Jill Hand
@jhandy.bsky.social
Author of the Trapnell Southern gothic humorous thriller series. Try it, you’ll like it. Getting too old for this shit, but showing up anyway. Excelsior!
Happy Holidays from our house to yours
December 25, 2025 at 7:16 PM
Happy Holidays from our house to yours
Pipe smokers live longer. Longer than whom? Lots of folks! Guys who ignore the flashing lights and warning bells as they drive through a railroad crossing, circus aerialists with a drinking problem, human cannonballs, lots of folks!
This holiday season, give him a woodie, a Kaywoodie.
This holiday season, give him a woodie, a Kaywoodie.
December 21, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Pipe smokers live longer. Longer than whom? Lots of folks! Guys who ignore the flashing lights and warning bells as they drive through a railroad crossing, circus aerialists with a drinking problem, human cannonballs, lots of folks!
This holiday season, give him a woodie, a Kaywoodie.
This holiday season, give him a woodie, a Kaywoodie.
Attempting to save money, Eunice Sleutweiler of Easton, PA, purchased an inferior cap for her son, Horace. Her thoughtless act inadvertently doomed him to a lifetime of mockery and failure.
December 19, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Attempting to save money, Eunice Sleutweiler of Easton, PA, purchased an inferior cap for her son, Horace. Her thoughtless act inadvertently doomed him to a lifetime of mockery and failure.
Melania Trump is starring in a movie! The title is Melania, because all important movies have one-word titles. Casablanca, for instance, or Joker.
Speaking of whom, look at Mel in her hat!
Soundtrack: “Don’t Cry For Me, Mar-a-Lago,” “My Grift Will Go On,” and “(Epstein’s) Island Girl.”
Speaking of whom, look at Mel in her hat!
Soundtrack: “Don’t Cry For Me, Mar-a-Lago,” “My Grift Will Go On,” and “(Epstein’s) Island Girl.”
December 18, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Melania Trump is starring in a movie! The title is Melania, because all important movies have one-word titles. Casablanca, for instance, or Joker.
Speaking of whom, look at Mel in her hat!
Soundtrack: “Don’t Cry For Me, Mar-a-Lago,” “My Grift Will Go On,” and “(Epstein’s) Island Girl.”
Speaking of whom, look at Mel in her hat!
Soundtrack: “Don’t Cry For Me, Mar-a-Lago,” “My Grift Will Go On,” and “(Epstein’s) Island Girl.”
Nothing says Merry Christmas quite like a fatal frog mugging.
December 17, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Nothing says Merry Christmas quite like a fatal frog mugging.
Remember the reason for the season. Get into the holiday spirit with feasting, gambling and revelry.
Saturnalia, December 17-25
Saturnalia, December 17-25
December 8, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Remember the reason for the season. Get into the holiday spirit with feasting, gambling and revelry.
Saturnalia, December 17-25
Saturnalia, December 17-25
I wonder who the first person was who saw a lobster and thought, that thing with pinchy claws and ten legs looks yummy. Ima eat it!
November 30, 2025 at 3:31 PM
I wonder who the first person was who saw a lobster and thought, that thing with pinchy claws and ten legs looks yummy. Ima eat it!
Newly married Nancy sure knew how to tickle the menfolks
November 28, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Newly married Nancy sure knew how to tickle the menfolks
From Brockton, Massachusetts came Eleganza, a mail-order purveyor of quintessential 1970s men’s fashion.
It proclaimed its wares not merely sexy, but “super sexy.”
Yowza!
Its seemingly bold yet essentially vague slogan was Things happen when you wear ELEGANZA!
It’s safe to say they probably did.
It proclaimed its wares not merely sexy, but “super sexy.”
Yowza!
Its seemingly bold yet essentially vague slogan was Things happen when you wear ELEGANZA!
It’s safe to say they probably did.
November 23, 2025 at 10:50 AM
From Brockton, Massachusetts came Eleganza, a mail-order purveyor of quintessential 1970s men’s fashion.
It proclaimed its wares not merely sexy, but “super sexy.”
Yowza!
Its seemingly bold yet essentially vague slogan was Things happen when you wear ELEGANZA!
It’s safe to say they probably did.
It proclaimed its wares not merely sexy, but “super sexy.”
Yowza!
Its seemingly bold yet essentially vague slogan was Things happen when you wear ELEGANZA!
It’s safe to say they probably did.
I’m deeply disappointed in stroopwafels. I’m speaking of the Dutch syrup-filled waffle cookies.
They promise so much and deliver so little.
They promise so much and deliver so little.
November 21, 2025 at 3:06 PM
I’m deeply disappointed in stroopwafels. I’m speaking of the Dutch syrup-filled waffle cookies.
They promise so much and deliver so little.
They promise so much and deliver so little.
There was a lot happening on that plate: steak, rice, chips, an egg, green beans, carrots, a lemon wedge, and, for some reason, a flower.
As plating goes, it was a bit messy, but the food was outstanding. Could have done without the flower, though. Chefs who do that are trying too hard, IMO.
As plating goes, it was a bit messy, but the food was outstanding. Could have done without the flower, though. Chefs who do that are trying too hard, IMO.
November 20, 2025 at 12:03 PM
There was a lot happening on that plate: steak, rice, chips, an egg, green beans, carrots, a lemon wedge, and, for some reason, a flower.
As plating goes, it was a bit messy, but the food was outstanding. Could have done without the flower, though. Chefs who do that are trying too hard, IMO.
As plating goes, it was a bit messy, but the food was outstanding. Could have done without the flower, though. Chefs who do that are trying too hard, IMO.
Currently reading Baby Driver by the late Jan Kerouac. It’s an autobiographical novel by Jack Kerouac’s daughter. She met her famous father twice, briefly, and holy guacamole! What a life she led!
IMO she was a much better writer than her distant, disinterested dad. Read it and see what you think.
IMO she was a much better writer than her distant, disinterested dad. Read it and see what you think.
November 17, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Currently reading Baby Driver by the late Jan Kerouac. It’s an autobiographical novel by Jack Kerouac’s daughter. She met her famous father twice, briefly, and holy guacamole! What a life she led!
IMO she was a much better writer than her distant, disinterested dad. Read it and see what you think.
IMO she was a much better writer than her distant, disinterested dad. Read it and see what you think.
Does your brain ever glitch, causing you to tell customer service personnel things like, “You mailed me the thingy that makes the internet go faster, but when I plugged it in to the box-thing with lights on it, the internet doesn’t go?”
No?
Me either.
No?
Me either.
November 14, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Does your brain ever glitch, causing you to tell customer service personnel things like, “You mailed me the thingy that makes the internet go faster, but when I plugged it in to the box-thing with lights on it, the internet doesn’t go?”
No?
Me either.
No?
Me either.
Dick Cheney is dead. What’s everyone having for breakfast? I’m having granola.
November 4, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Dick Cheney is dead. What’s everyone having for breakfast? I’m having granola.
Shopping with my son for his first house, I find myself asking him, “Remind me, was that the one that smelled like urine or the one with the Teletubbies wallpaper?”
October 30, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Shopping with my son for his first house, I find myself asking him, “Remind me, was that the one that smelled like urine or the one with the Teletubbies wallpaper?”
When I was a child, among the businesses in my town were the Rainbow Car Wash and Rainbow Carpet Cleaning.Their signage pictured a rainbow.🌈
Nobody freaked out and demanded the names be changed, claiming: tHe rAiNBow REPreSenT GoD pRoMiSe NoT to dO anOTher fLooD aNd iS nOT To bE tRIFLed WiTH!
Nobody freaked out and demanded the names be changed, claiming: tHe rAiNBow REPreSenT GoD pRoMiSe NoT to dO anOTher fLooD aNd iS nOT To bE tRIFLed WiTH!
October 23, 2025 at 4:22 PM
When I was a child, among the businesses in my town were the Rainbow Car Wash and Rainbow Carpet Cleaning.Their signage pictured a rainbow.🌈
Nobody freaked out and demanded the names be changed, claiming: tHe rAiNBow REPreSenT GoD pRoMiSe NoT to dO anOTher fLooD aNd iS nOT To bE tRIFLed WiTH!
Nobody freaked out and demanded the names be changed, claiming: tHe rAiNBow REPreSenT GoD pRoMiSe NoT to dO anOTher fLooD aNd iS nOT To bE tRIFLed WiTH!
I just want to put it out there that I was not involved in the Louvre Museum jewelry heist. I wasn’t even invited to participate, which annoys me.
October 21, 2025 at 4:18 PM
I just want to put it out there that I was not involved in the Louvre Museum jewelry heist. I wasn’t even invited to participate, which annoys me.
Ten-year-old me would buy this 19.5-inch polyresin statue without hesitation and proudly display it in the front yard, for all my friends to gaze upon with envy.
I’m still tempted, but I’d want it to be life size, with animatronic movements and whinnying, galloping sounds.
I’m still tempted, but I’d want it to be life size, with animatronic movements and whinnying, galloping sounds.
October 21, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Ten-year-old me would buy this 19.5-inch polyresin statue without hesitation and proudly display it in the front yard, for all my friends to gaze upon with envy.
I’m still tempted, but I’d want it to be life size, with animatronic movements and whinnying, galloping sounds.
I’m still tempted, but I’d want it to be life size, with animatronic movements and whinnying, galloping sounds.
My town’s water department presented us with a gift of a 10-cup Britta water filter and pitcher worth at least $16 retail, to make up for having ignored our complaints about drastically low water volume.
Now they’re out there with a device called a mole, installing a new water line.
Now they’re out there with a device called a mole, installing a new water line.
October 9, 2025 at 3:49 PM
My town’s water department presented us with a gift of a 10-cup Britta water filter and pitcher worth at least $16 retail, to make up for having ignored our complaints about drastically low water volume.
Now they’re out there with a device called a mole, installing a new water line.
Now they’re out there with a device called a mole, installing a new water line.
Kids growing up on the mean streets of suburban New Jersey learn early to double consonants when adding a suffix to a stressed syllable ending in a single vowel and consonant.
October 8, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Kids growing up on the mean streets of suburban New Jersey learn early to double consonants when adding a suffix to a stressed syllable ending in a single vowel and consonant.
“These chilis are very, very hot,” the waiter said.
“Be careful,” the waiter said.
“Try a tiny bite first,” the waiter said.
But did I listen?
Reader, I did not.
“Be careful,” the waiter said.
“Try a tiny bite first,” the waiter said.
But did I listen?
Reader, I did not.
October 6, 2025 at 4:47 PM
“These chilis are very, very hot,” the waiter said.
“Be careful,” the waiter said.
“Try a tiny bite first,” the waiter said.
But did I listen?
Reader, I did not.
“Be careful,” the waiter said.
“Try a tiny bite first,” the waiter said.
But did I listen?
Reader, I did not.
Saw a loon yesterday at a marina on the Navesink River. It dove under the water too fast to take a photo. They don’t often turn up as far south as New Jersey. Might be climate change, IDK.
October 3, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Saw a loon yesterday at a marina on the Navesink River. It dove under the water too fast to take a photo. They don’t often turn up as far south as New Jersey. Might be climate change, IDK.
