My favorite thing about Virginia Beach getting snow is watching everyone on my tl using boogie boards as sleds

Go I love my birds

BIRTHDAY BOYS 🥳

🎨: dhwanisaraiya_ | #FlyEaglesFly

In tush push we trust 🦅🙏🏼

I think I speak for every living creature on Earth when I say that the Eagles need to win on Sunday for the good of humanity.

I’m usually pretty good about sticking to a healthy diet unless I’m really sad or celebrating or bored or eating out or ordering in or if it’s the weekend or Monday or if there’s something stressful going on

Handy lesbian things I did today:
•changed my friends oil in her car
•replaced my cars headlights
•replaced my wife’s cars headlights
•built a piece of furniture
•replaced the belt that broke in our vacuum
•helped clean our entire house

Things I didn’t do today:
•any of my to-do list for work 🙃

snoW much fun!

BetMGM | #FlyEaglesFly

I never buy Oreos because then I'll eat the Oreos,
so instead I look in my pantry every day and I'm
disappointed that I don't have any Oreos.

~a tragic personal memoir

I didn’t think it would actually happen 😭

You've heard of "girl dinner," get ready for "nonbinary lunch" where I eat an entire bag of microwave popcorn while drinking a red bull

Why even have your name and pronouns in your signature of an email when people are going to misspell and misgender you anyways?? Asking for a friend.

The thing about my wife is she's my best friend and also the hottest woman alive and I'm so completely gay for her

I’m here because my wife told me to