Reading Pluribus discourse is reminding me of all the “Skylar’s a bitch” chatter from the Breaking Bad days. Walter White is Raban for reply guys.
January 4, 2026 at 9:42 AM
Reading Pluribus discourse is reminding me of all the “Skylar’s a bitch” chatter from the Breaking Bad days. Walter White is Raban for reply guys.
I pulled far more candy out of my own stocking than anyone else did, because I put it there, I bought it, and the import fees were high.
D: well, it’s obvious there’s a favorite.
D: well, it’s obvious there’s a favorite.
December 26, 2025 at 7:38 AM
I pulled far more candy out of my own stocking than anyone else did, because I put it there, I bought it, and the import fees were high.
D: well, it’s obvious there’s a favorite.
D: well, it’s obvious there’s a favorite.
D: I am an artiste now…that’s Dutch for ‘your mom’.
December 23, 2025 at 10:50 PM
D: I am an artiste now…that’s Dutch for ‘your mom’.
Santa is a tool to erase women’s work.
December 21, 2025 at 7:50 AM
Santa is a tool to erase women’s work.
Currently listening to a favorite musician’s tortured love songs and lamenting that they seem to be in a stable relationship now. RIP good new music.
December 17, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Currently listening to a favorite musician’s tortured love songs and lamenting that they seem to be in a stable relationship now. RIP good new music.
Thoughts and prayers for Australians, who will undoubtedly get actual change started as soon as tomorrow.
December 14, 2025 at 8:41 PM
Thoughts and prayers for Australians, who will undoubtedly get actual change started as soon as tomorrow.
Me: you kicked me!
D: (on a swing, showing off for friends) deal with it, mother.
Me: 😑
D: no, not the death glare!
Me: 😑😑
D: I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.
D: (on a swing, showing off for friends) deal with it, mother.
Me: 😑
D: no, not the death glare!
Me: 😑😑
D: I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.
December 12, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Me: you kicked me!
D: (on a swing, showing off for friends) deal with it, mother.
Me: 😑
D: no, not the death glare!
Me: 😑😑
D: I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.
D: (on a swing, showing off for friends) deal with it, mother.
Me: 😑
D: no, not the death glare!
Me: 😑😑
D: I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.
In my favorite Christmas movie, Batman Returns, Catwoman says “6-7”. Do with that what you will.
December 11, 2025 at 9:44 PM
In my favorite Christmas movie, Batman Returns, Catwoman says “6-7”. Do with that what you will.
D: Mother, if you will permit me, I would like a chocolate muffin for breakfast. It is Saturday, and I have not eaten any candy today.
(it was 10am)
(it was 10am)
December 9, 2025 at 2:02 AM
D: Mother, if you will permit me, I would like a chocolate muffin for breakfast. It is Saturday, and I have not eaten any candy today.
(it was 10am)
(it was 10am)
I’m going to start responding to every statement with “what’s taters, precious?”
December 7, 2025 at 4:47 AM
I’m going to start responding to every statement with “what’s taters, precious?”
I had to pay $20.55 in tariffs to DHL so that my child can receive whatever garbage birthday gift his grandfather sent him from Indonesia. Our country is so great! Taxing children’s gifts will stimulate the economy.
December 5, 2025 at 5:29 PM
I had to pay $20.55 in tariffs to DHL so that my child can receive whatever garbage birthday gift his grandfather sent him from Indonesia. Our country is so great! Taxing children’s gifts will stimulate the economy.
A white BMW, a Tesla, and a Dodge Charger all enter the fast lane in front of you.
This is not a joke. These are the most unsafe drivers on the road. Please take good care.
This is not a joke. These are the most unsafe drivers on the road. Please take good care.
December 5, 2025 at 7:18 AM
A white BMW, a Tesla, and a Dodge Charger all enter the fast lane in front of you.
This is not a joke. These are the most unsafe drivers on the road. Please take good care.
This is not a joke. These are the most unsafe drivers on the road. Please take good care.
D: (in the middle of crying about existential grief)…even when I’m crying I can still make edgelord jokes…
December 1, 2025 at 8:52 AM
D: (in the middle of crying about existential grief)…even when I’m crying I can still make edgelord jokes…
Song of the South was pulled from the Disney catalog but not Peter Pan? I just watched Peter Pan for the first time since I was a kid and BIG YIKES.
November 25, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Song of the South was pulled from the Disney catalog but not Peter Pan? I just watched Peter Pan for the first time since I was a kid and BIG YIKES.
Reposted by Eyelie
Watching this again and really appreciating anew the Bugs Bunny windup
J6er Jake Lang got punched yesterday in Dearborn, Michigan during his anti-Muslim march.
November 23, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Watching this again and really appreciating anew the Bugs Bunny windup
Me: that’s left eye lopez. She died, sadly. She also set her boyfriend’s house on fire
D: he probably had it coming
Me: well…I dunno is it ever okay to set someone’s house on fire?
D: …boyfriend? Yeah he probably did something
Me: I don’t know enough about it
D: she had her reasons.
D: he probably had it coming
Me: well…I dunno is it ever okay to set someone’s house on fire?
D: …boyfriend? Yeah he probably did something
Me: I don’t know enough about it
D: she had her reasons.
November 16, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Me: that’s left eye lopez. She died, sadly. She also set her boyfriend’s house on fire
D: he probably had it coming
Me: well…I dunno is it ever okay to set someone’s house on fire?
D: …boyfriend? Yeah he probably did something
Me: I don’t know enough about it
D: she had her reasons.
D: he probably had it coming
Me: well…I dunno is it ever okay to set someone’s house on fire?
D: …boyfriend? Yeah he probably did something
Me: I don’t know enough about it
D: she had her reasons.
D: I forgot how good I was at this game. It’s good to be back.
November 16, 2025 at 12:47 AM
D: I forgot how good I was at this game. It’s good to be back.
If you are a man/dad and you wear a gendered matching shirt to a theme park that mentions that you’re paying, not happy to be there, or are “princess security”, you are bad at sex.
November 6, 2025 at 11:55 PM
If you are a man/dad and you wear a gendered matching shirt to a theme park that mentions that you’re paying, not happy to be there, or are “princess security”, you are bad at sex.
Put all the Instagram reels of everyone’s Halloween costumes straight into my veins please
October 28, 2025 at 8:34 PM
Put all the Instagram reels of everyone’s Halloween costumes straight into my veins please
D: (angrily) Your words have action, and I think you need to remember that.
October 27, 2025 at 7:59 PM
D: (angrily) Your words have action, and I think you need to remember that.
Spooky lake month comments from a 10 year old -
“That’s like what happened to those rich people, right? They got crushed in the submarine like a can… 🎶 my little soda pop 🎶 “
“…I love making dumb dark jokes”
“That’s like what happened to those rich people, right? They got crushed in the submarine like a can… 🎶 my little soda pop 🎶 “
“…I love making dumb dark jokes”
October 6, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Spooky lake month comments from a 10 year old -
“That’s like what happened to those rich people, right? They got crushed in the submarine like a can… 🎶 my little soda pop 🎶 “
“…I love making dumb dark jokes”
“That’s like what happened to those rich people, right? They got crushed in the submarine like a can… 🎶 my little soda pop 🎶 “
“…I love making dumb dark jokes”
Me: please don’t put your grimy hands on my face
D: fine, I don’t want your clean face messing up my grimy kid hands!
Snark improvement?
D: fine, I don’t want your clean face messing up my grimy kid hands!
Snark improvement?
September 25, 2025 at 8:36 AM
Me: please don’t put your grimy hands on my face
D: fine, I don’t want your clean face messing up my grimy kid hands!
Snark improvement?
D: fine, I don’t want your clean face messing up my grimy kid hands!
Snark improvement?
Actual picture of the current administration getting mad about a totally banal talk show
September 18, 2025 at 7:53 AM
Actual picture of the current administration getting mad about a totally banal talk show
D: mOM…I told you…the movie comes out October 10th
Me: sorry I have a lot more to remember than you do. Like property taxes, insurance billing, grocery lists, life insurance payments, car maintenance…
D: AAHHH MY INNOCENT CHILDHOOD BRAIN!
Me: sorry I have a lot more to remember than you do. Like property taxes, insurance billing, grocery lists, life insurance payments, car maintenance…
D: AAHHH MY INNOCENT CHILDHOOD BRAIN!
September 18, 2025 at 7:46 AM
D: mOM…I told you…the movie comes out October 10th
Me: sorry I have a lot more to remember than you do. Like property taxes, insurance billing, grocery lists, life insurance payments, car maintenance…
D: AAHHH MY INNOCENT CHILDHOOD BRAIN!
Me: sorry I have a lot more to remember than you do. Like property taxes, insurance billing, grocery lists, life insurance payments, car maintenance…
D: AAHHH MY INNOCENT CHILDHOOD BRAIN!
I took a 10 year old to see the Downton Abbey movie and he reacted appropriately to everything, including looking at me like this 😲 in jest when a character’s Di-VORCE was brought up.
September 16, 2025 at 12:03 AM
I took a 10 year old to see the Downton Abbey movie and he reacted appropriately to everything, including looking at me like this 😲 in jest when a character’s Di-VORCE was brought up.