I can't believe the UK is going through its own Meiji Restoration

All I think about when I hear people say that it’s bad taste to dance on Hulk Hogan’s grave is that Emmett Till’s monument had to be replaced with a 500lb steel bulletproof monument because white people simply won’t stop riddling it with bullets. So now it just has tons of dents. From bullets.

Do you ever think the guys who wrote The Expanse kick themselves for naming the piece of technology that sent humanity into the stars the Epstein Drive?

as a 3rd amendment absolutist i don't believe it is legal to quarter soldiers anywhere. including barracks. the entire armed forces should be sleeping rough in the woods or skid row at all times.

i haven't told Ed this because it's a birthday surprise but we have drafted Shedeur Sanders to co-host Better Offline.

I blame the pet shops who constantly tell people that men will only grow as large as the enclosure you keep them in.

pete hegseth just popped into the group chat planning my friend's birthday party but they already have enough hellfire missiles so I'm not sure he'll be much use there

For the second time in three presidential administrations, Stone Cold Steve Austin has hit two people in the executive branch with a Stone Cold Stunner. One of them is in the WWE Hall of Fame.

as a fun moral question can anyone explain to me an ethical difference between being an insurance company CEO and firing a gun blindly into a crowd

Pete Hegseth saying he will totally stop being a racist alcoholic but he has to be confirmed as Defense Secretary first is an argument so stupid it could only work in modern America

Whilst you slumbered, I studied the blade.*

*watched all 240 episodes of The History Channel’s competition series Forged in Fire in a delirious binge

spotify wrapped 916 BC you listened to that one guy with a lyre in the marketplace 403 times. honestly he's pretty weirded out. don't you have barley to thresh