Eliot Beer
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eliotbeer.co.uk
Eliot Beer
@eliotbeer.co.uk
190 followers 790 following 440 posts
Sometime-journalist, copywriter, semi-itinerant menu art salesbeing. Accidentally diagnosed as ASD, grudgingly considered to have ADHD. Interested in energy, tech, things and stuff. Worries too much.
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eliotbeer.co.uk
I love you Beefcake
February 12, 2026 at 11:09 PM
eliotbeer.co.uk
I have three pairs alone in my bedside drawer. At any given moment I might find one of them.

At least another two bought while on holiday, but no idea where they are.

Sometimes, in the middle of a Big Tidy, I will find another pair, in the middle of 8-year-old bank statements. It's great.
February 12, 2026 at 11:05 PM
eliotbeer.co.uk
It would be very, very funny if that Fox & Friends clip was real... but it's on a channel filled with AI slop.

Unfortunately I'm 98% sure it's a fake - albeit pretty well-done.
February 1, 2026 at 11:01 PM
eliotbeer.co.uk
"Naruhodo, Jeeves" broke something deep in my mind.

I can hear it.
January 28, 2026 at 7:26 PM
Reposted by Eliot Beer
eigenvectrix.myatproto.social
"I say, Jeeves! I've gone viral!" "Congratulations, sir." Jeeves bowed his head. "There's just one F-tier pull, in the proverbial gacha, if you catch my meaning. Said virality is localized entirely to Tumblr dot com." Jeeves raised his left eyebrow an eighth of an inch. "Sir?" Those who know Bertram Wooster know that he is nothing if not extremely online. But the Tumblrites' ways had me stymied, and I told Jeeves as much. "Take these tags, jeeves, from Tumblr user aziraphales-sweaty— Well, you can see this username, Jeeves. User A.S.C.A.B. reblogged with '#I'M GNAWING OFF MY OWN LEG'. What do you make of it?" "Perhaps I can offer illumination, sir." "Illuminate by all means, Jeeves. Listed pronouns are worm/worm, if that helps." "It is my understanding that in such matters, approbation can be discerned through the depth of emotion expressed, rather than the literal text." "You mean, worm is jolly well chuffed?" "Precisely, sir." "Naruhodo, Jeeves." A thought occurred. "Do *you* have a Tumblr account, by any chance?" Jeeves said nothing.
January 28, 2026 at 8:31 AM
Reposted by Eliot Beer
eigenvectrix.myatproto.social
"Well, Jeeves, Uncle Tom's Miku Nendoroid is back at Brinkley, Gussie and Madeline will soon ring the wedding pails, or whatever it is those Homestuck blisters do, and most importantly, yours truly remains unattached and in Aunt Dahlia's good graces. And I owe it all to that brain of yours." "A gratifying outcome, sir." "You sell yourself short, Jeeves. That chap who solved the Kobayashi Maru has nothing on you." I hesitated. "Jeeves?" "Yes, sir?" "The — the Funko Pops on the mantelpiece. You may dispose of them, if you wish." "I have already done so, sir."
January 28, 2026 at 8:22 AM
Reposted by Eliot Beer
eigenvectrix.myatproto.social
"What the devil is Homestuck, Jeeves? Madeline Bassett's positively dippy about the thing." Jeeves's expression became solemn. "I am forbidden to say, sir." "Good lord, Jeeves! Is it as bad as all that?" "The Juinor [sic] Ganymede Club's policies are firm, sir." "Isn't there some hint you could give me? Something to help fix Gussie and Madeline's engagement? The situation is grave, Jeeves." Jeeves considered the gravity of the situation. "If Mr. Fink-Nottle were to express to Miss Bassett a desire to return to the flushed quadrant, it may effect a reconciliation."
January 28, 2026 at 8:18 AM
Reposted by Eliot Beer
eigenvectrix.myatproto.social
"It's over for me, Jeeves. One more slip-up on Mx. Bobbie Wickham's new pronouns, and there's a callout post with my name on it, primed to render me persona non grata everywhere but Roderick Spode's Mastodon instance." "If I might make a suggestion, sir..." "Please. Bertram Wooster the Ally is all ears." "On the matter of they/them pronouns, it may be efficacious to imagine Mx. Wickham as a swarm of bees." "You know, Jeeves, I think I already do."
January 28, 2026 at 8:16 AM
eliotbeer.co.uk
Literally the first thing I did after my first dose of Elvanse kicked in was clean all the cats' dishes, which was somehow the HARDEST THING EVER to get started before.

Never felt so alive.
January 25, 2026 at 12:46 PM
eliotbeer.co.uk
(I'm saying this just to vent a little, after for the first time ever venturing into the DoA subreddit, and..... YIKES. REALLY REALLY YIKES.)
homer simpson from the simpsons is standing in front of a grassy field .
Alt: Homer retreats into the hedge, face expressionless.
media.tenor.com
January 18, 2026 at 10:35 PM
eliotbeer.co.uk
I can understand people not liking the overall arc, but... like... look at the name of the comic! Bad decisions WILL happen!

And I really don't get people saying this came out of nowhere. Were... were they actually paying attention? Are these the people who got that bad US reading comp education??
January 18, 2026 at 10:35 PM