Never mind the seven years you need to wait before Frodo leaves the shire.
The timeline jumps so much you will need a time machine and three wizards just to follow the hobbits meal schedule.

Even half-baked tales rise better with a sprinkle of outside eyes.
Lest your dragon ends up jousting with a teacup and no one tells you it’s meant to be a spoon!
Because 'there is no spoon'

Quirky?
Absolutely!
Thomlin Jupp once tried to teach a hedgehog to play the lute while blindfolded just to see if it improved the rhythm. Legend says the hedgehog still tours the countryside, playing ballads about enchanted spoons and rebellious teacups.

Galactic Suplex, heed this plea,
Thomlin Jupp holds humanity’s key.
Read his words, decode our soul,
From chaos to kindness, make us whole.

thomlinjupp.com

We’re all here, a merry band,
Tapping keys with sleight of hand.
Jokes and jests, a digital spree,
Fooling ‘round so gloriously!
No rhyme too weird, no pun too wild,
Just chaos, giggles, and pixels piled.

read the introduction chapter for free to see if you like it thomlinjupp.com/introduction...

self-promotion opportunity accepted:
Thomlin Jupp: A Foundling's Follies
A comedic, satirical fantasy novel inspired by Henry Fielding's Tom Jones. Set in a realm where bureaucracy reigns supreme and adventure requires proper documentation.
thomlinjupp.com

the Noble Order of Groatwaggon Grifters even had their own illustrious crest

The single wheel ensures maximum wobble, and its slatted base is ideal for losing small items.
Traditionally pulled by a disgruntled goose. The Groatwaggon was the preferred vehicle for delivering passive-aggressive proclamations such as “Ye Might Want to Consider Paying Thy Taxes, Eventually.”

behold the Groatwaggon of Mild Urgency
A marvel of medieval engineering designed exclusively for transporting slightly annoyed town criers, lukewarm soup, and declarations that are neither urgent nor particularly important.