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I will be deploying myself to my couch at some point in the near future, resistance is expected to be minimal but I will use lethal force if I have to

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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 6h

people are afraid of the truth on here

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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 6h

yeah you're gonna want to get on the train at 41st, transfer at city hall, do a little twirl, what? oh no you don't have to do a little twirl, it's just probably better, yeah, and then you just want to take the d1 until the end of the line from there

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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 6h

a rainy day is a lot like a sunny day but there are clouds and rain

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Reposted by Jess

little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 1d

Can I call you back? The fabric of civil society is getting picked apart like a bloomin onion by guys that have never read a book

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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 1d

bro since we became homoerotic best friends my life has been like a wonderful pursuit of something I'll never have, and i was wondering if you would do me the honor of taking things to the next level by making the tension explicit, ruining the friendship, and then never talking again

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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 1d

ougghhhhhhhh i was excited about the sandwich oughhhhh

Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 1d

i live a running out of groceries and going to the corner store for a breakfast sandwich every day based lifestyle

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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 1d

i thought so, my neighbors had some other thoughts

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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 1d

guys what if something we were used to was a little off in a way that made it absurd and even a little humourous

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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 1d

replacing my muffler with a bunch of loose rounds of blank ammunition that slowly heat up and fire off

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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 1d

does anyone know when the wallet inspector returns your wallet after they bring it in for closer inspection

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Reposted by Jess

milk, oat style @rspbrrytrnqt.dev · 1d

oh yeah that’s my bug that lives in my desk drawer at work. he eats the bits of my sandwiches that i don’t want and sometimes he stings me and it hurts pretty bad but you know that’s just bugs

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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 1d

well let's just say it'd be a little something like this

my wife left me (x7)

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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 1d

telling everyone at the party that i do a killer yoda impression, no one seems to care, i do it anyways, i don't change my voice at all, talk like this i do, everyone is telling me to stop, i do it for three more hours, i feel a pang of loneliness, it doesn't matter though, I'm a jedi master

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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 1d

left me, my wife has. this is what i imagine it'd be like if yoda's wife left him

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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 1d

number 9 meal i would like, medium size i want, throw in an extra order of fries I would like to. this is what i imagine it would be like if yoda ordered at a drive thru

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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 1d

made me the happiest alien in the world you have, want to ask you i do, marry me will you? this is a little bit what i imagine it would be like if yoda proposed

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