if they did, they aren't that bad.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, the victims deserved it.
Project 2025 doesn't exist.
And if it did, it isn't that bad.
And if it is, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
And if it did, it isn't that bad.
And if it is, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
October 16, 2025 at 1:39 PM
The Young Republicans Telegram chat doesn't exist.
And if it did, it isn't that bad.
And if it is, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not their fault.
And if it was, they didn't mean it.
And if they did, those groups deserved it.
And if it did, it isn't that bad.
And if it is, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not their fault.
And if it was, they didn't mean it.
And if they did, those groups deserved it.
The Epstein files don't exist.
And if they did, they aren't that bad.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, the victims deserved it.
And if they did, they aren't that bad.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, the victims deserved it.
Project 2025 doesn't exist.
And if it did, it isn't that bad.
And if it is, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
And if it did, it isn't that bad.
And if it is, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
October 15, 2025 at 4:26 PM
The Epstein files don't exist.
And if they did, they aren't that bad.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, the victims deserved it.
And if they did, they aren't that bad.
And if they are, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, the victims deserved it.