Braum's Toker
@kranstin.bsky.social
no rules just right outback steakhouse (they/she)
timothee chalamet was built in a lab by a caricature artist
December 25, 2025 at 3:40 PM
timothee chalamet was built in a lab by a caricature artist
the number of instagram posts i've liked on accident trying to mute the music, my brain should be studied by scientists
December 20, 2025 at 4:25 PM
the number of instagram posts i've liked on accident trying to mute the music, my brain should be studied by scientists
mandatory bidets in every workplace
December 19, 2025 at 8:25 PM
mandatory bidets in every workplace
Reposted by Braum's Toker
Caring is an act of resistance in a system that thrives on indifference.
December 13, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Caring is an act of resistance in a system that thrives on indifference.
if you tell on your coworkers sitting in the bathroom stall for too long, ACAB includes you too
December 13, 2025 at 5:23 PM
if you tell on your coworkers sitting in the bathroom stall for too long, ACAB includes you too
just got off the phone with Woke, they said we're not saying "bless you" anymore, now you have to say "damn that's a sneezy bitch!" dont be mad at me, im just passing it along
December 11, 2025 at 12:03 AM
just got off the phone with Woke, they said we're not saying "bless you" anymore, now you have to say "damn that's a sneezy bitch!" dont be mad at me, im just passing it along
Reposted by Braum's Toker
ME: [seven days into the Twelve Days of Christmas, showing up at the bird store again] hello, I would--
BIRD STORE GUY: no. you have to tell me what you're actually doing with all these birds before I sell you any more.
BIRD STORE GUY: no. you have to tell me what you're actually doing with all these birds before I sell you any more.
December 10, 2025 at 4:23 PM
ME: [seven days into the Twelve Days of Christmas, showing up at the bird store again] hello, I would--
BIRD STORE GUY: no. you have to tell me what you're actually doing with all these birds before I sell you any more.
BIRD STORE GUY: no. you have to tell me what you're actually doing with all these birds before I sell you any more.
nobody warned me that jokes about dating other people's dads would start being less funny as i got older, i was not emotionally prepared for this
December 10, 2025 at 7:11 PM
nobody warned me that jokes about dating other people's dads would start being less funny as i got older, i was not emotionally prepared for this
i would love to stay informed but the ads on every news site crash my phone browser after 3 seconds
December 10, 2025 at 12:05 AM
i would love to stay informed but the ads on every news site crash my phone browser after 3 seconds
we need more funny women's underwear. men have had it too good for too long. gimme a thong but there's a little stuffed gingerbread man's head at the top of the g-string and his face is panicked like he's getting sucked into my crack.
December 9, 2025 at 2:20 PM
we need more funny women's underwear. men have had it too good for too long. gimme a thong but there's a little stuffed gingerbread man's head at the top of the g-string and his face is panicked like he's getting sucked into my crack.
every time i encounter a faucet in the wild that was built or installed backward or upside down, it emboldens me to DIY more stuff around my home because, how bad could i possibly fuck it up? worse than a paid plumber on a corporate reno?
December 9, 2025 at 1:56 PM
every time i encounter a faucet in the wild that was built or installed backward or upside down, it emboldens me to DIY more stuff around my home because, how bad could i possibly fuck it up? worse than a paid plumber on a corporate reno?
[2022] hmm, wonder what'll change going forward now that it's basically irrefuable that working 100% remotely improves overall employee happiness, eliminates company overhead costs, all while measurably boosting productivity?
[2025] ... oh
[2025] ... oh
December 7, 2025 at 6:24 AM
[2022] hmm, wonder what'll change going forward now that it's basically irrefuable that working 100% remotely improves overall employee happiness, eliminates company overhead costs, all while measurably boosting productivity?
[2025] ... oh
[2025] ... oh
no shade but why does every metal drummer soundcheck with blue monday
December 6, 2025 at 12:04 AM
no shade but why does every metal drummer soundcheck with blue monday
did yall know they made FIVE Scorpion King movies???
December 5, 2025 at 9:02 PM
did yall know they made FIVE Scorpion King movies???
y'all ever take a morning shit and when you flush the toilet sounds offended
November 26, 2025 at 2:43 PM
y'all ever take a morning shit and when you flush the toilet sounds offended
more like Ariana Pequeño, amiright
November 26, 2025 at 2:16 PM
more like Ariana Pequeño, amiright
if i were a lyft driver, i wouldn't want anybody looking at my tiny little car puttering around the map, how embarassing
November 25, 2025 at 2:23 PM
if i were a lyft driver, i wouldn't want anybody looking at my tiny little car puttering around the map, how embarassing
airbnb owners should be forced to sleep in every single bed at each of their rentals for at least one night
November 22, 2025 at 4:48 PM
airbnb owners should be forced to sleep in every single bed at each of their rentals for at least one night
Reposted by Braum's Toker
The Virgin Spring
Ingmar Bergman, 1960
Ingmar Bergman, 1960
November 3, 2025 at 9:28 PM
The Virgin Spring
Ingmar Bergman, 1960
Ingmar Bergman, 1960
they're doing to us with AI what they did to us with Bluetooth, which is inexplicably force it on us regardless of the fact that its bugs outweigh its comparative improvements on its predecessor
October 25, 2025 at 5:20 AM
they're doing to us with AI what they did to us with Bluetooth, which is inexplicably force it on us regardless of the fact that its bugs outweigh its comparative improvements on its predecessor
"second consecutive double overtime game" is my MK ULTRA activation phrase
October 24, 2025 at 2:55 AM
"second consecutive double overtime game" is my MK ULTRA activation phrase
Reposted by Braum's Toker
Records obtained by ProPublica indicate that food banks across the country were expecting more than 27 million pounds of chicken, 2 million gallons of milk, 10 million pounds of dried fruit and 60 million eggs that never arrived.
Trump Canceled 94 Million Pounds of Food Aid. Here’s What Never Arrived.
ProPublica obtained records from the Department of Agriculture that detail the millions of pounds of food, down to the number of eggs, that never reached food banks because of the administration’s cut...
projects.propublica.org
October 23, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Records obtained by ProPublica indicate that food banks across the country were expecting more than 27 million pounds of chicken, 2 million gallons of milk, 10 million pounds of dried fruit and 60 million eggs that never arrived.
i am never gonna know if i have a stroke, i forget about toast CONSTANTLY
October 23, 2025 at 3:55 AM
i am never gonna know if i have a stroke, i forget about toast CONSTANTLY
I love talking shit and laughing at duck jeep people, but a wrangler with like 40 perfectly aligned rubber duckies in the dash just attempted to tailgate me and it made me laugh so hard i couldn't breathe
October 20, 2025 at 9:54 PM
I love talking shit and laughing at duck jeep people, but a wrangler with like 40 perfectly aligned rubber duckies in the dash just attempted to tailgate me and it made me laugh so hard i couldn't breathe
