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Evan J’Daté Kessler

@evanjkessler.bsky.social

500 followers 260 following 3.8K posts

Here to make friends and find love and I'm all out of making friends. Comedian and host of "Won't You Be My Killer?" podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wont-you-be-my-killer/id1736422937

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Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 4h

Tanner is a good name for a white person who tries to convince you they’re not white.

Reposted by Evan J’Daté Kessler

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 6h

FanTASTIC news let’s get this done

The Verge @theverge.com · May 26

Nick Clegg says asking artists for use permission would ‘kill’ the AI industry

Paul McCartne, Elton John and others signed an open letter.

buff.ly

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Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 19h

Not to make anyone paranoid, but what if all your friends are spies?

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 20h

When people wear gym clothes on stage at an open mic, they’re not wrong.

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 23h

At Mexican restaurants, it’s Guac-toberfest!

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 23h

My nephew was born this past weekend and since I know the birthdate and birth time, I should probably get them a copy of their astrological chart, so they grow up knowing it and don't have to track down their birth certificate in their 20s when a cool witch takes a romantic interest in them.

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 1d

Love guacamole, hate saying “guac.”

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 3d

Gonna need Huey Lewis & The News to release a cover of “It’s The End of The World As We Know It,” so I can at least enjoy something during this gradual apocalypse.

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 3d

Feels like it's been so long since the Heptapods came down to Earth and showed humanity the importance of communication and working together.

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 3d

I wish we'd had YouTube when I was a kid. After my dad passed, I would've started a reaction channel called something like "Grieving Teen Reacts" and gotten, like, 70K subscribers.

Probably would have been cyber-bullied relentlessly though.

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 3d

If you have a fantasy hockey team, you have to call it "Too Many Tkachuks."

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 3d

Has anyone ever dialed the number 012-345-6789? Who picks up?

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 3d

We should sleep in shifts.

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 3d

Idea: A well-regulated militia of weed dispensary security guards to take on ICE.

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 4d

The problem is, once he's out of office again everyone's gonna be like "well, I'm glad that's over," instead of "WE NEED TO CHANGE EVERYTHING!!!"

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Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 4d

Just officially became an uncle for the first time! Gonna celebrate by heating up some rice in the microwave!

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 5d

As long as a country has a Chili's, it is ok to ignore human rights abuses by a brutal regime. It's why I never complain about the United States. There are so many Chili'ses here.

Wait, what's the plural of Chili's?

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 5d

I want to be a “rest my arm on the open window while sitting in traffic” kind of driver, but I just don’t think that’s who I am.

Reposted by Evan J’Daté Kessler

Kerouac666 @kerouac666.bsky.social · 6d

Nostalgia is like a strip club in that going there once in awhile is fun but being a regular means something’s off and it’s probs melting your brain

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Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 6d

Why? He's in NY.

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 6d

Thinking about buying a Mets hat for my nephew when he’s born because I want him to grow up experiencing empathy.

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Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 6d

If you believe there’s anything ethical or necessary about stopping aid from reaching starving people, I don’t understand how we’re even of the same species.

If you believe the people on the flotilla pose any threat, you have ceded the reins of your rational thought to some pretty evil people.

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 6d

Tilly Norwood rearranged spells “Not wordy, ill.”

THE PLOT THICKENS!!!

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 6d

Ladies, get in line to find out if this is a good thing or a bad thing!

A screenshot from the Co-Star app that says, “anyone who falls in love with you will remember it for the rest of their life.”

Evan J’Daté Kessler @evanjkessler.bsky.social · 7d

Trying to rearrange to the letters in "Tilly Norwood" to figure out the hidden meaning behind the name. So far I only have oo will not dry, won't rolo idly, woody tin roll, and o drill own toy.