blaine
LightNews LightNews
banner
jblainefoster.bsky.social
blaine
@jblainefoster.bsky.social
2.6K followers 950 following 8.1K posts
genetics BS ➡️ history MA ➡️ PharmD candidate | 🌈🏳️‍⚧️ | MECFS | 🇨🇦➡️🇺🇸 | any/all
Posts Replies Media Videos
jblainefoster.bsky.social
more
February 14, 2026 at 5:01 AM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
this might be my favorite tiktok
February 14, 2026 at 4:18 AM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
they should put humidifiers in every building in Calgary, every single person in the downtown area keeps presenting to the pharmacy with some sort of skin/eye/lips issue like
Spongebob in the episode where he visits Sandy for the first time and gets super dry.
February 13, 2026 at 1:03 AM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
at the pharmacy I'm currently at there's butter chicken poutine a short elevator ride away and I can spend my lunch break eating it here
Indoor garden with large fern or succulent type plants.
February 12, 2026 at 5:26 AM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
the software has so few guardrails it feels like it's daring me to make a dispensing error though like this is the exact vibe I get from the 2003-vibes software
Woman: "You can't give her a sword! It's not safe!" Skeleton dressed as Santa: "It's a sword. They're not meant to be safe." Man: "She's a child!" Skeleton: "it's educational" Man: "what if she cuts herself?" Skeleton: "then she will have learned a valuable lesson"
February 12, 2026 at 3:05 AM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
this rotation is very fun because "taking the C-Train to work downtown in a nice shirt" is exactly what I thought being a grownup was like when I was 3 years old
Me on the train with blue square glasses, a black KN95 mask, a black leather jacket, and a dark blue dress shirt with pink accents.
February 9, 2026 at 4:32 PM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
got the row to myself because I am, once again, God's favorite traveler
golden hour view of airplane wing over fluffy white clouds
February 8, 2026 at 1:17 AM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
Something something biomarkers as the modern "who has the best blood"
Elizabeth Davies post Red flag #3: Ignoring the Biggest Predictors of Health Longevity culture obsesses over biomarkers and optimisation while quietly ignoring what shapes health most - poverty, access to healthcare, safe housing. When those are ignored, inequality gets reframed as personal failure.
February 4, 2026 at 6:05 AM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
I've commented before on why Mormons and ex-Mormons are drawn to the longevity movement but it turns out they also share in common "arguments about whether the documentary evidence technically ~proves that a prominent thought leader had sex with a teenager"
I was about to ask "what is the POINT of being mormon and believing in eternal life in your perfected body only to be obsessed with the longevity people" and then I realized that Mormonism already teaches "denying yourself all the good parts of life on earth is the key to eternal longevity" and answered my own question.
February 4, 2026 at 5:25 AM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
sometimes you have to call on a prescription and the vibes are just
John Mulaney: "Sometimes, [pharmacists] would say 'what do you think you're doing?' But that just meant 'Stop.' They didn't actually wanna know my thought process."
February 2, 2026 at 11:16 PM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
convinced the floater pharmacist to change the prescription to plain viscous lidocaine and let me sell her the other (OTC) ingredients and give her this bottle
Empty liquid bottle with a handwritten label "Magic Mouthwash: fill antacid, diphenhydramine and lidocaine to _top_ of duct tape lines. Shake to mix." Back of bottle with three thin lines made out of duct tape marking measurements.
January 31, 2026 at 10:38 PM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
Carney laughing and wrapping the Heated Rivalry fleece around himself in a pose that resembles the "girl is who is 'going to be okay'" meme. Screenshot is captioned "Prime Minister who is 'going to be okay'".
January 30, 2026 at 7:17 AM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
THIS REALLY HAPPENED
January 30, 2026 at 7:07 AM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
I was going to go to bed on time but instead I have been watching every possible clip of tonight's event
Mark Carney in the Heated Rivalry fleece hugging Hudson Williams with Hudson's leg literally wrapped around him on the red carpet.
January 30, 2026 at 6:55 AM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
Yeah and I also wish that didn't so frequently turn out like
Scooby doo meme: Fred unmasks a ghost labeled "I'm taking vitamins and supplements seriously!" to reveal a man labeled "RFK Jr-ass bullshit".
January 30, 2026 at 5:37 AM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
Zoë has requested we have lasagna upon my return to Calgary “because it’s something everyone likes” which is such a fun insight into how my children perceive things
Text from me: ““Lasagna violates the Dr. Buzzola Zero Happiness Diet but you can also take it out of the freezer and put it directly into the oven and that’s the only step so who’s to say if it’s good or bad really” — me”.
January 26, 2026 at 5:35 AM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
please enjoy this solely educational video on prototaxites
January 26, 2026 at 3:55 AM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
Still more options:
the dad from succession saying “I love you, but you are not serious people”. The middle panel of the “I want things to be different” comic where a pink amorphous blob person with the 😐 expression smashes various household objects with a baseball bat. Detail of the tumblr post wherein the user asked their coworker if he got a haircut and it turned out he got top surgery. Ink sketch of coworker with short hair, a beard, and F cups captioned “Mike, from work”. Pixelated image of Gonzo captioned “GUILT”.
January 25, 2026 at 6:59 PM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
Even more options:
A close-up of Homer Simpson’s eyes and forehead during the “money can be exchanged for goods and services” scene. Jonathan Bailey looking perplexed with a transparent overlay of Jonathan Bailey looking even more perplexed. Obi-Wan Kenobi saying “That’s…why I’m here” in Attack of the Clones. A pink smiling stuffed animal axolotl over a fire background captioned “I’m seriously at my limit”.
January 25, 2026 at 6:54 PM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
More options:
Whitaker and Santos looking gay and smug. Mr. Rogers saying “did you ever grow anything in the garden of your mind?” while pointing to his brain but in the specific frame chosen he looks pissed and like he’s miming a gun to his head. Jesse and James in the deleted episode where they’re both in bikinis and James has enormous badonkadonks. Mamdani slumped against a wall at one point during election night saying “Oh God I want to die”.
January 25, 2026 at 6:50 PM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
Potential options for the rest of you:
John Hamm in Mad Men yelling “that’s what the money is for”. Batman with the Far Side cow tools comic tool saying “this is the tool of the cow. We do not understand it. We will not use it”. Gideon the ninth edited with a muppet to be Beaker the Ninth. Pope Leo with a baseball bat.
January 25, 2026 at 6:47 PM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
(he’s right and he should say it)
Gimli “never thought I’d die fighting side by side with an elf” meme edited to read: Never thought I’d wind up defending the 2nd Amendment. What about side-by-side with Bill Kristol? Also no.
January 24, 2026 at 6:26 PM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
that’s what the 2nd Amendment is for

(carrying a weapon you’re not using against anyone without being harassed by government agents)
Don Draper in the scene where he yells “that’s what the money is for”.
January 24, 2026 at 5:59 PM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
idk what this says about me
Recent searches: omphale and hercules wegovy oral pill kxlu radio red-bellied woodpecker anne boleyn three breasts anne boleyn monster legend role of kinins in connective tissue role of kinins in scar tissue i will survive aretha franklin cdc logo dumpster fire woman scientist stock image the onion headline Recent searches continued from “the onion headline”: the onion headline template nebulizer therapy dental health adp tax return pde5 inhibitors with poppers classic fit wool tweed multicheck 1818 sport coat ou pharmacy abbreviation microliter
January 21, 2026 at 3:41 AM
jblainefoster.bsky.social
well no wonder the bus got kidnapped! you invoked the laws of dramatic irony!!
OP 8 hours ago: “hard to doomscroll when you attempt to take in the entire metropolitan museum of art in one day. now I have to return to our nations capital, where just existing is doomscrolling”
January 20, 2026 at 6:24 AM