getting your eyebrows to look right feels like getting an unwieldy and complicated piece of furniture through a small door frame

While all you morons were putting cash into your 401ks, I spent my adulthood investing in magic beans. They all laughed at me, but look where we are now. In the post-apocalyptic Hellscape, the one who controls the beans is queen.

late to the party but this is the most insane 2 seconds in the history of music

it’s just about time for sun baked jacket, scalp and a cool breeze that makes you gather your lapels 😤

apple stopped selling their lightning aux adapter. count your days apple. we with wired headphones will grow underfoot unnoticed until it is too late

I'm not like other girls...

(I image you're rolling your eyes: "What is she, a Pick-Me?" But, I wasn't finished)

...I'm worse.😂

It's human to jump to conclusions. But how about a little humility once you get the whole story?—It's the only way to laugh!

I cherish my followers.

I can’t have disposable income. I’ll start getting things like a $100 water filter. a $160 hypochlorous acid generator. a tent. a handgun. I’ll open up a food bank. I’d be so bad 😝

winter is leaving me a dried out husk, and I fear I may never reconstitute the same 😔

thinking about carrying a handkerchief around. I could do things like, you know, comfort a crying lad. polish an apple. wave farewell by the dock. cough up blood. all the important stuff

the other day I found out my nostrils are asymmetrical. so needless to say don’t fucking talk to me

Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller
January 2,1947

posting on bluesky

it’s so funny those times when life sucks so bad that you have no other choice but to become a better person. and a philosopher

I think the most frustrating part about all of this isn’t losing the numbers, I can always hit 48k again. It’s leaving behind a ton of memories all because of some man baby running what used to be my favorite platform into the ground