Joe Auerbach
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joeauerbach.bsky.social
Joe Auerbach
@joeauerbach.bsky.social
770 followers 280 following 9.6K posts
Professional nerd. Hobbyist nerd. Biological nerd?
he/him
I think I wrote a book? It was sort of an accident, but it's in my linktree: linktr.ee/joe.auerbach
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joeauerbach.bsky.social
I will probably share the doc with notes in my next campaign diary, but this was my favorite pair from a coven of hags.
Yest rattes, We han tell how ofte we tolden yest to cessen the creation winding west. We ben the west. Yest ben the est. Yest and yens no be saften her. We han the mightes more than ye. We be a kept by goddes far yonder youre wit and ken. And they serven a maister yit more myghty afore. Kitsch kitsch, skurfees. Stay. Sustren o Grene Yest rattes, We wilnt more of thine liquor We han sent the gifted thut we ken yest wilt desiren. Now yive us be ale. Yit abide in east. stay. Sustren o Grene
January 20, 2026 at 5:21 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
Hey conservatives,

If you're upset that Star Trek is progressive and always has been ... just pay some conservative asshole to make your own super regressive sci fi series. It's easy, right? I'm sure people will love it.
Lindsay and Tobias from Arrested Development talking. Lindsay: "Well, did it work for those people?" Tobias: "No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but ...." Topias: "but it might work for us."
January 16, 2026 at 6:13 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
It's like this is the final act of rebellion on the part of the boomers.

"Oh, dad fought Hitler? Well we're going to have our own Hitler, with ketamine and kiddie fiddling!"
Bender from Futurama wearing a fur coat. "Oh, dad fought Hitler? Well we're going to have our own Hitler, with ketamine and kiddie fiddling!"
January 9, 2026 at 6:12 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
Envy and Anger from Inside Out hiding behind a purple couch. Envy is saying, "It's like we don't learn anything".
January 7, 2026 at 9:07 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
I don't like mine any better
Full and I'm showing my Merriam-Webster 2026 word. It's bed rotting.
January 2, 2026 at 12:49 AM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
I actually couldn't find one so just imagine this but with water.

It's like a nightclub with goggles.
A shopping mall jammed with people.
December 30, 2025 at 7:50 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
Biblically accurate gingerbread house.
Is there anything for a holiday gingerbread display with Christmas lights. But there's a multi-eyed something or other in the window.
December 29, 2025 at 5:26 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
Taking the kids to Otherworld. Wish my luck.
I'm not even sure I can describe this, but it's a 10-ft tall monster made out of fur with big long sticks for fingers and a huge orange leaf mask for a face. He has glowing eyes and is sort of evocative of fairy krampus.
December 29, 2025 at 3:04 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
A sweet draw steel tracker I got for Yule. H/T to rhibear the woosh on reddit for linking the STL. (It's unclear if they are the original designer)
A plastic tray with slots for dice to track stamina, temp stamina, recoveries, surges, and victories with little green dice. On the top right are square holes and markers for heroic resources and under that are trackers for a turn checklist: heroic resource, main action, move action, maneuvers. And a triggered action. It's all shades of green.
December 26, 2025 at 4:54 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
I loved all my yule gifts, but this one will probably get the most use.
A silver spoon with the phrase "dad's ice cream shovel" etched into it.
December 23, 2025 at 7:25 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
Hail the Victorious Sun.

Happy Yule.
A picture of the sunrise from the front yard in a normal neighborhood. Trees are backlit and there's a pride flag in the foreground.
December 21, 2025 at 12:46 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
Yule is happening.
A Christmas tree with lights and ornaments. There's presents around it and some stockings hung on a folding table .... With care.
December 21, 2025 at 7:18 AM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
It's always nice to see that I have done something useful ahead of time.
It's a pair of posts above which is the text " I recommend y'all block and report" and underneath that it just says blocked because I have already got this person blocked.
December 21, 2025 at 1:54 AM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
Look what arrived!
Me in a grey hoodie and a red jacket holding up a physical copy of The Steel Ghost. The cover shows a blue woman scene from the back holding a sword. She's unclothed. The book is in a blue and silver motif.
December 20, 2025 at 6:34 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
My bank will not like me sharing this, but also I'm shocked I marked this many spots and got no bingo.
BlueSky bingo. I'm not typing out all this text, but it's a lot of stuff about hobbies and how many siblings you have and other stuff my bank doesn't want me talking about. 17 boxes are marked by pink dots. No BINGO.
December 10, 2025 at 3:20 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
I mean ... they're not wrong.
Youtube Recap image. A red and pink background around a black backlit screen. It says "Your YouTube Award" and below in the screen it says, "Most likely to craft a killer story while enjoying a gourmet snack"
December 9, 2025 at 8:36 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
Error. "Not found. Account has been suspended. Try again."
December 8, 2025 at 6:48 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
A four panel comic. In the first panel there is a bartender standing behind a bar and he says no, we're not a Nazi bar. In the second panel he says we just didn't ban Nazis then all the Nazis started coming here because nobody else would allow them. In the third panel he says now there are best customers and nobody that is in a Nazi wants to drink here. The fourth panel shows the exterior of the bar and it is labeled Twitter with a supplemental sign to the left that says X.
November 29, 2025 at 6:05 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
I feel like I'm properly run bird feeder is proof that competition and conflict are a byproduct of scarcity.

All these different kinds of birds. I just hanging out here and eating because they don't need to fight over food.
A large bird feeder with many birds at it on the ground underneath is a pile of bird seed that also has many birds at it. A large bird feeder with many birds at it on the ground underneath is a pile of bird seed that also has many birds at it there are several different species of birds.
November 27, 2025 at 2:47 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
3 panel cartoon. A man is riding a bike. In panel 2 he jams a stick in his bike wheel. In panel 3 he's laying on the ground clutching his knees. Above him is an Olivia Nuzzi tweet that says, "Why does Hollywood think female reporters sleep with their sources?"
November 19, 2025 at 4:21 AM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
Getting ready for Draw Steel. This is the Fomorian mini that I turned into a Bredbeddle.

Basically I took the head off and painted the stump and replaced its boring mace with a homemade ax made of some large matchsticks and a frame hanger.
It's a D&D mini of a lumpy giant with no head and a jagged ax that it is swinging all the way from the back It's a D&D mini of a lumpy giant with no head and a jagged ax that it is swinging all the way from the back It's a D&D mini of a lumpy giant with no head and a jagged ax that it is swinging all the way from the back It's a D&D mini of a lumpy giant with no head and a jagged ax that it is swinging all the way from the back
November 18, 2025 at 9:10 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
It's a mystery
3 panel cartoon. A man is riding a bike. In panel 2 he jams a stick in his bike wheel. In panel 3 he's laying on the ground clutching his knees. Above him is an Olivia Nuzzi tweet that says, "Why does Hollywood think female reporters sleep with their sources?"
November 18, 2025 at 6:17 AM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
I can't put into words why this infuriates me so much but it really does.
Me searching for kill me by Hayley Williams and the search results giving me absolutely everything else except that song including the album it's on
November 17, 2025 at 10:53 PM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
You guys. I know that this timeline is stupid but these memes are so good.

I just literally choke laughed.
I'm adding a suit and tie leans down to whisper into the ear of George w bush. He's saying, "Sir, a second Clinton blowjob has hit the White House."
November 15, 2025 at 1:35 AM
joeauerbach.bsky.social
Obligatory selfie.
Some nerd in a mustard colored hoodie standing in front of a brick wall wearing an I voted sticker. He's smiling.
November 4, 2025 at 4:28 PM