Joey McAllister
LightNews LightNews
banner
joeymcallister.com
Joey McAllister
@joeymcallister.com
1K followers 490 following 11K posts
Mostly organic material and a series of vibrations registering as sound.

Abides in the liminal space between the Twin Cities of Saint Paul and Minneapolis, where nothing is quite real and anything is possible.

Drums, mandolin. Rarely at the same time.
Posts Replies Media Videos
joeymcallister.com
Uh oh.
999 followers The other image flipped and zoomed to just show “666.”
January 13, 2026 at 2:02 AM
joeymcallister.com
The creepy girl from The Ring. You can’t see her face because her long, black hair is covering it. She wears a long white dress. The caption reads “The Whistle.”
January 12, 2026 at 7:58 PM
joeymcallister.com
“The least little bit can do so much.”
~ Bob Ross
Chia pet Bob Ross facing a window. The light through the window shins on his face. The chia plants are getting rather long and are growing past his face toward the sunlight.
January 12, 2026 at 7:12 PM
joeymcallister.com
None dollars, left beef.
The None Pizza Left Beef meme, showing a photo of a pizza that presumably was ordered with no cheese or sauce and only beef on one side of the pizza.
January 12, 2026 at 12:01 AM
joeymcallister.com
4yo: “It’s a robot that is also the state of Minnesota.”

Me, in my head: Hmm, yes. ICE is helicoptering over Rochester.
An etch-a-sketch drawing that looks a little like Minnesota. It also has a lot of lines going across it.
January 11, 2026 at 11:04 PM
joeymcallister.com
This became very funny in my head when it was reposted by Eric Idle and I suddenly heard it as a Monty Python bit.
The quoted post, but showing that it has been reposted by Monty Python member and very funny person (presumed) Eric Idle.
January 11, 2026 at 10:32 PM
joeymcallister.com
“Don't be afraid to scrape the paint off and do it again. This is the way you learn: trial and error, over and over, repetition. It pays you great dividends—great, great dividends.”
~ Bob Ross
Chia pet Bob Ross stares through blinds out a window at a sun that is lowering in the west. He is probably thinking about squirrels.
January 11, 2026 at 10:13 PM
joeymcallister.com
What a difference a day makes.
Chia pet Bob Ross, with chia plants growing over most of his head. The front center part is still struggling to get going, as I think it was getting less water than the rest, but I’m spritzing it and expecting it to catch up in a day or two. The terra cotta bit is glistening from wetness, which makes Bob seem a little sweaty, but look, he’s working hard.
January 11, 2026 at 12:48 AM
joeymcallister.com
From a few days ago, but I rarely look at IG anymore.
A post by Instagram user belafleckbanjo: I have withdrawn from my upcoming performance with the NSO at The Kennedy Center. Performing there has become charged and political, at an institution where the focus should be on the music. I look forward to playing with the NSO another time in the future when we can together share and celebrate art.
January 10, 2026 at 10:43 PM
joeymcallister.com
Coming to Netflix
A Netflix listing for Kumiko: The Treasure Hunter. The description reads: KUMIKO THE TREASURE HUTTER Coming Thursday Movie • Drama • 2014 • 1h 44m • TV-PG When an exhausted Tokyo office worker convinces herself the buried cash featured in the film "Fargo" is real, she flees to snowy Minnesota to find it.
January 9, 2026 at 8:32 PM
joeymcallister.com
Starlight Unicorn Bob Ross is starting to green.
A chia pet of Bob Ross’s head. The seeds on top are starting to sprout little green bits.
January 9, 2026 at 8:25 PM
joeymcallister.com
• The Ambriola Company recalled thousands of batches of Pecorino Romano cheese due to contamination with Listeria monocytogenes. • The recall has been bumped up to Class I status, meaning that consuming the affected product could result in serious adverse health consequences, or even death. • The recall pertains to numerous brands, including Boar's Head, which was distributed throughout 20 U.S. states.
January 9, 2026 at 6:01 PM
joeymcallister.com
Anthropomorphizing inanimate things because they seem vaguely person like? Imagine.

(excerpted from Wikipedia)
"Cynthia" was a mannequin created in 1932 by Lester Gaba, an American sculptor, retail display designer and later a teacher and writer. An unusually natural and human-looking mannequin, Gaba used the attention Cynthia garnered to further anthropomorphize her. As a result, Gaba and Cynthia became famous, with Gaba becoming known for his mannequins, and with Cynthia appearing in magazines and being invited to high society events. Gaba's development of lighter-weight mannequins, with more natural, human features, along with Cynthia's popularity, impacted the use of mannequins in retail sales marketing. Cynthia herself soon became dazzlingly famous. Cartier and Tiffany sent her jewelry, Lilly Daché designed hats for her, and couturiers sent her their latest fashions, furrieries sent minks. Cynthia began to receive large quantities of fan mail and was photographed by Alfred Eisenstaedt. She was given a credit card from Saks Fifth Avenue, and had a box seat subscription to the Metropolitan Opera House. She had her own newspaper column and a successful radio show. In 1938, she went to Hollywood to appear in the movie Artists and Models Abroad. In 1939, she was back in New York to see the notorious play Madame Bovary at the Broadhurst Theater. Some accounts of Cynthia's exploits appear to be apocryphal, as they lack corroboration by contemporary reporting. These include later reports of her being invited to the wedding of Prince Edward and Wallis Simpson (held in France in June 1937), and being flown to England for the coronation of Elizabeth II (held in London in June 1953). Various information about Cynthia published by fashion columnist Alice Hughes lack corroboration from other sources. In October 1941, Hughes stated that Gaba had tired of Cynthia, and the mannequin had been moved to the shop of a clothing designer on Park Avenue. In April 1947, Hughes stated that Cynthia had, at an unspecified point in time, "silently slipped off a chair and broke into a thousand pieces". While another source states it was reported by the press "as if a real person had died", contemporary examples of such reporting are lacking. In July 1950, Hughes reported that Gaba had restored Cynthia, installing "electronic talking and moving devices", and that she was being considered for a television soap opera. In July 1957, Hughes wrote that following Cynthia's unsuccessful television tryouts, Gaba had retired her, and thereafter only took her out once a year for display at Saks Fifth Avenue.
January 8, 2026 at 4:14 PM
joeymcallister.com
The opening of Roger Ebert’s review of the 1990 adaptation of Lord of the Flies:
William Golding's Lord of the Flies is, or used to be, a staple of everyone's teenage reading experience, a harrowing fable about how ordinary kids revert to savagery when they are marooned on a deserted island. The story is less poignant nowadays than it once was, if only because events take place every day on our mean streets that are more horrifying than anything the little monsters do to one another on Golding's island.
January 8, 2026 at 3:46 PM
joeymcallister.com
Gets worse before it gets better.
The film closes with a shot of a plaque on a mountainside, fenced off, with a U.S. flag flying nearby. The plaque reads the following: In the early days of World War III, guerrillas, mostly children, placed the names of their lost upon this rock. They fought here alone and gave up their lives, so that this nation shall not perish from the earth.
January 8, 2026 at 3:31 PM
joeymcallister.com
Carnival Cruise Lines.

ICE deleted observer footage.
A representative for Carnival told PEOPLE in a statement: "We are aware that U.S. Customs and Border Protection took a guest into custody as a person of interest. As this is a law-enforcement matter, we defer all further questions to the appropriate authorities." Verhas told 12 News that she had recorded the whole incident, but that a female ICE agent "snatched" her phone away. She said that her phone was returned, but only after the video she attempted to record of her husband being taken away by agents was deleted.
January 8, 2026 at 6:42 AM
joeymcallister.com
From the 2020 Academy of American Poets Prize-winning poem “On Learning to Dissect Fetal Pigs” by Renée Nicole Good (credited here under a former name, Macklin)

Full poem here: poets.org/2020-on-lear...
life is merely to ovum and sperm and where those two meet and how often and how well and what dies there.
January 8, 2026 at 5:46 AM
joeymcallister.com
Just, y’know, if you’re looking to test your block button.
mannimarco42.bsky.s.. @mannimarco42.bsky.social 1000% self defense!!! In this video you can clearly see her hit the ICE agent with her car. FAFO morons!!!
January 7, 2026 at 8:25 PM
joeymcallister.com
That’ll do.
A slice of cranberry cornbread with a pat of butter on it.
January 6, 2026 at 6:58 PM
joeymcallister.com
Oops, forgot the photo.

“Ever make mistakes in life? Let’s make them birds. Yeah they’re birds now.” ~ Bob Ross
A cranberry pecan corn bread, cooling in an open window. There is a Bob Ross chia pet in the background.
January 6, 2026 at 6:54 PM
joeymcallister.com
Joel Grey as the emcee in the film version of Cabaret. He has exaggerated stage makeup on. There is a speech bubble at the bottom, making it seem as if he’s speaking the quoted post.
January 6, 2026 at 3:35 PM
joeymcallister.com
You’re no stranger to cake.
The New Yorker cover with the two women in a kitchen. One woman is icing a cake. The image on the cake is Rick Astley singing “Never Gonna Give You Up.”
January 6, 2026 at 6:03 AM
joeymcallister.com
ALL YOUR CAKE
The New Yorker cover with the two women in a 1940s kitchen. One woman is icing a cake. The image on the cake is CATS from the game Zero Wing.
January 6, 2026 at 5:56 AM
joeymcallister.com
I think so, too.

“I guess I’m a little weird. I like to talk to trees and animals. That’s OK, though. I have more fun than most people.”
The artist Bob Ross, a man with a large, magnificent, permed dome of hair, has two squirrels on his shoulder. One squirrel’s tail is curved beneath Bob’s tail as if it is his mustache.
January 5, 2026 at 6:14 PM
joeymcallister.com
“Whatever makes you happy, you put in your world.” ~ Bob Ross
The box for the Bob Ross chia pet in front of an actual Bob Ross chia pet. The real one has a layer of damp chia seeds on it. The one on the box is fully grown, so his head is covered in green chia sprouts.
January 5, 2026 at 4:58 PM