The thrilling conclusion to a horse’s ’I should’ve been asleep ages ago’ dilemma—courtesy of a musky, horse testicle loving mustelid who couldn’t leave well-enough, alone 😮‍💨🐴💦 Snort

A friendly pup & I were arguing about the differences in opinion on the trepidation of being CAUGHT for NOISY pleasure versus the THRILL of being WATCHED in earnest—I argued that both could be enjoyable 😮‍💨🐴💦 Snort~

When a horse walks into a bar(n), it’s always about the long face—never about the—well—ya’ get the joke 😋🐴💦 Neigh~

Is—this what you’re staring at? 👀💦

It ain’t even hard yet, cutie 😮‍💨🐴 Snort~

Most farm-goers tend to get straight to work upon entering the stables—as you can imagine, the scent is far more alluring than the sounds alone & are a universal sign of ‘attention-seeking’ behavior 🥴🐴🥚🥚💦 Snort~

This should literally be IMPOSSIBLE with hooves but—here’s where stablehands come into play 😮‍💨🐴💦 Snort~

Dithering or not—don’t they look like fun to flop ‘round in your own palm? 😮‍💨🐴🥚🥚💦 Neigh~

L-look at me in the eyes while you watch—I know w-why you wandered into my stable in the f-first place—are you g-getting dickstracted 🥴🐴💦 Snort~

It’s n-not my fault you left this in my st-stable—what’d you expect me to do, not u-use it for hours 🤤🐴💦 Whinny~

If ya’ ever find a reason to be stressed, just lean back & breath; it’ll do wonders when you just accept that you’re a thoughtless, productive breeder 😤😮‍💨🐴💦 Snort~