Jp
@jpwinders.bsky.social
copywriter at frito-lay, comedian everywhere else (he/she)
Reposted by Jp
I’m at the place of dishonor…
I’m at the place where no highly esteemed deed is commemorated…
I’m at the combination place of dishonor and place where no esteemed deed is commemorated
I’m at the place where no highly esteemed deed is commemorated…
I’m at the combination place of dishonor and place where no esteemed deed is commemorated
March 15, 2025 at 12:12 AM
I’m at the place of dishonor…
I’m at the place where no highly esteemed deed is commemorated…
I’m at the combination place of dishonor and place where no esteemed deed is commemorated
I’m at the place where no highly esteemed deed is commemorated…
I’m at the combination place of dishonor and place where no esteemed deed is commemorated
y’all mind if i post pub on main
January 21, 2025 at 12:39 AM
y’all mind if i post pub on main
“a second white christmas has hit the towers”
December 24, 2024 at 6:50 AM
“a second white christmas has hit the towers”
Reposted by Jp
sure, everybody hates snake oil — until their snake starts squeaking
December 15, 2024 at 1:04 PM
sure, everybody hates snake oil — until their snake starts squeaking
“be not afraid”
December 11, 2024 at 7:27 PM
“be not afraid”
just won my first squirting contest. i can’t believe how far i’ve cum
December 6, 2024 at 11:35 PM
just won my first squirting contest. i can’t believe how far i’ve cum
does the judge swear you out after you’ve been sworn in or are you just cursed to be honest forever
December 4, 2024 at 3:00 PM
does the judge swear you out after you’ve been sworn in or are you just cursed to be honest forever
Reposted by Jp
TEACHER: your son was caught playing Pokémon in class
PARENT: god he’s so fucking cool
TEACHER: way too goddamn cool
PARENT: god he’s so fucking cool
TEACHER: way too goddamn cool
November 21, 2024 at 3:23 AM
TEACHER: your son was caught playing Pokémon in class
PARENT: god he’s so fucking cool
TEACHER: way too goddamn cool
PARENT: god he’s so fucking cool
TEACHER: way too goddamn cool
people should point more knives at me
what opinion gets knives pointed at you
November 21, 2024 at 12:42 AM
people should point more knives at me
Reposted by Jp
My favorite thing about working at an Antarctic research station is the solitude. My least favorite? Being driven insane by ghostly visions
November 20, 2024 at 7:12 AM
My favorite thing about working at an Antarctic research station is the solitude. My least favorite? Being driven insane by ghostly visions
refusing to vaccinate my skeets because i want them to go viral
November 20, 2024 at 2:12 PM
refusing to vaccinate my skeets because i want them to go viral
there are only two sexes!! one on valentine’s day and one on your birthday!! sorry liberals!!
November 20, 2024 at 5:28 AM
there are only two sexes!! one on valentine’s day and one on your birthday!! sorry liberals!!
Reposted by Jp
me: Ok now let’s do a silly one
first guy in police line up: *kermit voice* Give me all your cash
first guy in police line up: *kermit voice* Give me all your cash
November 20, 2024 at 4:36 AM
me: Ok now let’s do a silly one
first guy in police line up: *kermit voice* Give me all your cash
first guy in police line up: *kermit voice* Give me all your cash
good joke bad magic trick
🤝
“i see what you did there”
🤝
“i see what you did there”
November 18, 2024 at 3:59 AM
good joke bad magic trick
🤝
“i see what you did there”
🤝
“i see what you did there”
Reposted by Jp
ME *traps wasp under a cup*
MAGICIAN GHOST WHO HAUNTS ME: *appears & sets down 2 more cups*
ME: no
MAGICIAN GHOST: *starts to shuffle them*
MAGICIAN GHOST WHO HAUNTS ME: *appears & sets down 2 more cups*
ME: no
MAGICIAN GHOST: *starts to shuffle them*
June 27, 2023 at 7:30 PM
ME *traps wasp under a cup*
MAGICIAN GHOST WHO HAUNTS ME: *appears & sets down 2 more cups*
ME: no
MAGICIAN GHOST: *starts to shuffle them*
MAGICIAN GHOST WHO HAUNTS ME: *appears & sets down 2 more cups*
ME: no
MAGICIAN GHOST: *starts to shuffle them*
Reposted by Jp
[being chased by killer]
ME: *frantically pressing crosswalk button*
ME: *frantically pressing crosswalk button*
November 16, 2024 at 11:48 PM
[being chased by killer]
ME: *frantically pressing crosswalk button*
ME: *frantically pressing crosswalk button*