POTUS is scared because he learned that scouts are knot afraid of him. He’s straight line expecting the evening noose to report that scouts have lashed out at his administration’s un-American policies. Bad times ahead for Rope-publicans.

There really should’ve been a puns merit badge.

That’s why he’s known locally as “Gov. Abattoir.”

So … hobbit-ual criminals?

That’s exactly why I spent years training my soldiers for this shit: so they’d have the confidence to keep their cool and remember their duty when a dickhead politician put them in an untenable position.