Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans)
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iwriteok.bsky.social
Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans)
@iwriteok.bsky.social
170K followers 460 following 5K posts
I am the host of Behind the Bastards and overlord of podcasts at Cool Zone Media
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iwriteok.bsky.social
America, you've spoken loud and clear: you do not like being stabbed in the dick with an ice pick. But what if stabbing yourself in the dick with an ice pick is the only way to fight, idk, climate change or whatever?
December 16, 2025 at 2:36 AM
iwriteok.bsky.social
"put a pebble in your shoe to fool gait analysis" is the Free Space of 'Got Coaxed By The FBI Into Incompetently Planning Terrorism Bingo'
The plan discussed pre-operational surveillance of targets, identification of “debloc” or de-clothing locations, and not leaving “anything other than the ieds behind,” as they could not “risk any evidence tracing back to us.” The plan also noted the benefit of placing a small pebble in a shoe to alter natural gait to obfuscate their identification. Instructions on how to purchase materials to construct a pipe bomb suggested using cash only, purchasing in small quantities to avoid suspicion, and splitting purchases amongst a team rather than individually.
December 16, 2025 at 12:36 AM
iwriteok.bsky.social
truly a great time to have just recorded a pilot episode about Warhammer 40,000 memes bleeding into mainstream politics with @jkass99.bsky.social
November 25, 2025 at 9:34 PM
iwriteok.bsky.social
it's actually really good our stock is down $500 billion, you fool, you absolute simpleton

www.businessinsider.com/jensen-huang...
"Nobody in history has ever lost $500 billion in a few weeks," Huang said. "You've gotta be worth a lot to lose $500 billion in a few weeks."
November 22, 2025 at 2:49 AM
iwriteok.bsky.social
in a long life filled with saying stupid shit this is may be the stupidest shit he's ever said
Elon Musk: With Optimus, we might be able to stop putting people in prison. “If somebody's committed a crime, we might be able to provide a more humane form of containment of future crime. You now get a free Optimus, and it's just going to follow you around and stop you from doing crime. Other than that, you get to do anything; it's just going to stop you from committing crime. That's really it. You don't have to put people in prisons and stuff. It's pretty wild to think of all the possibilities, but I think it's clearly the future.” Tesla Shareholder Meeting, November 6,
November 11, 2025 at 7:21 PM
iwriteok.bsky.social
last night was the inaugural opening of my new backyard bar and we celebrated by getting roughly thirty people completely annihilated
A bar counter with a sign on it that features a goat skull and the name: Dead Goat Bar & Bar. Next to it is a neon machete shaped sign
November 2, 2025 at 1:05 AM
iwriteok.bsky.social
i liked how Platner was campaigning and I am prepared to believe a young marine could make literally any stupid mistake. but I don't believe a guy could spend twenty years maturing politically the way he has and not know what a death's head means

www.pressherald.com/2025/10/21/g...
October 21, 2025 at 7:20 PM
iwriteok.bsky.social
Donald Trump shelled J.D. Vance's security detail.
October 20, 2025 at 12:47 AM
iwriteok.bsky.social
I'm sure I'll get accused of being anti fun or whatever, and I'm not gonna lecture anyone about wearing inflatable costumes, etc. just try and give a shit about where you send money.

on a related note, the Portland Defense Fund is doing a street faire to raise money today. details in flier
A flier for the Portland Street Fair, October 18, 2-7 PM on Clinton St and 25th. Music vendors raffle, family friendly. All proceeds to the bail fund.
October 18, 2025 at 3:39 PM
iwriteok.bsky.social
dawg we are gonna lose a war because ChatGPT has this guy mobilizing divisions that don't exist and tasking real troops with holding mountain passes and ports an LLM hallucinated
Top US Army general says he’s using ChatGPT to help make key command decisions
October 17, 2025 at 2:39 AM
iwriteok.bsky.social
Portland Folks: if you're in town Saturday and want something to go to aside from the No Kings protest, or after, the Portland Defense Fund is holding a street fair on Clinton St in SE.
Flier for the Defense Fund PDX Street Fair in October 18th from 2-7 PM on Clinton St and 25th. Music vendors raffle family friendly. All proceeds to the bail fund.
October 16, 2025 at 11:40 PM
iwriteok.bsky.social
Andrew Cuomo has the greatest mind in contemporary politics
A post from Andrew cuomos twitter where he says it was great to join Logan Paul for a 90 minute podcast recording. Attached is a photo of Andrew Cuomo shaking hands with Logan's entourage. A fox news NYC mayoral race poll posted by the poll tracker Twitter account. It shows Zohran Mamdani with 52%, Cuomo with 28% and Sliwa with 14%. Poll was taken October 10-14 with an error rate of plus or minus 3.5
October 16, 2025 at 11:22 PM
iwriteok.bsky.social
Lee Pace in The Fall is the result of a decades-long experiment to see what happens if all the hotness for an entire generation is concentrated in the body of a single man
October 13, 2025 at 10:26 PM
iwriteok.bsky.social
the boys who landed at Normandy or fought in Stalingrad couldn't have imagined the horrors of 21st century war
A picture and headline from an article: Unicorn bride marries Kenny from south park at Portland ICE protest
October 13, 2025 at 4:58 AM
iwriteok.bsky.social
as a kid growing up right-wing i regularly heard people express their desire for "a government so small I can drown it in the bathtub". imagine my surprise growing up to realize i was the only one who actually believed that.
October 7, 2025 at 10:39 PM
iwriteok.bsky.social
i think i need a copy of this insane novel
A copy of a book titled The Texas Israeli War 1999 with a cover that features an Israeli tank squaring off against Comanche warriors.
October 6, 2025 at 12:59 AM
iwriteok.bsky.social
this is hardly the most important piece of Diddy news today but it's pretty funny that the court sketch artist drew the Bailiff's badge as a circle A anarchist symbol
Sketch of Diddy finding out he'd been sentenced to more than 4 years in prison. Behind him is a bailiff with a circle A instead of a badge on his chest.
October 3, 2025 at 10:43 PM
iwriteok.bsky.social
welcome to the Resistance, psychotically violent fascists who tear gas children
October 3, 2025 at 7:35 PM
iwriteok.bsky.social
like this is gross but it's infinitely better than Bill Burr pretending he had his mind opened to the fact that Arabs are "just like us" because Saudi Arabia has McDonalds or some shit
October 2, 2025 at 7:48 PM
iwriteok.bsky.social
Yep, this is exactly what I'd have expected. Great article from Ken.
September 25, 2025 at 2:27 AM
iwriteok.bsky.social
underneath all the doom and hideous stuff happening at the top of our country is a more inspiring story: regular Americans are not buying all this crap. and they're still willing to call the government out on it.

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
Meghan Blanco, an attorney who represented Mojica, said it was significant that jurors did not believe the statements of such a senior official. “These jurors had the opportunity to listen firsthand to the CBP officer overseeing enforcement nationally and could not have found his testimony to be credible,” said Blanco, a former federal prosecutor. “It is a bad sign for the federal government. They are doing everything they can to try to legitimize their prosecutions, and thank God the jury and the public are seeing right through it.”
September 20, 2025 at 12:54 AM
iwriteok.bsky.social
like seriously, the actual text of the article bears little resemblance to how some people are interpreting it
The senior official explains that there is no process per se for dealing with trans people as a “threat group,” but feels that trans individuals will be increasingly targeted under the banner of “violent extremism.”
September 20, 2025 at 12:24 AM
iwriteok.bsky.social
the article literally does not say what people are acting like it says
September 20, 2025 at 12:23 AM
iwriteok.bsky.social
excited for this trend to continue when 30 years from now Nick Fuentes takes a principled stance against the policies of President Triple Hitler, a clone containing the souls of three Hitlers in a single body
September 18, 2025 at 3:22 AM
iwriteok.bsky.social
this would theoretically provide power long enough to play the monorail episode of The Simpsons, which is all we really need electricity to do these days anyway
Earth.com article titled: France sets new world record by keeping a fusion reactor running for 22 minutes
September 17, 2025 at 2:05 AM