Pinned
If I ever have a granddaughter I will give her all my diaries to read upon my passing. And she will be like "Wow I did not realize my grandmother was so neurotic, self-centered, and annoying in her twenties"
Got my first-ever UTI
September 14, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Got my first-ever UTI
I know my insta algo has been snooping on my Google searches because I am being advertised so many newfangled kinds of probiotics
September 3, 2025 at 12:43 AM
I know my insta algo has been snooping on my Google searches because I am being advertised so many newfangled kinds of probiotics
Have not set foot at my workplace for 10 entire days and yet I feel more burnt out than I did before
September 2, 2025 at 12:54 PM
Have not set foot at my workplace for 10 entire days and yet I feel more burnt out than I did before
"The open bar is one thing, but bottomless tzatziki?!" -- joke I made that really slayed at the nature education conference
August 27, 2025 at 5:34 AM
"The open bar is one thing, but bottomless tzatziki?!" -- joke I made that really slayed at the nature education conference
One thing that rules about living in a county with zero recycling facilities is that cleaning out your fridge is so easy. You don't have to dump any liquids out. You just throw everything in the trash still closed and haul it out to the dumpster. I'm kind of the Marie Kondo of expired food products
August 11, 2025 at 3:11 AM
One thing that rules about living in a county with zero recycling facilities is that cleaning out your fridge is so easy. You don't have to dump any liquids out. You just throw everything in the trash still closed and haul it out to the dumpster. I'm kind of the Marie Kondo of expired food products
Nobody is scrobbling harder than me
July 26, 2025 at 3:20 AM
Nobody is scrobbling harder than me
Reposted
Really enjoying this classic Sesame Street segment, two minutes of freestyle jazz riffing on saxophone factory footage
March 13, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Really enjoying this classic Sesame Street segment, two minutes of freestyle jazz riffing on saxophone factory footage
I'm actually like this all the time about everything
July 17, 2025 at 2:17 AM
I'm actually like this all the time about everything
This is the stupidest thing ever I am deleting the internet. Had this person ever been to a graduation before
July 5, 2025 at 6:40 PM
This is the stupidest thing ever I am deleting the internet. Had this person ever been to a graduation before
Look I love having a nature job but if one more person tells me “I planted a huge butterfly garden with lots of native plants and they just won’t come! There are just no butterflies this year” I am going to start eating monarch host plants
July 2, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Look I love having a nature job but if one more person tells me “I planted a huge butterfly garden with lots of native plants and they just won’t come! There are just no butterflies this year” I am going to start eating monarch host plants
Reposted
They should sell the grapefruit liquid IV in big powder tubs like Gatorade
June 19, 2025 at 11:54 PM
They should sell the grapefruit liquid IV in big powder tubs like Gatorade
Been getting really into Times New Roman lately
June 17, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Been getting really into Times New Roman lately
Didn’t mention car seat headrest at all on yday’s hinge date, for which I deserve a medal
June 16, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Didn’t mention car seat headrest at all on yday’s hinge date, for which I deserve a medal
The other night I was downtown bending over on the sidewalk and a drunk girl ran over to offer me Zofran but I was dead sober & stretching my lower back
June 15, 2025 at 6:25 PM
The other night I was downtown bending over on the sidewalk and a drunk girl ran over to offer me Zofran but I was dead sober & stretching my lower back
Playing Stars and Stripes Forever for a band concert in the middle of outright authoritarian descent into chaos is weird but the thing you have to understand about band directors is that they chiefly regard America as the the place that gave us Sousa marches
June 15, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Playing Stars and Stripes Forever for a band concert in the middle of outright authoritarian descent into chaos is weird but the thing you have to understand about band directors is that they chiefly regard America as the the place that gave us Sousa marches
I love when a book has 2 quotes as an epigraph and the first one is from a canonical work of literature and the second is from a pop song. That truly never gets old
June 15, 2025 at 4:27 AM
I love when a book has 2 quotes as an epigraph and the first one is from a canonical work of literature and the second is from a pop song. That truly never gets old
Reposted
For his birthday I wish Donald Trump a very die you fucking bitch
June 14, 2025 at 5:05 PM
For his birthday I wish Donald Trump a very die you fucking bitch
Men love me for the concepts I represent
June 13, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Men love me for the concepts I represent
They could make a show like The Pitt where they go hour by hour through a shift in cave tourism and they could call it The Pit
May 31, 2025 at 11:34 PM
They could make a show like The Pitt where they go hour by hour through a shift in cave tourism and they could call it The Pit
Reading Daisy Jones and the Six rn and I think this is what it feels like to read A Visit from the Goon Squad if you’re smart
May 31, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Reading Daisy Jones and the Six rn and I think this is what it feels like to read A Visit from the Goon Squad if you’re smart
You have to state your date of birth like five separate times when you donate blood and yet none of the Red Cross employees told me happy birthday when I donated blood on my birthday. I want my blood back
May 28, 2025 at 9:47 PM
You have to state your date of birth like five separate times when you donate blood and yet none of the Red Cross employees told me happy birthday when I donated blood on my birthday. I want my blood back