Ersatz Fables
@ersatzfables.bsky.social
Aimless, Graceless, Feckless, and Pointless
Reposted by Ersatz Fables
the shift from “I never thought leopards would eat MY face” to “eat my face harder leopard daddy” must be studied
April 9, 2025 at 1:49 AM
the shift from “I never thought leopards would eat MY face” to “eat my face harder leopard daddy” must be studied
Reposted by Ersatz Fables
I am truly terrified for Hamdan. If you don’t know who Hamdan Ballal is, he is the director of No Other Land and he and Yuval both won the Oscar for Best Documentary this year
March 24, 2025 at 6:29 PM
I am truly terrified for Hamdan. If you don’t know who Hamdan Ballal is, he is the director of No Other Land and he and Yuval both won the Oscar for Best Documentary this year
Run and hide, Metallica fans! New Jethro Tull just dropped!
March 7, 2025 at 12:58 PM
Run and hide, Metallica fans! New Jethro Tull just dropped!
Trying to pass a bill to make his stupid fucking birthday a national holiday? I probably would have been even harsher on those stupid WWJD bracelets back in the day if I knew they were going to trade up for What Would Hitler Do?
February 20, 2025 at 1:27 AM
Trying to pass a bill to make his stupid fucking birthday a national holiday? I probably would have been even harsher on those stupid WWJD bracelets back in the day if I knew they were going to trade up for What Would Hitler Do?
I sometimes find myself appalled by the distinct lack of diggity in the world today.
No diggity?
None?
Not one?
Nary a single diggity to be had, not even for ready money?
Shameful
No diggity?
None?
Not one?
Nary a single diggity to be had, not even for ready money?
Shameful
February 12, 2025 at 4:48 PM
I sometimes find myself appalled by the distinct lack of diggity in the world today.
No diggity?
None?
Not one?
Nary a single diggity to be had, not even for ready money?
Shameful
No diggity?
None?
Not one?
Nary a single diggity to be had, not even for ready money?
Shameful
Reposted by Ersatz Fables
Cracker Barrel has informed me I have been pegged enough times to receive a reward.
Wait.
Oh, they call their reward points “Pegs” like the little game with the golf tees on all the tables.
That makes more sense.
I thought getting pegged at Cracker Barrel was its own reward.
Wait.
Oh, they call their reward points “Pegs” like the little game with the golf tees on all the tables.
That makes more sense.
I thought getting pegged at Cracker Barrel was its own reward.
February 6, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Cracker Barrel has informed me I have been pegged enough times to receive a reward.
Wait.
Oh, they call their reward points “Pegs” like the little game with the golf tees on all the tables.
That makes more sense.
I thought getting pegged at Cracker Barrel was its own reward.
Wait.
Oh, they call their reward points “Pegs” like the little game with the golf tees on all the tables.
That makes more sense.
I thought getting pegged at Cracker Barrel was its own reward.
Reposted by Ersatz Fables
The United States Military Academy has just eliminated all Cadet clubs and activities for POC. Most of these have existed for decades like the Society of Black Engineers. They were there when I was a Cadet in 1987. All of the religious ones remain. This isn’t DEI. It’s white Christian Nationalism.
February 5, 2025 at 2:27 PM
The United States Military Academy has just eliminated all Cadet clubs and activities for POC. Most of these have existed for decades like the Society of Black Engineers. They were there when I was a Cadet in 1987. All of the religious ones remain. This isn’t DEI. It’s white Christian Nationalism.
The spring of hair that bounces on the back of Lizzie Bennet’s head in the 95 Pride & Prejudice when she storms out of a room in exasperated indignation is who I want to be when I grow up.
February 4, 2025 at 4:56 PM
The spring of hair that bounces on the back of Lizzie Bennet’s head in the 95 Pride & Prejudice when she storms out of a room in exasperated indignation is who I want to be when I grow up.
For the kids who weren’t alive for it, the feeling of helpless shock like “this can’t really be happening can it? what do we do? how can we go on? they’re destroying everything!” you get watching the news all week is a lot like 9/11 felt on the day. Except now half the country voted for the planes.
February 4, 2025 at 5:18 AM
For the kids who weren’t alive for it, the feeling of helpless shock like “this can’t really be happening can it? what do we do? how can we go on? they’re destroying everything!” you get watching the news all week is a lot like 9/11 felt on the day. Except now half the country voted for the planes.
The core idea and the literal text of the eponymous regulation in Joseph Heller’s Catch 22 is that THEY have the right to do anything you can’t stop them from doing. We are seeing this play out in real time. But it cuts both ways, we all have that same right if we decide they can’t stop us.
February 3, 2025 at 4:28 PM
The core idea and the literal text of the eponymous regulation in Joseph Heller’s Catch 22 is that THEY have the right to do anything you can’t stop them from doing. We are seeing this play out in real time. But it cuts both ways, we all have that same right if we decide they can’t stop us.
This Morla-the-Ancient-One-descendant-looking mother fucker acting like his smug, petty-ass, obstructionist, breaking-the-rules-by-ignoring-their-existence bullshit during the Obama years wasn’t the blueprint for the flaming hot shit show we got now should get a kick in the dick after every meal.
MCCONNELL: “Tariffs will drive the cost of everything up, and be paid for by 🇺🇸 consumers — why would you want to get in a fight with your allies over this?” #TrumpTradeWar
February 3, 2025 at 4:54 AM
This Morla-the-Ancient-One-descendant-looking mother fucker acting like his smug, petty-ass, obstructionist, breaking-the-rules-by-ignoring-their-existence bullshit during the Obama years wasn’t the blueprint for the flaming hot shit show we got now should get a kick in the dick after every meal.
There has literally never been a better time to be an Atheist.
February 2, 2025 at 6:20 AM
There has literally never been a better time to be an Atheist.
Reposted by Ersatz Fables
Please share: We’ve received word that Elon Musk’s staffers are using space characters to identify information leakers. Before sharing any information, please use a checker to detect and remove these.
February 2, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Please share: We’ve received word that Elon Musk’s staffers are using space characters to identify information leakers. Before sharing any information, please use a checker to detect and remove these.
I’m still not entirely convinced that Better Man isn’t a live action remake of the Planet of the Apes musical from The Simpsons
February 2, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I’m still not entirely convinced that Better Man isn’t a live action remake of the Planet of the Apes musical from The Simpsons
You can have a reasonable, productive, nuanced discussion about if and how much DEI programs benefit the people they are meant to or if they are just corporations posturing for the public, but no matter how ineffectual your DEI program is, getting rid of it because trump says so is worse.
January 26, 2025 at 1:40 PM
You can have a reasonable, productive, nuanced discussion about if and how much DEI programs benefit the people they are meant to or if they are just corporations posturing for the public, but no matter how ineffectual your DEI program is, getting rid of it because trump says so is worse.
If you do it at Aldi for the quarters it’s Chaotic Neutral
lawful good = you return OTHER people's carts
January 23, 2025 at 1:31 PM
If you do it at Aldi for the quarters it’s Chaotic Neutral
Reposted by Ersatz Fables
The Oscar nominations are tomorrow morning, and honestly, the opportunity to spend a couple of hours diving into a pool of utterly consequence-free arcana in which I am expert has never felt more welcome.
January 23, 2025 at 12:11 AM
The Oscar nominations are tomorrow morning, and honestly, the opportunity to spend a couple of hours diving into a pool of utterly consequence-free arcana in which I am expert has never felt more welcome.
When, within 20 years at most, America celebrates Jan 6 as a second Independence Day, complete with fireworks and (climate change permitting) cookouts, being able to look back and know that I called that shit a mile away will for once provide me little to no comfort.
January 23, 2025 at 2:15 AM
When, within 20 years at most, America celebrates Jan 6 as a second Independence Day, complete with fireworks and (climate change permitting) cookouts, being able to look back and know that I called that shit a mile away will for once provide me little to no comfort.
Not to brag, but the speed and dexterity with which my brain goes from wondering what I should have for lunch to wondering how to flee the country because every passing news story makes the walls feel like they are closing in is pretty impressive.
January 22, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Not to brag, but the speed and dexterity with which my brain goes from wondering what I should have for lunch to wondering how to flee the country because every passing news story makes the walls feel like they are closing in is pretty impressive.
#TheBrutalist is like if Oppenheimer were made for grown ups.
January 20, 2025 at 3:22 AM
#TheBrutalist is like if Oppenheimer were made for grown ups.